Thursday 17 December 2009

If you want me I must be doing something right....

i never thought i would say this, but i'm glad me and him are over, coz now i have found someone that treats me with respect, and i know loves me as much as i love him <3

he knows that we have to take things slow, but we've already got so much planned.

he was so cute walking me home on saturday, really looking forward to tomorrow afternoon :)

he is everything that i could ever want and moree

friday afternoon with him <3
saturday afternoon with him <3
sunday with him <3
tuesday shopping with him <3
christmas eve with him <3
new year with him <3

i'm so glad he's bin there for me the last week and a half, and now that our feelings for each other have grown so much, nothing is goin to stand in our way of being together.

i hope we're together for a long time babyy xxxxx

Thursday 10 December 2009

i've already got my new years resolution

>>>No shit men in 2010<<<

heart can be broken a million times but there is only one guy that will be able to put it back together :)

lunch lmao, word association

you've just made me more confused about everything, why did you have to text me??

cant wait for next year :)

laterz xx

hmmm,





why does things like this happen??

need to sort things out, bin one of those days where theres too much stuff goin on...

wish i could just be with him right now...

damn, what am i gonna do

lifes tough

oh well, i was told i'm not a failure at life todai

ONE DAY TILL THE WEEKEND :D

15 day 14 sleeps till christmas ;)

excited much

watched the goonies last lesson, spent it textin people

laterz xx
lovee youu babyy xxxx

Wednesday 9 December 2009

hmmm... :/



sometimes i wonder if its me thats wrong, am i what you need??

where to go, who to talk to??

you said: i need you, but is that me...

laterz x
lovee you xxx

loveee



love this....

i'll always be dreamin bout my babyy xx

todai was quite good considering....

lol birthday beats for hayley :P

property of scott written all over my arms >> thanks mich :/

lol ecstasy :/ >> i did not apprecite the comments from molly lol

the announcement was not appreciated either :/ lol

cant wait for christmas... :D

i love you babyy your amazing

laterz x
lovee youu xxxx

Tuesday 8 December 2009

lol to rite girlz :P

we had a really productive lunch todai lol we have come up with our favourite things in a guy :/ lol was rather funni, and mich twistin everythin lol

1. to be called beautiful instead of fit

fit is basically sayin you just want us in bed (as mich put it lol) where as beautiful shows that you like how we look and think we look good

2. i love you

those words mean alot to us but dont say them if you dont mean them coz it will only come back on you in the end

3. never cheat

the worst thing you could do to us, and our girls will have our backs... so yeah

4. like us for our personality not our looks

we hate being wiv someone who only likes us for our looks, we want to know that you like us as a person too

5. conversations

if you want to talk us talk to us but make sure the conversation is meaningful we dont want to just say i love you and thats it ask us about stuff dont expect us to do all the work.

6. when we say something we mean it

so dont just say yeah whatever because we wont say it agen

7. we like surprises

bein surprised is the best thing for us even if its just you textin us at a different time just the little things make us happy :)

8. other guys always seem to care more

when we argue or somethin has happened we dont want another guy to be there for us we want it to be you we can talk to and trust

9. we want to be there for you

we know you want to be all manly but we want to help you out sometimes to :)

10. sometimes...

...we want to come before your mates...we want to have all of your attention...we want you to forget about all you female friends and just talk to us...your the person we think about and we want to know if we are the only person you think about... we dont care about what she did we are the one that wants to be there for you...we get jealous of other girls you need to tell us that we are better than them (mich agen :/)

11. msn

we dont like to start the conversation, we like to know that you want to talk to us...we like talking to you so give us a little bit of your time, dont copy and paste our convo's to your mates (hannah that little incident :/), dont forget we dont like waiting for an answer (mich is impatient)

the start of our 100 lol more tomorrow maybee if we remember :) most fo it was me and mich with bits from hannah and betherz and abbie lol we are too cool

laterz xx
love you babee xxxxx

well i fail at life

got my final mock results apart from english coz half the teachers are ill :@

maths - c
biology - e
chemistry - d
physics - d
media - b
graphics - b
textiles - b

but the grades that are gonna get sent off with my college application are

maths - b
biology - c
chemistry - b
physics - b
ict btec - destinction
media - a
graphics - a
textiles - a

i dunno why theres different for our college applications but oh well there better grades so i'm not complaining... just got to get them now

a whole day of english tomorrow :( all in aid of a poetry essay, well i get to spend the day wiv hayley, molly, nikki, haids and mich :) so it will be a good day hopefully :)

lol graphics and my chocolate bar from max :) didnt actually think i would get one :)

ict :D

mediaaa betherz :P

i love him :) and i realli cant wait to see him :)<3

laterz x
love you babyy xxxx

Monday 7 December 2009

for my babyy



you dont need to be you already are your everything to me and always will be... i'm always gonna be here for you no matter what you need :)

love you xxx

somethin for my baby

i love you no matter what everyone says... your amazing no matter what you say... yes your gorgeous (and yes i said it and i'd say it again coz its true)... i love everything about you... i cant wait to spend some time with you...

3 months together babyy... you mean so much to me, i dont know what i'd do if i ever lost you.

Scott, i'll never forget when i met you.

LOVE YOU GORGEOUS XXXX

todaaay :)

what a day.... an arguement, a song and a couple back together :)

i'm really happy for mich and jim :)

alex's joke in graphics :P

robin and lady gaga ;)

matt and his cookin

jodie... yesss i can do it and what? :P


tbh i dont get why she has to keep goin on about him, she knows whatever she says aint gonna change anythin and by bringing in some guy that fancies me aint gonna make her point much stronger realli tbh. I love him and she aint gonna change that by tellin me i'd be better off wiv out him coz tht aint true, he's made me happier than anyone else has and yes it is hard wiv the distance i never sed it werent but the more she goes on about him the more i'll defend him he hasnt done anythin wrong :)

i love him :)

anyways thats it

later x
lovee youu babyy xxx

Sunday 6 December 2009

LOVE

check it out ;)

ILYOUU

i hate it when you have to stop talking to one the one person that seems to make you happy... my parents put a time limit on my computer account so it logs me out dead on 10pm and then i end up not getting to finish my conversations :( all because i apparently spend too much time on the computer and end up with head aches.

on the upside i might be getting the electric guitar i really like for christmas.

spent the afternoon watching a film and eating chocolates can't wait for school to break up for christmas it means more days in front of the tv watching films... and thinking about him :)

really looking forward to getting all the outside lights up, that means christmas is deffinately nearly here :)


i have decided that i am goin to actually learn a whole song on my guitar not parts of songs, i always seem to just learn the chorus or intro and never get any further :/

really cant wait to see him :)

anyways thats it,

laterz x
i love you babee xxx

Saturday 5 December 2009

good day :)



had a good day today all the christmas decorations are up, my families presents are wrapped :)

wrote some more poems today :) and managed to post them (on the link)

really looking forward to christmas now :D

hmm not much else has happened really...

laterz x
love you baby xxx

Friday 4 December 2009

:)



i love him and i know that he's not going to loose me.

everything is okay again :)

just hope michelle sorts everything out soon and that her and jim work it out.

hopefully the grades that get sent off to my college are better than what i got for the wocks seeing as all my teachers now know that i was ill...

i managed to score yesterday in football :) lol i love our p.e lessons we're just too cool :) the rain plus me and tanya was quite funny. basketball next week...

laterz x
lovee youuu xxx

good song :)

Thursday 3 December 2009

as long as your dreamin bout me...

love that song

omg why is everything so complicated....

i love him soo much. i just want everyone to back off and leave us alone.

i know things aree tough i just want everything to be okaay and for everyone to stop interfeering

you know whatever happens we're gonna work it out

i hope everythin is okay wiv him and he dont have to go to hospital :(

he's more than i could ever ask for, i'm looking forward to christmas more than anything just hope he isnt ill/ hurt or broken :)

laterz x
love you babee xxx

why is people bother to do this??

you give people a chance to come clean, and then everything points to them lying to you.

they say they love you >> it that just a joke to them?

to all my mates i'm now a mug coz i want to let him explain everything to me and hear the truth from him.

i guess you wanna know whats up... well my whole world sorta came crashing down in ICT i logged on to my facebook and i see that my what i thought was my boyfriend has comments on his relationship change saying stuff about some other girl.... i just hope everything that was there aint true.

now all my mates think i'm a mug...

...guess i am...

...no reply to my texts...

...change in how he is wiv me....

...comments on fb...

...people telling me he has cheated on me...

...him saying to me that he fancies her...

after all that i give him the benefit of the doubt... i guess i must be

errrrrggghhh i just wanna know what is goin on and where i stand i dont want to lose him but it's looking like i already have.

laterz x

Wednesday 2 December 2009

:(









grrrr punched a basketball out of fustration today :( now my hand is all bruised :(

well i knew i'd failed in these exams but not this much:

maths: 32/60
physics: 15/42
biology: E can't remember what i got
textiles: B

major fail so far havent got the rest of my results yet

really cant wait to be wiv my babee :)



i love that song

everything about him is amazing and i dont know what i would do wiv out him, he's so special to me. i cant stay annoyed wiv him and even whe people say to me he shouldnt say those kinda things to me i still end up defending him its like i cant take people judging him when i know what he's really like and how we are together , i know we're gonna get through this, he's everything to me.

i'm really not looking forward to gettin all my other results :/

anyways,

laterz xx
i love you babeee and i always will no matter what happens we can work through it
xxxxxxx

Tuesday 1 December 2009

I love you










i love you baby, i miss him so much. i wish he would stop blaming himself for everything thats happened recently :( we're both to blame, i'm glad it's all sorted and we can move on from it. i want him to know that i love him and i dont ever want to let him go. he's amazing in every way and you really should start believing it. i'm realli looking forward to christmas now <3 :D :D

theres so much i want to say to him....

i love him so much, and i'm so happy that we've sorted it out i dont want to loose him.

laterz xx

i love you baby xxxx

is so happy now :)

yesterday ended realli badly (and in tears) but today has got really good although i did manage to spend most of it thinking about scott and if we would be able to sort everything out, i'm so glad that he will be staying at mine coz i love him so much i just wish i could show him :)

i was thinking too much about him today and not enough about the other half of my exam :/ so its not finished but we have till thursday hopefully i'll get it done :)

well 24 sleeps till christmas, love that song on the radio and the little rave on the bus to it ;)

milly was sick so she went home :( bless her

glad i had my mates today without them i would've bin a wreck :)

i am sooo happy that we are still together and i hope that never changes

laterz xx
i love you more than anything xxxx

Monday 30 November 2009

ffs...

he always used to make everything okay and now why does he do this, i thought i knew him and who he was but i guess people change. i wish i knew this was gonna happen before at least then i would have had a chance to work everything out in my head.

laterz xx

things can change really quickly

i thought i was the only one for you...

...i guess things can change



laterz x

5 hours down 5 to gooo

i love him havent bin able to get him out of my head all day....

done half of my textiles exam todai, just glad he dont go to my skool lol :/ we were al abit hyper at lunch todai :) good times

bin writtin another new hook so i hope this time i'll be able to find a new beat to it never know i might be able to write a whole song outa it :)

laterz xx
love you babee i always will xxx

Sunday 29 November 2009

you know

he is one amazing person, i've never known anyone care about everyone as much as he does, i want him to tell me everything in future and not pretect me because i have my own problems, i want to be there for him through everything.

i love you xx

I Love him xx

he's the best thing thats happened to me, and i want him to know that i will be here for him whenever and wherever he needs me to be. i love him and that wont change i wish there was more i could do.

i love you xxx

dont you just love it when...

you hear things off of other people and you dont know what to believe. when someones says something to you and they must have bin lying or otherwise, how do they do this to you? how am i going to move on this time??

i've bin hurt before but never like this

laterz x

Friday 27 November 2009

all i'll ever want

i hope he is feelin better soon :( wish i was there wiv him :(

i love him, he means everything to me and is more than i could ever i ask for i don't deserve him, I LOVE YOU BUBS

laterz x

love you my amazingly gorgeous bubs xxxxx

life well and truelly sucks big time

everything starts going right then things decide they just want to undo themselves and go wrong and messed up :(

everyone always says the opposite to how i feel

guys mess wiv my head

mates cause problems

parents just argue wiv me

i'm ill

ffs life couldnt be much better :)

laterz xx

thats made my day...

in fact it probably made my life the two best conversations in the world happen in all of two minutes i come back to msn and get added the the convo which results in:

olivia are you gay?
>>no just a girl crush

lmao that child is a funny bean (she's not gay btw)

how was your driving lessons todai?
>>only ran 3 grannies over this time dw

lolz...

my life has been made although go:audio are splitting up :( oh well me and betherzbean will have to find another topic of convo to talk about :/ no doubt james will become a busker...

laterz x
love you xx

well...

todai has been rather shit, deffinately failed english, might have just about scrapped a pass on maths and media :/

ten hours of textiles next week .....GREAT :(

feeling worse than i did before, it may have somethin to do wiv sitting in the freezing cold sports hall for the last week :@

hope i dont loose him...

work tomorrow :(

lmao at the driving lesson jokes wiv louis :P

laterz xxx

Thursday 26 November 2009

random pics from photobucket :)

I LOVE YOU Pictures, Images and Photos









i like lookin at photobucket :)



not bin doin much today only done some textiles exam prep :/ my only day this week without any exams :D

found out i got next friday off of school teacher training day :)

half day when we break up for christmas :)

gonna be raising money for help for heroes but dunno what we're doin yet :/

anyways thats it, still really ill :(

laterz x

love you bubs your everything i'll ever want or need (shut up about needing to be stronger you really dont need to be, i love you the way you are and that'll never change!!) xxxx

Wednesday 25 November 2009

well..

there isnt realli alot to write about todai, its bin pretty shit tbh. had exams all day and vertually lost my voice. not to mention the fact that certain people just dont seem to get the message.

laterz x
love yuo xxx

Tuesday 24 November 2009

I Love you



i love westlife, but not as much as i love him :)

i know i've deffinately failed chemistry and biology so far :) possibly english too oh well

hopefull i get higher than c's too get into college

not got much too say realli, feelin realli ill now though :(

laterz x
love you bubs xxx

Monday 23 November 2009

ffs...

why is it when you're happy people decide to go and say stupid things?

why is it guys take forever to admit how they feel and then when its too late they say they always wanted to be wiv you?

well i guess its tough coz i'm happy wiv him and thats the way its goin to stay :) no matter what anyone says to me i'm not going to end it wiv him

laterz x
i love you babe and i always will xxx

exams....

it's that time already :( started our mocks but they're realli important as they are the grades that get sent off to the colleges that we apply for :/

was realli ill last nite the first time i've felt that bad in ages :( but he made me feel so much better :) headaches and generally feeling really bad isnt good still not properly fine today but way better than i was, bin told i have to spend less time on the computer...

nearly finished my personal statement i have decided the career i want to do after a long talk to one of my teachers she was really helpful though and i have an idea of the course i want to do just hope i get in now... (fingers crossed)

realli looking forward to christmas, cant wait to see him its going to be soo good :) i think he'll like his christmas present, not telling what it is though :)

working two weekends in a row straight after the mocks and i wont be able to talk to him for those weekends :( but i guess its not all bad as it means i'll have more money to spend on christmas presents :)

anyways thats it for now, revision time agen :( english and chemistry :(

laterz x
love you xxxx

Saturday 21 November 2009

songs



Just for him :)

i havent wirtten anything the last couple of days :( college application, revision and the amazing boyfriend of mine take up alot of my time :)

well got a few more poems written in the time spare that i have, which is getting rare at the moment, maybe one day i'll get published :)

i actually think if i see another revision book/ guide/ notes i may scream gaah i really dont like exams but now i have to do well coz i really want to go to college now and if i get good results in these mocks then i will have a chance at getting to do the courses i want to do

decided what i'm getting him for christmas :) i really hope he likes it though :/

once this week is over i'll be able to relax and look forward to the christmas holidays :)

i've nearly finished writing my college application just got half of it to go :/

i can't wait to see him...

i managed to get a million points on nearly all the songs on lips lol and thats without being able to sing

i have to go into skool tomorrow and help raise money for the yearbook, cant wait till we start making it, i'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures or everyone in year 7 :)

working the next two weekends :( oh well i need the money, i need to find a more permanent job :/

anyways thats it :)

laterz xx
love you my gorgeous amazing boyfriend :) xxx

Thursday 19 November 2009

:) things change... people do too...

i have had quite a good day, soken to crazy but cute :) as always :)

bin listening to jls :)

me and my mate decided to do finger painting after takin bout what we used to do when we were little :)

ermm bout it really children in need tomorrow :)

laterz x
love you xxxx

Wednesday 18 November 2009

hmmm...

well good day, bad day to be honest

arguements lol, dont get some people sometimes...

exams, i hate revision i never get it...

actually managed to write a song today, its like the first time in months...

bin writing more poems...

decided what career i want to do i have actually decided and i think its somethin i would be good at :)

i need to sort my head out, got too much stuff goin on that i dunno what to do about....


laterz x
love you xx

some songs, i'll write later :)



Tuesday 17 November 2009

some songs









i love him, he's everything that i need and ever will

had an okay day

can't wait for tomorrow night should be a laugh

laterz xx
love you xxx

Monday 16 November 2009

well...

today started off really well and i think things are deffinately looking up, i've got my coursework back on track and i just hope nothing goes wrong :)

i've finally found a site that lets me post all of my poems :)

i really love talking to him and can't wait for christmas.

nothing much has really happened today.


laterz xx
love you xxxx

All of my poetry

thelast site i tried meant i wasn't able to have all my poetry online due to not having enough points therefore i have changed the site i use

:)

Sunday 15 November 2009

i wish....



i wish there was something i could do to show him how much he means to me, everything he does and everything he says is more than i could ever ask for. he is truely amazing i couldn't ask for anything more from him, he's kind, caring and really does care about all the people around him, there really is nothing more i could ask for.

i really can't wait for christmas it's going to be so good to see him and spend some time together.

laterz x
love you xxxx

i love him even more...







everything he does just makes me believe in us even more and i know that i havent felt this way about anyone before. i hope that we can stay together, he means so much to me and i'm so glad that he is able to tell me everything :) i know that he means so much to me, just to hear his voice is amazing and i appreciate everything he does and am really glad he feels the same way. When we can spend some time together it is goin to be really special.

i watched a really good film today and i think that it has shown me that you have to take the chance you have to follow your dreams and do what you feel is right.

i've actually done some of my textiles coursework after putting it off for so long and i've even started my revision, i think scott is starting to have a good effect on me :)


laterz x
love you babee xxxx

I've decided...

i've realized that i actually do write quite alot of poetry so i have decided to put it places:

http://www.writers-network.com/members/blitz0911

so if i don't post much here it means most of them are going onto the link :)

laterz x
love you xxx

Saturday 14 November 2009








i love talking to him :)

xfactor tonight :) go stacey!!

christmas is soon, which means i'll see him soon too :D shame i can't be annoyed with him i tell him not to do something but he does it anyway :)

anyways i'm goin to watch the xfactor later thats me time :):)

laterz xx
love youu xxxx

Friday 13 November 2009

well the day started off realli bad but has ended realli well :D

hearing his voice is the best thing that i can spend my time doing, ... well apart from being with him. which i can't wait for christmas it's going to be so good to see him :)

well it was my dad's birthday today and he now has his laptop, and took me and my mum out shopping. i had the day off school coz i went to bed with a migrane and didnt get any sleep so i spent all morning asleep :(

i'm going to have to spend all weekend doing my coursework and revision :( then i think i'm ment to be working the following weekend :/ but i'm not sure, this time of the year is great coz i dont have to do much, but i kinda is anoying coz that means i dont get paid :( well it wont be long till i can get a full time job :) and it's a year till i can start to drive :) which is even better :)

i really cn't wait for christmas it's going to be so good, to spend some time with him, it should be good to find out what my mates think of him as well :) but tbh i think they'll get on wiv him especially as they know how happy he makes me :)

i wrote this and i'm not sure if i've posted it :/

please don't go away
i cant let our love go astray
i dont want to watch you walk away
everytime i'm close to you
i know you'll always be mine
i need you more each day
and for this i pray
for you to stay
how can i show you that you live inside my mind
our hearts will remain intertwined
walking together hand in hand
how can everyone misunderstand
this is our love for each other
i know i'll never find another
everytime i hear your voice
i get a feeling i can't explain
a feeling like never before
i want you to be with me forever
going on a journey through whatever
i just want you to be next to me
side by side forever is where we should be

well havent had really much happen today other than discover lips is easier to play than singstar :) either that or i can actually sing which is very unlikely :)

well thats it realli :)

laterz xx
love you xxxxx

Thursday 12 November 2009

today was another gooood day :)





my dad's birthday tomorrow :) we all got him a laptop :)

its apparently 43 days till christmas according to one of the teachers at school :)

lunch today was hilarious my hat :), the maths book :), the hand cream :), the photos :), the bisuits :), the paint :).... good times

well this weekend i have decided that i will get some of my textiles coursework done and hopefully get the dress finished from the summer :)

can't wait for christmas, and to lay in his arms :)

laterz xx
love you babee xxxxx

Wednesday 11 November 2009

christmas :)

well i really hope scott can come in the christmas holidays, i really want to see himjust hope that nothing comes up :)

had quite a good day today but need something to look forward to coz all i have is these exams that they but back by like 3 weeks :(

me and half my mates have started listening to christmas songs already :)





i know what i'm getting him for christmas and i know he'll really like it, well he better do coz theres alot of effort involved in finding the right place to get it :)

can't wait to see him, it'll be sooooo good if i can :)

anyways waterloo road on tv tonite then maybe a little chat with him :) and possibly some coursework :/ (gaaah i hate school but i suppose only 6/7 months left then i can do what i want)

thinking bout not going to college and just getting a job :) that way i can do what i want when i want, and i'm actually sick of schools and teachers, wish i could leave now but if i did that then i would have no chanc eof getting a job and my parents would actually kill me :( all i've got to do is find a job somewhere, and then i'm sorted :)

really disliked biology today :( eyeballs are officially the most disgusting thing everrr.

i really wish sometimes i could just see him, and just spend some time together...

maybe i won't fail textiles anymore :) i've actually got some work done :P

i love it when he say i love you especially as we can't be together when we want to, but hearing his voice makes up for it. i love finding things out about him and can't wait to hear more embarrassing stories about him, good job there arent many bout me :) otherwise i would be worried bout what he could find out :P.

i hate talkin bout myself it makes me feel bigheaded, and there aint actually much to talk about to be totally honest, if people want to know stuff bout me then generally have to ask :)

can't wait to go christmas shopping especially now the ice rink is up on parkers peace :) the lights are gonna be well good this year, shame i cant go see them bein switche don this year was good the other year :( oh well :P. maybe i'll go skatin at some point agen last year was good especially wiv all the lights round it and dinner afterwards was a laugh, my cousin knows how to cheer me up :) shame i can't skate properly, hopefully we'll be able to go to ice planet in peterborough wiv the skool agen coz last year it was good i actually learnt how to skate properly but can't remember half of it :(

i really love christmas, and it's only the second week of november :/ that means bout 6 weeks till christmas day :) 45 days apparently :) not actually that long.

just got to decide what i'm getting my brother and sister for christmas now :/ i know what i'm getting everyone else :)

new year should be really good got my auntie and uncle and my cousin coming over on new years eve and maybe some other family too :) the summer holiday wiv them was great especially when we were all playin badminton that was pretty funny specially when me and my dad where beatin everyone :) it was realli hot too, still got a slight bit of my tan although it's goin pretty quick :(.

i really want to go to DI4R agen next year but not sure which one :/ probs not where i went this year, coz i want to try soemthin new :)

got rehearsals agen on friday for the christmas concert still cant figure out why i'm singing in it :/ some of the songs are good and it should be a laugh mr B is funny anyways so rehearsals are good specialy if bren bren turns up agen me and her had a laugh dancin last week :)

well thats basically all i have to say :) thought i'd fill in some of the gaps, seeing as he was at kick boxing and i didnt have much else to doooo :)

laterz xx
love you babe xxxx

Tuesday 10 November 2009



:)

had a good day today :)
birthday cake is nearly gone :(
gettin there wiv my textiles coursework :)

bin writing again :)

close in my heart
but in reality far apart
together we're meant to be
i know you'll agree
with you by my side
i never want to hide this feeling i have inside
distance doesnt mean anything to me
together is how we're meant to be
we'll be fine
just make sure you stay mine
lets do this together
at least then we know we'll be forever




this is just like realli funny we were all watchin it in media today, although bout 2 of those happened to me :/ when i played

anyways thats bout it

laterz xx
i love you xxxx

Monday 9 November 2009

what a good day :)

lol had a really good day especially as its my birthday :D 16 at last :P

got some really good presents and cakes :D and everyone made it a really good day at skool
lmao at jade at that hot maths teacher :) (no one can be as good as scott though)

i love him soo much, i really hope he can come for christmas :D he's amaziing and gorgeous :)

well thats it really

laterz xx
love you xxxx

Sunday 8 November 2009

:)

he is........

i really do think he is too good for me, he would do anything to see me, just hope we can. i love him and cant believe my parents are actually willing to let him stay, i just hope we can sort it out so that he can :)

its bin along time since i've posted one so i thought i'd post this seeing as it's rememberence sunday:

fighting for you and me
so we can be what we want to be
giving their lives
spend a minute to think about those that didnt survive
the wives left behind
see them come home
give them some respect
what more could we expect
they give everything for us
not doing it for some kind of buzz
lives are lost
for a big cost
you shouldn't have anything to hide
becuase they're our pride
give a thought to the families
forget about the controverise
they're our herose
lets support them in what they need to do
remember it's for me and you

for him:

walking hand in hand
strolling side by side
i stare into your eyes
met by your longing gaze
it's a feeling that you cant miss
greeted by your kiss
just tp be with you
is all i'd ever want to do


i hope that we'll be able to see each other soon...

laterz xx
love you babe xxxx

well...:)

had quite a good day today beat aaron at singstar agen :)
went wiv my family to buy my birthday presents for tomorrow, love my parents present :) well one part of it was amazing coz of what i've now got out of it :). bin practicing my guitar but i seem to be getting worse :/

last nite was really good looking forward to new year wiv the family :) it was funny when uncle ivan and dad were playin on the playstation, god their so competitive :)
and mum and auntie angela (my second mum) wiv their 20 million questions :)

birthday tomorrow :D:D

anyways thats it

laterz xx
love you xxx

Friday 6 November 2009

good songs :)











this is for him and just for him :)

i've wanted to say this to you but i can never find the right words so here it :)

ever since i met you i new you were going to be special to me, you always care about the little things and how i feel, i'm so lucky to have you in my life. the little things that you do always make me smile, just talking to you can make all my problems go away. i don't care what you say you are amazing, because there is no one that would treat me the way you do (and you are gorgeous). i love the fact that you have your dreams and you actually want to achieve them. when we talk and all you seem to want to do is make sure i'm alrite makes me feel so special. when we talk on msn and you wait till i'm offline before you go. i loe yu becuase you love me for being me and you dont want me to change :).... babe i love you and i just want you to know that i'll be here for you as much as you are there for me, i want you to tell me all the little things about you, i want to ask the questions you ask me, i want to be the one you ask for advice. you know i love you and i miss you when we can't be together but when we are together it will always be special.

i love you babe xxxx

lol my mate sent me these :)





everyone keeps sending the links to each other so i thought i'd just post them :)

laterz xx
love you xxx

what a mess :/

well i have realized how shit my life is and has been...

get bullied for 3 years
get beaten up
my auntie gets raped
my mum gets arthritis
my sister gets sexually assaulted and nothing gets done about it
and then there's all the little daily problems too

apart from those everything is fine.

at least i've got him :)

why is it when things start to look up they go straight back down again. i wish i had the guts to try and get back into football but i know there's no chance of getting back into it now.

got my school report today and found out that out of the a* and a i'm predicted i am only gettin that in 2 subjects.

got asked to sing in the christmas concert, thats a bit of a joke seeing as i cant even sing, stupid music teacher, then got dragged along to rehearsals, christmas so early and i didnt really feel like it.

my birthday's on monday :) and i dont feel like celebrating it at all. i even know what my parents are getting me this year, they know me so well that they have to get me to buy my own present, good one.

spent all morning making sure there was nothing for my mum to do or otherwise she would end up doing soemthing and ending up hurtin herself, especially as her arthritis is bad agen :( so i managed to do the housework in under and hour wiv my sister and go down to the shop to go get her some magazines all before i went to skool.

well there aint much else to say, just glad i've still got him :)

laterz xx
love you xxx

Thursday 5 November 2009

Something for him :)



our songs <3 hope he stays mine forever, i'm never goin to let you go now babe, love you.

laterz xx
love you xxx

Maddie Mccann

just found this heard bout it on the radio and thought i might post it :) really hope they find her soon



laterz xx
love you gorgeous xxx

I Love him :D



i'm so glad that i've got scott back :D and love everything about him, he's amazing :) i can't believe he'd want me back after i ended it. i've bin so happy today all because of him:)

anyways they have moved our exams :@ so now they're in somethin like three weeks, got no idea why and our reports are late :@ but there agen i aint too bothered about that :/

today i managed to make my arm swell up playing volleyball no idea what happened but nearly got taken to hospital :/ but its all gd apparently it was only something like a bruise or sprain but it dont hurt or anythin :)

maybe i'll try doin some textiles tonight or graphics :) dunno gotta get some revision done and have a look at future careers apparently :/



anyways thats it for now

laterz xx
love you baby xxx

Wednesday 4 November 2009

SCOTT ILY

Well today has possible been the best day i could've wished for. well since about 6pm onwards anyways.

i'm so happy that we're back together :D

well maybe now i'll be able to sort out my school work and get it back on track :)

i know one things for sure my sister will be very pleased that she's got her laptop...

well i'm off to make sure he stays mine forever

laterz xx
i love you so much xxxxx

i can't believe what i've done

i know that what i have done has ruined everything, i still love him and wish i was still with him, i wish i could tell him. i thought i'd be able to move on and be with someone else but i can't all i do is think about him and how i feel about him. if i could do anything to have him back i would, ever since i ended it i have regretted it. i havent bin able to stop listening to our song, all i need to know is that he feels the same and maybe we can be together again. all i want is for him and me to be together again what we had i'll never have with anyone else.

apart from that, i have managed to get behind on my coursework coz all i have done is think about him

gettin my hair sorted on saturday :D goin to my auntie and uncles to sort out the holiday for next year :) then sunday buying new clothes for my birthday present :D i love my parents :)

i dont know what i'd of done with out the girls the last couple of days and i'm glad they've made me realize what i need and thats him, i sed to them if he's found someone else i'll be able to wait and i will.

laterz xx
i love you just hope you feel the same....

Monday 2 November 2009

:(

i wish things could be different to how they are. maybe if i could go back and change everything i would, its just things werent working as they were so its better that scott has a chance to be wiv someone else than wiv me and i'm not able to make him happy or i end up doin somethin i regret.

dont realli know if i want to go on saturday :/ cinema with another guy..... but he realli make me happy and has bin there for me the last week when scott wasnt able to and i'm realli glad he was;:)

i want to move on and hopefully i can, i hope everything goes well for him and he can find someone else.


laterz xx

Saturday 31 October 2009

Christmas songsss

had a good day today lstening to all of the old christmas songs :) i know its early but i felt the need for some christmas music :)

bin out all day then spent 2 hours doin coursework, i actually think i wont be able to look at another physics book in my life :o then i decided i'd do and hour of graphics which has turned into a lot more :(

my sister got some of her presents early; and was allowed to open them :O, a laptop and some wine wish they were mine :P the meal tomoz should be good though would be better if crazy but cute was there :)

well haven't bin able to write anything today but i'll do some later (fingers crossed)

my birthday is soon but still haven't got anything that i really want :/ so it'll be surprises all round :)

laterz xx
love you babe xxx

Friday 30 October 2009

SCOTT

i never thought that one i would be wiv an arsenal supporter (sorry you had it comin after you sed the same bout me :P)
but never a guy that has done ballroom, tap and cheerleading but now plays football. I guess people change :)

and i'm deffinately looking forward to that candle lit dinner you've promised me :)

well sometime people can be realli decieving theres brians in there as well, quite impressive :P

well i'm glad he's like that because he's mine and always will be.

he deffinately has a good taste in films :)

he's made me feel so much better :D
i love talkin to him

laterz xx
love you (thats for him :P) xxx

i havent felt this ill in like forever :(

well after last night i dont think i have ever had a night where i have had less sleep all because of being ill :(, i wish i could get rid of this headache....

i was listening to the soldiers today actually some quite good music and got me thinking and i ended up writing some more poems :) there agen listening to music and thinking bout him is normally where i get my ideas from :D



when we are together no words need to be said
no words need to be said
whenever you are near
all the small things just disappear
i am glad that you have found me
because together i know we are meant to be

- us

everytime i'm confused
you help me figure everything out
because of you, i know the true meaning
the simple words that make everything alright
whether i cry all night
all i need is those words
and i know i'll make it through

-the words you speak

if i could have one wish
i wouldnt ask for money
i wouldnt ask for the lastest label
i wouldnt ask for a fast car
i wouldnt ask for diamonds

if i could have one wish
i would ask for one day with you
i would ask for you love
i would ask to know how you really feel
i would ask to not have to let you go

-wishing on a star

walking hand in hand
strolling side by side
i stare into your eyes
met by your longing gaze
it's a feeling you can't miss
greeted by your kiss
just to be with you
is all i'd ever want to do

- a feeling no one can miss

the things we do together
will stay in my mind forever
the trust we share
no one can compare

i'll stick by you
in whatever you do
i know life can be tough
but i hope that i can be there for you enough

- together

one thing i know
is that you mean everything to me
i wish i could
tell the world
what you mean to me

i would do anything for you
take a star from the sky if you asked me too
talking till the morning light
holding each other tight

-you mean to me

some say heavens not real
but i've found mine and it's in you
you stollen my heart
now we cant be apart
your truly something special sent to me
you'll always have my heart
we'll never fall apart

-my heaven

take me in you arms
away from all harm
pull me into you chest
this is my only request
when i'm down
you always find away to be around
you whisper words of reassurance
it's becoming a common occurrence
your words pull me through
all the time so true
i long for the day i'm there for you
and all you go through

-guiding me


those are the ones that are finished :)

maybe one day i could find my proffession in poetry :P

10 days till i'm 16 :D i'm so excited but i dont know what i'm gettin off of anyone and i normally get it out of someone by now :(

well thats all i have to say other than,

I love him :)
and i feel really ill :(
but the first one makes the other not matter :D

laterz xx

Thursday 29 October 2009

bin one of them days :(

i dunno why but today has just dragged on, it seems like its bin forever since this morning.

i managed to drag myself out of the house and go for a run, do some speed skipping and 100 sit ups and 100 push ups. It helped me clear my head :)

i dunno why but i can't stop writing stuff about scott, it's like the words just write themselves.

I'm stuck on you
i'm falling i love
with everything you do
i want it to be you and me
forever and always
it's the way it should be
we're together forever
i never want to let you go
this i want you to know
don't walk in front of me, i may not follow
don't walk behind me, i may not lead
just walk beside me, and be all that i need
without you my heart is left without a beat
without you in my arms my life is incomplete
i want to be the smile you put on your face
the girl you hold in your embrace
just don't ever leave or walk away
this may seem clicke
but i love you forever and always

- forever and always


i've spent all day writing, but i think thats one of the best :D

i dunno why but my head seems to of filled itself up with everything bad from the past, and everything seems to be bringing itself up for some reason and i realli wish it wouldnt


anyways thats it

laterz xx

Another one :)

Whenever you need me
i'll be wherever you want me to be
our lve means so much
built on unconditional trust
impossible to mistake
our special love built to last forever

-something special

I wanna hold your hand
be the one to guide you through
i don't want anyone else
to share all the smiles and tears
to hold me forever
because i know that we belong together

-together forever

we haven't known each other long
although that doesn't mean
we wouldn't know
each other through and through

take my hand
and show me your love firsthand
kiss my lips
no need to follow a script
your touch so gentle
every moment so sentimental

-knowing you



Well i didn't write anything yesterday so i thought i'd make up for it (happy now??)

Well yeah i didn't really do anything yesterday other than talk to scott and write more poems and lyrics

Everything is all sorted for my big sis's birthday :) and i still aint decided what i would like for my birthday :/.... 11 days


laterz xx

Tuesday 27 October 2009

SCOTT :)

everytime i hear your voice
i know i made the right choice
writing my first name with your last making me your mrs
everday i long for one of your kisses
you light up my life when things get dark
our fingers intertwined strolling around the park
if they day turns into night i'll love you by candlelight
just promise me this, never to fight
you're my world
when our eyes met i knew my heart was sold
together we can be a teen love story with a happy ending
because when i'm with you my heart doesn't need mending
whoever said dreams don't come true
hasn't seen me with you

- meant to be

I wrote that :D i was realli proud of myself :P until i realized that some of it didnt fit so i had to re write it now is sounds ok when you say it. I got the idea of it from a song but yeah....

I can't believe he read it :/ i give in too easily to him.

Well so far i have had successfull day at practicing my guitar, keyboard and avoiding my revision :)

....At last she's okay :D

Lmao at my mother bless her :p i love her crippledness and the fact that we have all these wierd contraptions in out house, first the chair for when your in the kitchen, then the bathroom frame thing, next apparently its the knife thats like a saw, lol

well less than two weeks till my birthday :D and my mum and dad refuse to buy me a new electric guitar :( on the upside my sis's birthday meal is all sorted and we are gettin hellium balloons :D

well thats it,

Laterz xx

Sunday 25 October 2009

here's to teen love and not knowing why it hurts like hell

well, things go good then he screws up, why do i have to forgive him... i hope he doesnt go it again there isn't anyway i can go through it again.
i cant take someone else lying to me, least of all you.
scott you got me again, you've deffinately got me good

i managed to get my sister's 18th birthday present... at last :/

well i've managed to make some plans for once :P my social life is terrible its mainly made up of decisions on the spur of the moment, i never make plans, guess theres a first time for everything. firework/ bonfire thing wiv my mates.

some how i think somewhere in the last couple weeks i've got closer to my mum again. not the same as before but gettin there...

other than that i haven't got much else to say

laterz xx

Friday 23 October 2009

NEWSFLASH

i wish scott could have his arms around me, even that would make things seem at least okay.

Well at least hannah's fireworks thing should be good, two days before my birthday... hopefully the whole house arrest idea will be forgotten by then...

Half term, was meant to be time for me and scott although seeing as my parents are against that idea and expect me to revise for these mock exams for college.. somehow i dont think that will happen.

i need him here with me, maybe hear his voice??

why do coursework days go really quickly but they are soo boring it's insane? i still have half of my physics coursework to do :/ oh well i'll get round to it sometime soon....

well half term here i come :D

laterz xx

Thursday 22 October 2009

Teenage love affair :)

I wish love could be easier especialy when your family doesn't help. Scott is at it again he just knows when i need someone to pick me up, i just wish he didn't have his spanish exchange student so we could talk properly.

Well there's so much to look forward to half term is coming up and big sis's surpriss party is well i don't think there is much planning going on to be honest well it's either that or it's gonna be a surprise for everyone else too :/

I'm glad I have claudia and molly to get me through today I really thought it was going to be over between me and crazy but cute but I guess we just got stronger :) he really does surprise me sometimes. At least I've got the girlz to keep my head up when there's days like to day :D

Maybe after seeing milly attempted at braiding hayley's hair i should get her to do mine, nah better off paying for it or i'll end up wiv some kind of notting mangles mess :/ that wouldn't be great seeing as my birthday is in less than 3 weeks :D but unlike most years i dont have a majorly long wishlist because i'm happy and i've got everything that i need right here.

well looks like it's another night of revision

laterz xx

Tuesday 20 October 2009

how does he do it

Scott has done it again, everytime i think we're just drifting apart he says something and it makes me realize that everything he is is everything I want. :)

18 crikey, big sis deffinately IS big sis. But i'm still stuck with what i'm goin to get her :/ maybe it will have to be the toothbrush that i very much promised her :P. Well there's always the beloved vouchers chosen with every bit the care, love and affection. Well maybe the male escort would be the way to go, at least then she'd get a bit of fun out of it.

Why can't I get through this without wanting to text him, I guess he has just about taken over all but every part of me.

I can't believe how powerful spoken word poetry is, I always used to think of it like rap and people just saying a poem to music, but some people don't even say their pieces to music. My attempt at it was deffinately a big FAIL but i'm not going to give up, i've decided i want my poetry to be heard even if this is going to take some time at developing the skill i need to say all the passion of the words. whoever said teenagers can't put some good out never met me. HA! well i'll try my best i'm sure i can get my message across :/

Well i got back my epic fail of chemistry coursework, i don't get how brains does it i mean she's so clever how can she associate herself with me :/ another A* for her to add to the record and another C for me and a note for improvement (bit late for that now eh miss)

Laterz xx

Monday 19 October 2009

I didn't think that this would happen....

How have I managed the last couple of days, I mean I know using £45 of credit in less than 2 weeks is quite unbelieveable but now that I haven't had any credit for the last couple of days I've actually realised how much I rely on my phone: from texting my boyfriend (and that is acceptable seeing as he lives nearly 3 hours away); making sure I know what i'm doin in my coursework; keeping upto date with all of the gossip (it's an absolute necessity for a girl; and just making sure I know what time I have to be at work. Thats not to mention saying happy birthday to people. Thats another thing I never realized how many peoples birthday's there are in October.

I don't get how my parents can say that he isn't what I want, he's everything that I want, crazy but cute he maybe but he is still everything and more than what I've ever wanted. For one I know he cares about me, deffinately way more than anyother guy has cared about me, thats got to be a good thing for starters. Another thing I don't think I can say I have actually cared about anyone else this much before.

Anyways there's a big pile of coursewrok with my name on it,

Laterz xx