Snow

It snowed today, it’s supposed to snow tomorrow but I doubt it, very much.

Had an average day at college, managed to damage my other knee and get the massive urge to have a go at someone.

I saw I different side to someone that I don’t know if it’s something I like.

Got a really long day at college tomorrow I’m not looking forward to it. All for two lessons, one at the beginning of the day and one at the end, not fun.

Bout it really

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Christmas Time

Well all in all today has been pretty good.

Went shopping this morning and actually it was pretty funny, I know how can shopping for food be funny? Well to be honest I don’t know but with my parents that is possible. Seeing as it is the first of December this week we had to get advent calendars this must be one of the best parts of Christmas in my mind, I pick a different one every year and this year it’s the turn of Thomas the Tank, yeah I know I’m a girl but I’ve had all the others so....

I’ve caught up on my college work, which is quite an achievement considering how much of it there was. I’ve just got to keep going over some of it for my politics test tomorrow, which I’m not really looking forward to. I’ve only just realised that Scott’s name is doodled a lot through all my college notebooks.

Unlike last year I’m really looking forward to Christmas this year. I don’t know why, maybe because it feels really close and this year feels like its gone so fast and the fact that I’m hopefully going to be seeing Scott. I’ve been putting off writing Scott’s Christmas for the last two weeks so I decided to write it today and because I couldn’t decide on what to put in it I came up with a way of writing everything I wanted to. I’ve done all of my Christmas shopping too, but I’ve just got to order the last part of Scott’s which I had done but it had sold out so now I need to re-order it. But I’m going shopping with my sister again next Sunday because she needs my help because I’m good at picking presents for people. I love the Christmas feeling, and New Year is straight afterwards which is great because there is always a party or something to do is a busy time of year and I love it. But there is something that I don’t have and that’s Scott if he was here it would be a million times better.

Got a proper roast dinner tonight, I haven’t had one in ages.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxxx

I want some snow

Well I didn’t write anything yesterday purely because nothing really happened.

It seems that it’s snowing everywhere else BUT here. Sucks! But, we should be getting some soon.

Now that everyone is talking about snow and Christmas I’ve just realised how close it actually is, and to be honest I’m glad I’ve got most of my Christmas shopping done, I just need to order the last present for Scott that I keep not ordering and then I’m done. I’ve only got three weeks left of college until the Christmas holidays and I’m pretty sure that will go quite fast. Staying with Scott still needs to be sorted but that should be done soon.

Today is going to be shopping, and college work I’ve got a whole stack of it to get through.

On the upside me parents seem to of stopped arguing and everything else seems to be going pretty good at the moment, apart from the lack of snow.

My Dad thinks me and Scott should move in together apparently that will free up our internet connection. I don’t think it’s a bad idea to be honest.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

TGIF

One thing goes wrong then another then another that’s how this week has been really

Firstly our main computer broke, meaning we thought we had lost everything, all of my coursework, photos videos... but we managed to recover the hard drive so that was alright.

Secondly my parents are doing nothing but arguing and last night my dad told my if it wasn’t for me, my sister and brother he would have left a long time ago.

I haven’t really felt like I’ve spoken to Scott much at all this week. That’s probably down to me because I've been taking a lot out on him lately. We’ve been talking about seeing each other at Christmas but I don’t know it that will happen yet because we haven’t sorted it out, but I guess there is quite a while to go.

Had a pretty good day at college, I know what subject I want to drop at the end of the year.

I have a good idea of what I want to do at university now as well.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

A month to do christmas shopping left... I've finished already

Well today has been pretty good really, there isn't really a reason why just is a good day.

Another long media assinment has been set and Shona and Becka were jealous because I'm working with Adil and they think he's fit. I wasn't that fussed who I worked with to be honest, but Adil is quite funny so it could be quite interesting doing a presentation with him.

Ict was cut short because my teacher had to leave early so my college day was extra short.

Had quite a good free with Cat and Abbey as well.

Been home and not done very much...

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

Time goes so fast

Well seeing as next week is the first of December it’s about time I got into the Christmas spirit, so I have the glee Christmas song, playing now.

I said waaaay earlier in the year I was writing a story and I’ve finally got round to actually writing it after coming across the plan.

Today hasn’t been that exciting. Well I have been in a good mood which is pretty exciting after the last few days as I seem to have been in ones of those moods where I get annoyed at the littlest things.

I have started talking an old friend who used to go to the same school as me, Simon, he’s 20 now, he even lives in the same village as me but we never see each other. It was pretty good to catch up. It’s been ages since we’ve spoken; it’s crazy how much time has passed.

I only had one lesson at college today because politics was cancelled, I love how that can happen at college. So I spent a lot of today doing nothing. Had a two pretty good free one with, Matt, Andy and Georgina and one with Lizzie and Cat later.

Oh yeah and it looks like I will probably be going to the Christmas ball, me and Milly have agreed to go together but we might recruit some more people yet.

Not really spoken to Scott again today...

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

another average day

Hmm today has been both good and bad, good because I have had quite a good day with my mates at college, bad because I’ve been over thinking a few things.

Well there has been several good things about today the banter with Lizzie and the banter with Shona seriously mine and Shona’s banter in media is first class shame Cigdem moved me seriously what was she thinking...

I’ve only got one lesson tomorrow which makes going in to college feel really pointless. But I’ve got to go in because I don’t want to miss any more lessons.

Our Christmas ball has started to be advertised I’m not sure if I want to go though because I don’t know if my mates are going and two because it would involve shopping for a new dress and look how much effort that took for me to choose my prom dress. But I think it would be good to go especially as there are still loads of people that I haven’t met a college.

Well I haven’t really been able to talk to Scott properly today but it is his sister’s birthday so it is understandable. But all we ever seem to be talking about at the moment is our plans for Christmas don’t get me wrong I am looking forward to it and them but it would be nice for what we talk about to not have to revolve around them all the time, something about the fact he’s talked about it with his mates makes me feel a bit... as well, but I guess that’s just me being stupid.

I’m going to apply for my college student council I want to be the entertainment officer, so I need to do the application for it and then get people to vote for me, sounds simple but it’s not.

Oh yeah and our computer still hasn’t been fixed.

I guess out of 10 today has been a 7.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

the future is a scary thing

I can’t wait till I’m 18 I really can’t. I know I’ve only just turned 17 but 18 is when I can really start to do the things I want to do.

Our main computer has broken today, this is a really and I mean really bad thing. One all my photos and music are on it and I don’t want to lose them. Two my college work is stored on there I know I’m not enjoying college and at times I don’t want to be there but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be there and I think today has proven that to me. I actually really want to get good grades at college because I really want to be able to go to university.

I have worked out roughly what career I want to end up in too, hopefully in the uniformed services so the police, fire service or the army. I can’t be a paramedic because I haven’t got the science grades. It’s really competitive to get into any of them though. Most of my friends and family don’t want me to join the army and I can see why but that wouldn’t be my first choice anyways. My first choice would be to join fire service followed by the police force, because I want to help people and I think this will be the best way of doing this. I know these jobs aren’t danger free and I understand that but this is something I really want and I haven’t been into a career path this much before.

I’ve seriously got to put some work into college now though, to be able to achieve it.

Although there will be something I won’t be able to do that I’ve always wanted to if I go down this career path, and that’s to get a tattoo. But I can put up with not doing that so I can get in.

Hopefully at Christmas I can see Scott, well we’re planning on seeing each other anyways. I really hope it happens because I miss him so much.

I have a huge mountain of college work to get through but I can’t bring myself to do it, oh well I’m going to have to get it done.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy…

Okay so I woke up in one of those moods this morning were I wasn’t either happy or sad.

Had one of those conversations with Scott about me not opening up to him but it’s not a case of I don’t want to it’s a case of I find it hard to open up to anyone it’s not just him. I know I should be able to but I just find it really hard to, I hate putting my problems on other people. I know he just wants to be there for me but he has his own stuff to deal with so I don’t want him to be worrying about me. It’s stupid I know but that’s how I feel.

I swear today it’s been cold enough for it to snow. It’s that kind of weather when you just want to watch a film in bed...

Spent some of today talking to people and their plans with their boyfriends the little things that I wish I was able to do with Scott, and all the time I’ve hardly spoken to Scott because he was playing football and he isn’t supposed to be doing it.

I’ve spoken quite a bit to Louis the last couple of days too. I know I was surprised when he started talking to me but I don’t see the point in holding grudges and all of that yeah he treated me badly but we’re not in that situation anymore.

People keep saying I should keep some distance between me and Scott and not get so close to him in case he does what Louis did but honestly I don’t think Scott would use me like that. Just like when people say how do you know he isn’t cheating on you because you don’t see him?

I’ve pretty much wasted the day today; I haven’t done anything, no college work or anything... I just haven’t had the motivation to do anything literally. I can’t wait for the holidays already just to get away from college for a couple of weeks and not have all of this work to do, and to get away from some of the people.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Things always happen at the worse times

Today has been that exciting to be honest nothing really major happened.

I was supposed to go into college for one lesson but didn’t because I felt really ill so I decided to stay at home.

It’s been a day when all I wanted to do this evening is sit down and talk to Scott but I’m not going to be able to do that because he’s going to see a film, I hope he has a good time though. In some ways that makes even more stuff go on in my head than there already is because of what people said the last time he went to the cinema, I know, I know  I shouldn’t think like that but I can’t help it.

I feel ill, heard some more stuff that I didn’t need to hear but you know that’s life I haven’t told Scott about it because he has his own stuff to deal with and I don’t want to put this on him as well.

Seeing as I’m not going to be talking to Scott, dinner then dvd in bed I think.

Why do people make things so difficult, why do people put things in your head? It’s stuff I really don’t think is even possible but once someone says it I start over thinking it and then it all starts becoming believable.

Hmmm too many things going on in my head right now...

I really really really hate it when people put things in my head, it really plays with my mind and makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

You Lost Me

Well today was really productive... not.

Tried looking for more jobs but no didn’t get anything, but there again that isn’t very surprising is it? I’ve applied for loads of them but no one has got back to me, it really makes me think what’s the point.

I’ve seen another couple break up today; I really hope that doesn’t happen to me and Scott.

I heard quite a lot about my ex today a lot of stuff that I didn’t want to hear. I’m am really over me and him but when you hear stuff about someone who was supposed to care for you at one point then find out that because I refused to sleep with him he went and slept with someone else well several other people you just don’t expect it. It just makes you feel stupid. Oh yeah and I feel sorry for the 14 year old girl he tried to have sex with when he’s 18, it’s a good job she was able to stand up for herself. It shouldn’t get to me but it does in a way I don’t know why I was over him and me a long time I just don’t like getting taken for a mug. If i wasn’t already through with him we definitely would be through now!

I’m just really glad I have Scott.

I’m not in college tomorrow.

Other than that it’s been another average day.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

If this were a movie

I only had two lessons at college today, so that was alright. Even if I was stood in the cold for half an hour waiting for my sister to pick me up.

Nothing really amazing happened today other than that and that wasn’t that great.

I had an interesting conversation with Kia though about relationships.

Part of Scott’s Christmas present arrived today this is the part that I thought would take ages to come. But it’s wrapped already so I only need to wait for the other part to arrive so I can wrap that then it’s all done.

I’m building up a long list of jobs to apply for tomorrow on my day off and phone numbers to ring. Let’s hope something comes out of it because I really need a job! I’ve applied for loads but no one has come back to me yet so...

And I have a whole pile of college work to get through tomorrow so, I need to do that too.

Looks like tomorrow should be fun... NOT.

I miss Scott so much. I hope I can see him at Christmas because being with him is really amazing and I just want to see him. I really am lucky to have Scott. I never thought I would have anyone as amazing as him.

I’m starting to get over my bad mood from yesterday... slowly. But it is happening, I think it’s because I’m so tired all the time at the moment it’s just making me feel all....

Later xo

Love you xxx

Messy little raindrops

I hate hearing other people’s problems, don’t they get that some people actually have their own and don’t need to hear about it, I don’t want to and I don’t need to. I know I’m selfish.

The other thing I don’t need is to hear about what people are planning to do with their boyfriends where they’re going what they’re doing, I don’t care. Yes this has got to do with the fact my boyfriend lives over four hours away and I can’t see him and be with him when I want. I don’t care how selfish I sound I really don’t care. Mainly because I wish I could be with my boyfriend like that, but I can’t and today I don’t know I think I realised how much I really do miss him. Especially now, when everyone is organising all the Christmas stuff and say bring your boyfriend... yeah I wish I could but he lives four hours away so that’s kind of a bit hard. Then I’m going to have to deal with all the couples so ermm I think I’ll spend Christmas away from all of that and on my own, yeah that’s are really good idea I like that idea a lot. I’m going to cut myself off from all that good Christmas stuff and just stay at home and do some college work or something.

No I can’t even do that at the moment something just doesn’t feel like I fit in there either every day I wake up and think why am I even bothering it’s not even as though I’ll get into a university. So why am I even at college? I get on with people there I guess that’s probably why if i didn’t have people that I got on with there I wouldn’t be there anymore.

But I don’t say this to anyone because I don’t think it’s fair to dump all my stuff on other people when they’re dealing with their own problems.

Half a day at college tomorrow, then a day off then a half day again.

I’ve spent my frees at college looking for part time weekend jobs and found some to apply for I really hope something turns into a job soon because I’m fed up of not having any money.

I don’t want to lose Scott, and I’m worried I will. I’m different from most girls. And I’m scared that he will eventually start to hate it, like everyone else I’ve been with has. I’m scared he will get bored of the distance. I’m scared he will find someone else. I'm scared he will end up thinking I'm a part-time girlfriend and get bored of only seeing me in the holidays. But I can’t tell him this because he has too much other stuff going on, I don’t want him to have to deal with me being like this I need to be there for him, but I can't be because I'm not with him I can't be there and tell him things will get better because we have this stupid distance between us. He's the first guy I've really opened up to, I don't want to lose him. He's the first guy to treat me as a person and not an object. He's the only person who has truly made me happy. I don't want to lose that... ever.

Right I’ve empty my head out in a messy kind of way but that’s how my head feels right now, so it fits I guess.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

I'm just another thing for you to roll your eyes at hunny

Today has been pretty good. Well no actually it been amazing.

Did a little bit of training this morning, then I waited for the bus in the freezing cold.

Then the good part of the day started.

Went to Costa with Lizzie, Cat and Shannen, had a bit of laugh about how hungry I was... as usual.

Then I had ICT with Joe, Matt and Kirsty which was hilarious.

Shirley (teacher): What is that?
Kirsty: Italy

That was possibly the funniest thing that I’ve ever heard, Kirsty was looking at a map of Italy on Google.

But there again our ICT lessons are always really good just because of Joe and Matt and Kirsty and our funny conversations.

Politics was as boring as usual but Mark made it more interesting.

Lizzie and Cat at lunch was sooo funny especially Lizzie’s phone
conversation to her mum.

Then media well, media is just generally funny anyway, it’s a shame that we’ve finished all of the practical stuff. But me and Shona managed to make it really fun and Jack, Jake and Alex also contributed as usual. It was soo funny when me and Shona had to work in pairs, and we just sat there winding each other up. I WON.

PLUS Jordan was pretty funny too today him and me with our most hugs contest yes we are 17 and yes we are that cool. I WON.

Can’t wait to see Scott again, I miss him so much.

Laterz xo
Love you xxxx

Training, shopping and christmas...YES CHRISTMAS

I haven’t blogged for a while but to be honest there isn’t much for me to write about.

Planning for the summer is going pretty well and started training today nice little bike ride was good until I got of the bike and couldn’t walk because my legs felt weird...

Then I got home and went back out to town to go shopping with my sister, I am quite impressed as I have now finished all my Christmas shopping. Scott is done, my mum is done, my dad is done, my sister is done, and my brother is done! Although I have to wait for part of Scott’s to come. Plus I bought myself some pretty cool stuff today, got some new VW camper vans to add to my collection, it is growing, this time it was 2 little model ones and they were green which was a bonus! I did spend quite a while looking at the really expensive ones but they were REALLY expensive.

Other than that lately I haven’t done much, but Christmas really feels like it is coming now just under 6 weeks away and 5 weeks till the holidays start. It won’t be too long until people start putting up their decorations.

Laterz oxo
Love you xxxx

Things really aren’t that bad

Right yesterday I made my day out to be worse than it actually was.

I got some really nice presents from everyone, my mum and dad gave me some money, my sister got me a bracelet and a new necklace because I’d been complaining about the ‘S’ I normally wear, my brother got me the new Dawn French book it’s really good and Scott got me some earrings and some chocolate. So really that was more than I deserved.

Once I got to college Cat had made me a cake, Shannen had bought me some Thornton’s chocolates and Lizzie had bought me some heroes and some cakes.

I know it was really bad to be in college all day but it was good to spend it with my mates rather than doing nothing at home.

Plus I got to have a nice long conversation with Scott on the phone, which we seem to be having more at the moment, which is a really good thing. And Scott managed to put a smile back on my face at the end of the day when I started to think my birthday had been really bad but he showed me it hadn’t been that bad and managed to cheer me up.

Today I’ve been off college with a cold and generally feeling rubbish. But I’ll be back in tomorrow.

I have a shopping trip planned with my sister for Sunday, so I’ll be doing some Christmas shopping then. I know what I’m getting most people so it should be pretty simple.

I had an idea about what I want to do for charity; it is possible because quite a few people have done it before although it will be quite a physical challenge. If I can organise it for this summer I’m going to do it if not I’ll do it the summer after. Now you’re probably wondering what I want to do, I hoping to cycle from John O’Groats to Land’s End. It will be basically the blue line on this map:

Although there is a lot of planning to do, and I’ll have to do a lot of fitness stuff, work out the charity I want to do it for although I do have an idea for that and get sponsors and stuff so there is a lot to be organised. But I definitely want to do this.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Just a day like anyother

Well I’m officially 17 today, although it doesn’t really feel like anything has changed.

Yeah I’ve had some really great presents and parts of my day have been good but all in all my day has been pretty shit.

And the best thing, I’m doing nothing to celebrate my birthday.

It’s great, not.

Laterz xo

Love you xx

It’s amazing what you find out when people aren’t looking

Slight crisis last night... I won’t go into too much detail but I ended up bleeding and it wouldn’t stop and yeah it was a bit... but I’m fine now. It hurt... ALOT.

I’ve been over thinking a few things today.

My birthday is in two day, and the little excitement that I had I have lost. I’m not doing anything for it and it’s just going to feel like any other day, so there isn’t anything to look forward to anyways.

To be honest there isn’t a lot more to say about today it’s been a normal day really; I slept for two hours in the middle of it because I feel overly tired at the moment.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Headache :(

So I was going to go to Hannah’s for a bonfire, but I feel really ill, my head is spinning, why do I always get ill when I’m off college?

Today is 7 months for me and my baby, I didn’t think we would get this far after all we’ve been through before but we are here and I couldn’t be happier right now.

We’re having a roast dinner a day early; my family is cool like that.

All in all my day has been pretty boring. And headache filled.

I’m slowly getting excited for my birthday even though there is nothing to look forward to.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Tumblr

I have started using tumblr :

http://anordinarygirlinanordinaryworld.tumblr.com/

Follow me if you have it, I may update that more regularly than this... maybe

Laterz xo

Right, I’m not bored at all, second blog of the day...

Not spoken to Scott much at all today, I’m in a really bad mood now and I don’t even know why. SUCKS, BIG TIME.

I need to tone up again.

I was going to have an early night and watch some dvd’s but I can’t find anything to watch and it doesn’t feel the same watching a film without Scott.

I need something or someone to get me out of this weird mood I was fine till I got home from college. I hate this mood.

I’m not even excited about my birthday on Tuesday, I’ve not got any plans, I’m at college and it’s just going to be like any other day. GREAT

And my aunty has to have an operation, so that’s not too great either.

I really want to talk to Scott but he’s busy at his party. I really don't want to lose him, at the moment I'm distracting myself from all of this stuff by looking for his christmas present I really want to find something special for him that he can keep, but also something that he will really like.

I need a good hug.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

Getting tired

Today has been interesting, but it’s Friday and yes that means an early night with some dvds. I don’t care that it’s a Friday night and I don’t care that its firework night, I want an early night.

I’ve got some plans made for the next few weeks. Which should be pretty good to be able to see some old friends again.

Haven’t really spoken to Scott much today.

Had a laugh today with Matt, Milly and Hannah at lunch.

All in all today has been pretty good, minus the not talking to Scott part.
Got some new music as well...

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Really Good Day

Seriously good day today,

everything is sorted with Scott, at least I think so.

College was really good today.

Started planning Scott's Christmas present.

My birthday in 5 days.

Got some plans with some old friends from school too, CAN'T WAIT!!

Things are pretty good at the moment!

Laterz xo
Love you xxxx

Something good has to happen soon

And the bad mood sets in...

Errggghh today really hasn’t been a good day at all.

What is it with people and trying to split me and Scott up I really don’t get it.

The job search is coming up with a big fat zero.

And I probably failed my politics test the other day.

Oh yeah, and my cousin got beaten up.

So you know everything is really good.

You can’t really get sarcasm when something is written down.

Oh yeah and on top of everything I’m really tired.

There’s so much to get my head round.

But on the upside I spoke to a friend I haven’t spoken to in a while which has been good.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

This is life

There hasn’t been much happening the last few days, been to college the usual...

Oh yeah, I found out someone else wants my boyfriend. GREAT! Not.... I’m really worried about him, he keeps shutting me out and not opening up to me, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

I’ve been filling in job application forms, one after the other hopefully one of them comes to something, I really need a job to pay for driving lessons, a week today I can get behind the wheel. I really can’t wait.

Oh yeah me and Cat wound Shannen up today which was pretty funny. Especially prank calling her and pretending to be Debbenhams interviewing her.

I headbutted the floor yesterday as well, that really hurt. I was playing with my dog and just wacked my face on the floor, my nose is now bruised... Not a good look.

Not much else to say.

Laterz xo
Love you xx