Short But Sweet

I’m really tired so I’m going to try and keep this post really short.

I’m really worried about Scott as his concussion hasn’t really gone from the weekend and I can’t do anything to help him, I wish there was more I could do but there isn’t. I feel basically useless.

Today has been a fairly busy day, had every single lesson but managed to clear a few things up. I collected the pink form I’ve been waiting for for a few days and filled it in, just need to hand it in tomorrow, I’m applying to be a student mentor.

Life is just really crazy at the moment and I’m starting my own little project which has plenty of ways for it to expand but I’ll tell you all more about that some other time.

I just feel absolutely shattered, at college all day tomorrow but I have two frees so it’s not all bad.

- OVER AND OUT -

Right, I’m not bored at all, second blog of the day...

Not spoken to Scott much at all today, I’m in a really bad mood now and I don’t even know why. SUCKS, BIG TIME.

I need to tone up again.

I was going to have an early night and watch some dvd’s but I can’t find anything to watch and it doesn’t feel the same watching a film without Scott.

I need something or someone to get me out of this weird mood I was fine till I got home from college. I hate this mood.

I’m not even excited about my birthday on Tuesday, I’ve not got any plans, I’m at college and it’s just going to be like any other day. GREAT

And my aunty has to have an operation, so that’s not too great either.

I really want to talk to Scott but he’s busy at his party. I really don't want to lose him, at the moment I'm distracting myself from all of this stuff by looking for his christmas present I really want to find something special for him that he can keep, but also something that he will really like.

I need a good hug.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

Really Good Day

Seriously good day today,

everything is sorted with Scott, at least I think so.

College was really good today.

Started planning Scott's Christmas present.

My birthday in 5 days.

Got some plans with some old friends from school too, CAN'T WAIT!!

Things are pretty good at the moment!

Laterz xo
Love you xxxx

Shut Up & Kiss Me

If I’m honest I haven’t really done anything today.

I fixed my phone though I was quite proud of myself!

I feel like I’ve hardly spoken to Scott today I was hoping we could talk properly because we don't really seem to talk much lately. On the upside I’m seeing him tomorrow. That feels kind of weird to be able to say that but really good at the same time! I can't wait to be with him again.

Most of today has been taken up looking for some new music and nothing else really.

I’m really tired and I’ve only just realised I’ve done like none of my work for college... oh well

There isn’t much else to write about

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Some songs I found today...

Just SMILE :)

Well, what can I say about today, eventful is probably the best word to describe it to be honest.

I woke up really early, my body wouldn’t let me stay in bed so I got up, BIG mistake really, once I logged onto all the millions of social networking sites I’m part of I flicked through all the stuff I’d been tagged in on facebook, another mistake! Scott had tagged me in a nice status saying that he loved me, what wasn’t so good about it was the comments beneath it saying that he had asked out other girls and is apparently a really big flirt, you can probably guess my reaction... I wasn’t happy to say the least.

I tried texting him and didn’t get a reply for ages, but when he did reply he denied it, and well even if it was true he would have denied it but to be honest there was something about what and how he said it that made me realise he actually did mean it. He is coming on Wednesday too so I can’t wait to get past all of today and wake up tomorrow a day closer to seeing him.

Ended up going to Tesco’s a usual part of my weekend but we didn’t go this weekend so as there is literally NO FOOD in our house we needed to get some stuff, I managed to persuade my mum to get another chocolate cake, BONUS and some mini chocolate éclairs DOUBLE BONUS, so it wasn’t a wasted trip.

This afternoon has been spent watching how to lose a guy in 10 days, I love that film. But it did get me thinking about what it is that really makes me fall for someone and how I like to be treated by a guy. Yes I have had a few boyfriends and obviously I’m with Scott at the moment and I hope to be for a very long time, but there have been boys who we can say didn’t really know how to treat me as their girlfriend.

Obviously there are all the obvious things too like showing your girlfriend off to your friends and not being ashamed of her but for me I find there are several things that really and I mean really annoy me...

I know this can sound really pathetic but if you want to go out with me just ask me, I mean seriously if someone drops hints that they want to be with me and flirts with me all the time don’t complain when I go with someone else by the time you get your act together. Another thing that annoys me is when a guy calls me fit, I mean fit? Really? Just don’t do it, if you’re talking about exercise and being fit that way then yes obviously it’s okay but not when you’re talking about looks, beautiful is the best compliment to use and gorgeous is also really good but NEVER fit.


One word texts to answer things I mean it’s not hard to expand a little is it? I mean obviously people can be busy but is it necessary to shorten every word down to two letters making me try to decipher what you were trying to get at.

Flirting with other girls and cheating is a BIG no, I mean flirting why bother when you can do it with the girl your with and cheating why are you with the girl if you want someone or something else, it’ll just break her heart at least have the guts to break up with her and tell her she isn’t what you want rather than letting her find out for herself.

I hate it when a guy only wants one thing seriously why do guys always think they can get what they want if they tell you your beautiful, trust me there is no way I’m going to jump into bed with you if I’ve only known you five minutes.

I love it when a guy puts in the effort and tries to do something nice and romantic it really means a lot, just something little like a text to wake up to or to say your thinking about her can mean the world to her.

Guys who actually talk about their feelings and not turn to someone else, part of the reason why a girl wants t be your girlfriend is because she wants to be there for you!! And it can work in the reverse too there are times when we want someone to talk to about how we feel it’s nice to know your actually there.

I hate and I mean I hate it when other people become par t of the relationship I mean the relationship is between two people so why is his ex-girlfriend joining in?

The biggest thing for me though is being treated as if I actually mean something to the person I am with because they always mean something to me otherwise I wouldn’t be with them.

Scott is great because he is everything I could ask for, obviously things aren’t perfect with our relationship, especially with the distance but he is always there for me and I couldn’t ask for more from him. The funniest thing is when people say we shouldn’t be together because of the distance; I mean why should that stop us being together.

There is loads of things I need to get sorted out, and getting a job is on top of that list especially as I am so close to being 17 and will be able to start driving. I can’t wait to be able to pass my test as it will mean I will be able to see Scott more which will be amazing!

The last few weeks I’ve been thinking about what I want to do when I leave college, I know I’ve only just started but it’s only two years away and if I’ve learnt anything time goes really fast, I’ve decided that I want to study something to do with the media at university. Hopefully I will be able to do it at Bournemouth, but I’m also looking at other universities in case I can’t get into Bournemouth but Bournemouth will definitely be my first choice although I have been looking at universities in America and they do look pretty good but I don’t want to be that far from my family.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Sundays, a day of rest for some... BUT not for me

Sunday, the day of rest. Not for me! Up at 7 and off to Snetterton.
I actually think I have found my new heaven! Car racing I never thought it could be so good to watch, I've seen 13 races today and about 1 or 2 spins or crashes in each one but I have to say the BRSCC Mighty Minis Championship is my favourite out of all of them especially when a woman YES a woman one her race she held first place from the beginning of the race, pretty impressive! I really want to go again, maybe even start racing myself.

I don’t know if I’ll be getting a car from my birthday anymore because I really want to get into some kind of racing now so I might try to see if they can maybe get me sort of started or something...
I haven’t really written about my new college friends or any of my college experiences yet so I thought as I have neglected my blog for quite a while I should fill you in.

Firstly there has been my short lived football season which lasted one match and two training sessions because of my knee, annoying but kind of glad especially as the work load is MASSIVE!!

Secondly I have sort of lost a friend but made several, the friend I have lost is Molly she seems to hate me for some reason but not really a big loss to be honest because she seems to think she is bigger and more important that=n everyone else anyways so... BUT more importantly the friends I have made, Shannen, Lizzie, Abbey are the main people I have met at college so far. Shannen is in my tutor and my politics class, she seems to have millions of stories, the world’s funniest laugh and a tea addiction. Lizzie I can’t really work out how I met her I think it’s because she know Cat and she also know Shannen somehow but she is also really funny, has a thing for horses and I spend most of my frees with her and Cat which we never really seem to get any work done in. Abbey, well what can I say about Abbey, she is ginger and well all ginger people are amazing in my books! These people and Cat, Milly and Hannah are the people who have so far made college amazing. Obviously I have met other people but these are the ones I spend all my free time with everyday.

I guess I should really say something about the lessons, well, they are really really good. Politics not as much as the other but it can be good especially when one of the debates get going! ICT is always really funny and so is Business. Media is also really funny at the moment we’re working on our first coursework piece and I got put in a group with three boys they are really funny but our work is also shaping up to be pretty good although Jake gets to have very little say as director...
So all in all college is GREAT!

Scott should be coming to stay on Wednesday until Saturday but I thought our parents were supposed to talk about since their first conversation but nothing really has happened but it is still happening... I think. It should be amazing to be able to see him again; I can’t believe he hasn’t seen Alvin and the Chipmunks, seriously? And he has the cheek to say I look like a chipmunk!

XFACTOR, seriously Cher, I don’t get why people like her so much? Treyc is amazing, so is Paije and Matt, don’t even get me started on the groups of this year, to put it simply they got rid of the good groups and shoved in all the manufactured rubbish.

Got loads of college work to get done over this half term, but its all stuff that I can do in little bits so it won’t take too long if I actually put in the effort and get it done. Plus I should be seeing Scott which will be amazing.

I’ve rambled on for too long today but I’m slowly getting back into all this blogging stuff!

Laterz xo
Love you xxxx

Baby take my open heart and all it offers, Cause this is as unconditional as it'll ever get

Raining and grey skies...GREAT!

But I did get to speak to my amazing boyfriend this morning! Although that was after I overslept and forgot to go online to speak to him, I feel so bad for that, but it did mean I got to hear his voice. Everything seems to finally be falling into place, I have my boyfriend back and this time I’m not questioning it but enjoying and appreciating having him by my side!

Last night I finally worked out what I wanted and now I know I’m never going to take him for granted! He means the world to me, and I really can’t live without him.

Today I’ve spent a while thinking about the future, and what I really want to do and achieve, I know that I want Scott to be a part of it and that I defiantly want to go to university and I know where I want to go.

I hopefully have a place at long road, studying media, business, politics and ICT. I need to get my grades at GCSE which I know I can do! I just need to push myself to get the final pieces of coursework done then I need to put together a revision timetable that I can stick to, because the one I’ve got at the moment I don’t stick to.

Then after college hopefully I can get a place at Bournemouth University studying media, that means a lot of hard work to get in but I really want to go to university. That’s a massive change from what I wanted last September but I’ve seen that you get out of life what you put into it, so if I work hard now I’ll be able to have a good future.

Today another dream I used to have came back and this is something I definitely want to work on. I used to want to play for England ladies football team, and Arsenal ladies but then I got injured playing and had to quit to take the strain off of my knee otherwise it wouldn’t heal properly, now that it has I’m going to work on getting my fitness back and finding a team.

I know I’m 16 why plan my life out but these are things that I definitely want to achieve, and are things that I can achieve if I put my mind to it.

I was really surprised I thought Louis would cause me more trouble but he’s just left me alone and done what I’ve asked him to, last night I cut every means of him talking to me off so he can’t cause any more trouble between me and Scott.

There’s something that I’ve left out the list of what I want out of the future, and that’s the part that includes Scott. Last night I was talking to Molly, (who used to hate me being with Scott but know she’s happy for us because we’re so happy together) and we ended up talking about Jamie (her boyfriend) and Scott it was weird, but good weird, because we were talking about our relationships and everything, I kept saying how this time we were going to work because this time I feel something that I haven’t felt about our relationship before, yes I’ve always loved Scott but there’s something different about us this time it feels right being together, but not just right, I feel like if me and Scott broke up then I would fall apart, I haven’t felt that way before, this time my feelings for him are definitely a lot stronger. That’s what lead on to the next part of the conversation and where it started to get scary, but good scary, and sort of puts where I see and want Scott to be in my future. We started talking about who we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with, and I know without any doubt that for me that person has to be Scott I couldn’t imagine having anyone else by my side, and then me and Molly started talking about marriage and everything, and for the first time in my life I can say without any hesitation that yes the distance is hard but it proves that what we feel about each other is strong because it can last with the distance in between us. Not many people’s relationships would work with how we do, but this makes me even more sure that Scott is the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with, how do I know that when I’m only 16, not many people go to bed at night smiling and wake up again smiling all because of one person, not many people, have someone who doesn’t give up on them and walk away when they do, not many people have what me and Scott have. It’s so scary to need someone so much when they could just walk away, but having Scott by my side makes me feel like I can do anything, I know I can turn to him if I need support, and I know that he’s always got me, there’s no running away when things get hard, I’m standing by him through everything, the good and the bad! No more letting people come between us and everything that we have, this is forever and nothing or no one will come in between that!

Love youuu xxxx

never let you go

I could be any happier, i've got my babyy back, and this time i'm not going to screw it up with scott, he means everything to me!!

I love you baby xx

nothing elose exciting has happened to day, so small blog today, i promise a long one for tomorrow!!

you dam near where my everything, and your still on my mind

Louis has been talkin to me the last few days and we're so close as mates i dont know whether goin out would ruin it.

I could either crush scott again or make him really happy, but i'm not entirely sure which is best.

life is hard, but i know i've gotta do what makes me happy, sod everyone else, selfish yeah but i'm not gonna be held in a situation where i'm not goin to be happy.

time to make a few decisions, i love louis, but care about scott, there's the difference, already, i dont want scott to get hurt but i want to spend alll my free time with louis, i guess i know my answer i just dont want to make the actions. I know over the time me and scott have become more like really close friends. But at least well i hope i know he'll always be there for me.

I know scott will find someone soon coz he's a really nice person, but he needs someone he can have a proper relationship with, i know he'll hurt but that'll go away.

i need to do what right for me, right now thats seeing how things go with louis...

that should be me holding your hand, that should be me making you laugh....

Bin in the car for 5 hours today, but it gave me a chance to think.

me and scott have drifted apart we're more like friends. Someone else likes him, maybe he should give it a go, i know she'd look after him and be good to him, she seems like a decent person.

Me and louis are close and are just seeing where it goes for now.

I love the seaside :) i'm such a child sometimes... the dodgems (i was waay good), fish and chips, ice creaaam, doughnuts, and the detour home...plus the woman asleep in the car beside us in the traffic jam was hilarious!!

Tomorrow down to coursework, not that i want too. But its gotta be donee

Convos with becka :D lol nad music sending funny tiimes

ONE MONTH

its gone so quick but we've bin together a month :) love you babe xxx
I couldn't imagine being with anyone else! Your everything and more than i could want or need, i love you so much. I'm going to be by your side for as long as you want me to be.

nothin much has happened today, so thats all i really wanted to post about...

LOVE YOU BABYY

All or nothing

sorry bout not posting yesterday my computer crashed :@

this will be a quick post coz i'm really tired :/

spent the whole of today thinking about us, and still not being 100% sure. louis decides to come back at the wrong times and tell me his feelings. They are so different...

I'm pleased for scott bout his football, shame bout getting injured.

GAAAHH why was the male species put on this earth???



I soooo totally want to learn that!

right bed...NOW....plus its the easter holidays!! AND AND i deffiantely got my first choice for camp.

Just an ordinary girl

I don’t normally do this on my blog but my love for music has taken over and new music deffinately doesn’t get the coverage it needs and this person has one really good voice!
Tara London – she writes her own songs and has a really and I mean really unique sound. Check it out!



Right moving on from my little advertisement...

Things got heated with Louis today, had a really good conversation with him tonight
Back with Scott, but I’m still not 100% sure it’s the right thing to do

I’m really tired so off to bed I go, Oh and hi to my new follower!!

You were my all or nothing, hopefully your going to be my all!

The simple way to put today (names need to be used!):

I haven’t felt held back by anything had a really good conversation with Louis, last night and it did turn kind of flirty, guess it’s just one of those things, but it was weird especially as he told me he liked me :/ and carried on speaking to him today and it was kind of flirty again.

But I guess I can be like that coz I am single again, and yeah this sounds bad but I am kind of happy about it because there’s no way it would have gone any further. I do feel bad for Scott but he will find someone else and I really hope he does. But by breaking things off it means I won't be able to hurt him by going with Louis behind his back.

Louis has already started making me smile but my parents aren’t sure about me and him yet but they said, they just want to see me happy, so if things with Louis go any further then it will make me happy.

I’ll keep you posted; love for a teenager can be kind of complicated!

all i ever wanted was you

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me
Do you ever reminisce
I can't believe I'm acting like this
Oh it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you
Is everything okay
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
It's hard enough
Just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
Where is the good in goodbye
Tell me why
Tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away


Brian Mcknight songs are sooo good!! Old music is always the best.

Got a random ext from louis today, but it made me smile :/ then we had a long chat tonight about all our memories and what we thought we had a planned for 'our future' but that never happened :/ makes you think about everythin that you used to have and what you have lost... :/

i'm writing this while waiting to talk to scott... i really miss him and all the time it makes it harder. i wish it wasnt like this. Atm all we seem to do is get over one arguement and have another one and it just takes small things to set it off. We say we want to be together forever, but when its like this sometimes if we are only wishing it could happen and it never will.

UURRGGG i always start thinking like this after i talk to louis :@ people always get inside your head and mess up everythin that you sort out.

didn't post yesterday coz nothin really happened and well thats pretty much the same today...

nothing in life can be simple...

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...
As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'll feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'll probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'll sick
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time

why is it there's thousands of songs that say how you feel, but you can never say it yourself??

why does my head have to mess up agaiin??

its always times like this when things seem to be going okay for once.

anways

laterz x
love you

ubberrr tireeddd

i havent had a chance to speak to scott today :(

bin an alriight day nothing major realli happened...just realli tired :(

so i havent got much to say

oh yeah change of plan bookin camp this weekend hopefully and am gonna co to calshot for the watersports one :D

laterz xx

love you babyy check you e-mail :D xx

not much happens on a monday

Some people are really pathetic, I mean I think it’s time you all grew up, well those 3 people!

Got the glee vol. 2 today, it’s actually quite good!

I miss my baby :(

Max has been making weird comments lately :/

Anyways that’s it

Laterz x
Love you xx

Not really had a very exciting day today...

Went to Tesco’s, sorted my guinea pig & rabbit out, played on the Xbox (actually had a chance today :o).

As you can see I haven’t really done a lot.

I’m so looking forward to summer this year, camp the first week of summer, back for a week, then 2 weeks in Cumbria with the family, back for a week then friends birthday shizz in the last week :D, plus work around all of that. Gonna be a good summer I think, with lots more memories :)

I decided that my first choice for camp is gonna be Gradbach, it’s Derbyshire and it looks well good!

Got a few half terms before though, so I should be able to revise for all my exams and hopefully see Scott sometime (fingers crossed).

This year is going to be a busy year, exams, summer, revision, college, learning to drive... it’s gonna be crazy!! But I’m looking forward to it because I have amazing people around me.

I realised today that on Tuesday I’ll have been with Scott for 3 weeks, already! It’s gone so quick!! I do love him and I miss him so much but when I can drive I'll to be able to drive and be able to see him whenever I’m free.

Monday again tomorrow only two more weeks of school till Easter 

Laterz xx
Love you baby, miss you so much xxxxx

Today is the start of something good.

I don’t know what happened today but I realised a few things...

Recently I’ve been thinking that my life is really bad but let’s face it I’m actually really lucky.

I’ve got....

Scott;
My amazing boyfriend, who I know I can talk to about anything, who I can trust 100% (slight contradiction of the last couple of days, I know, but let’s face it, I actually can’t see him doing any of the things people have said he’s done). He always knows what to say, can put a smile on my face no matter what mood I’m in and sticks by me through everything. I LOVE YOU BABE!!

My friends;
Well here I’m talking about my close friends who I can count on for anything and everything. They’re always there if I need someone to talk to, if I need cheering up, or someone to piss about with. We have some crazy chats too, and I’ve learnt a lot from them the last year. THANKS GUYS

My family;
To be honest I am lucky in the respect the both of my parents are together, not a lot of people have that. We argue a lot but we are close really....

I’m not like a lot of people, yeah I guess I’m outspoken (well I know I am), I’ll say things and think about them afterwards, and that’s always been an issue. I’ve gone through a lot of bad stuff, but that’s taught me to appreciate what I’ve got and the last couple of days I’ve forgotten that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that however much I complain I am actually really lucky.

Laterz xx
Love you babe xxxxx

Ramble

I feel like having a ramble :)

I woke up this morning and my shoulders hurt like hell no idea why, but most likely because of basketball yesterday and me taking everything out on my punch bag :) It was quite fun though imagining everything you want to sort out and just letting go.

I love it when people say things behind your back and they dont think you'll find out. Good times.

Spoke to Scott this morning, he's in Spain... it's alright for some. I love him so much and thigns are starting to go good between us again, i dunno, now i think i've put everything behind us, just wish we could see each other now :(.

louis went weird on me today telling me he needed a massage :/ i just sorted of ignored it.

I've bin listening to until you were gone by chipmunk ft. esmee denters all day it's a really good song.

I think i've chosen my camp for next year, so now all we've got to do is book it!! EXCITEEED much.

Created a new website http://sjhubbard.webs.com/ everything of mine is going to be posted there, my uncle got some copy maker person to do the writing on the home page, that guy was funny.

Lately things havent been so great, but i'm pretty sure things will change.

People want to bitch about me... GO AHEAD
I WILL say what i think too

People want to cause trouble... GO AHEAD
I WILL cause trouble too.

Gotta love life sometimes, and ways i'm back to fl studio... and i mean damn that is some good software. Startin to get the hang of it now.

laterz xx
love you babyy xxxxxx