bit dull atm

Just realised I have two exams next week and I haven’t revised at all, aaahh well.

Tomorrow afternoon with him <3

Haven’t really done much recently just spending time with Louis and catching up on coursework, life is a bit dull at the moment.

Laterz xoxo

at last...

3 hours, 3 pages and 1565 words later my english coursework is finished, at last and i managed that wihtout any notes or anything just the two poems and some really un helpful scribbles in my book, but all in all i think i may have at leats a C, it can be any worse than my romeo and juliet essay.

Had a good conversation with the louis today and we seemt on be back on track again, which is really good and i'm looking forward to sunday, hopefully my revision doesn't decide to ruin it for me.

There's not really much goin on at the moment, oh yeah own clothes day at school tomorrow, some freedom form the deathly black uniform, to raise some money for the Haiti earthquake people.

Anyways, i've had enough of being sat in front of the computer so i'm off,

Laterz xoxo

so much going on this year already

Right well, parents evening is coming up and there won’t be much else for the teachers to say other than, coursework needs to be done, well unless they say it in a more creative way then I don’t think there is anything else they can say anyways.

I was thinking about what is going to be happening in the year already:
1. College interview
2. Sit my GCSE exams
3. Prom
4. Leave school
5. Holiday in august 2 weeks
6. Start college
7. Louis’ 18th
8. My 17th
9. Learning to drive

And even then I’ve probably missed some of it out, I mean it’s really weird to think that I’ll be 17 this year.
I love Glee, slowly the TV people are getting towards a decent musical TV show.

I discovered that I have written 130 poems since last January, quit good really seeing as I don’t really do it all that often
I was quite proud of myself today, not only did my brother leave the Xbox alone long enough for me to use it but, I even managed to beat his score on need for speed, after I did it’s needless to say that I got kicked off of it, but I had a look and I’m still in front of him, hehe.

I came across that song by chance, and its actually quite a good song, and the lyrics are really true.
Anyways I’m off

Laterz xoxo

Ps.

I just love that song

Just one of those days

I was sitting there and just, zoned out and started watching everyone. It's kind of weird when you see everyone just talking and laughing and you're just watching. Guess it's just one of them things...

 

I kind of was hoping with us things would be different; I guess someone can always hope. I can't believe in one week he's managed to get a parking ticket, fall of his ped, and get knocked off of his ped and end up in hospital, he's out now though just got whiplash, which isn't as bad as it could have been. Things between us were going so good; I don't know maybe his idea of what he wants out of life just isn't what I want. I feel like a saw a whole other person before and now he seems to be someone completely different.

 

Nothing really big is happening at the moment to be totally honest, no arguments, which is really good!!

 

I can't believe how much coursework and revision I seemed to suddenly have acquired, textiles, science, English, graphics, media I mean why do they leave it till just before our exams?

 

I have fallen in love with Jason Derulo at the moment, loving his music.

 

Anyways I'm off,

 

Laterz xoxo

 

 

Some pretty amazing guitar tapping

Realisation

hhmmm well maybe things werent as bad as i thought they were all you need to do is talk, it seems to solve everything at the moment.

This morning was pretty weird, went to church for the first time in like my whole life (and no sunday school when it's not your choice doesnt really count in my mind) we went to visit my great nan and granddads graves, along with great uncle eric, tania, and clive. It was the first time i'd been to see them and i'm really glad i did coz it helped me work some stuff out in my head. All of them were people my mum knew, clive and tania were friends of hers, tania got run over by a van (pretty grim, i know) and clive hung himself (also pretty grim). But it did make me realise that losing someone even if it isn't by death can affect you in a big way so you've got to try everything to make things right before it's too late.

Had a pretty amazing afternoon with Louis, he cheered me up after this morning, and it was good to just talk about everything.

anyways i'm off tv is pretty good today,

Laterz xoxoxo

just like a tower of cards

It always happens like this, everything seems to be going really good then like one of those towers made of cards it all just collapses one little bit at a time and I just can never save it in time. Right now it’s looking like I have most probably lost one of my closest friends, me and my boyfriend are on the rocks, and well the rest just isn’t worth talking about... Tomorrow hopefully I can find out the truth with Louis and why he wasn’t upfront with it all in the beginning, and well I don’t really know how to handle the whole argument with her because I don’t particularly know what I have done wrong so I can’t see how I can fix it, hopefully everything will sort itself out, especially as right now I don’t want to lose either of them.

I love how whenever you plan everything because it’s England it decided to rain, it ruins everything!

What is the obsession with finding out our family tree I mean it isn’t even all that interesting I know all the way back to my great grandparents surely that is far enough? So now we are going to look round some graveyard to find out when exactly when one of my mum’s uncles lived, I can’t contain the excitement.

Found a pretty amazing program today, spent hours making beats (I really do have a bit of a sad life) then had a DVD afternoon with my mother, was pretty good, but i did end up having to explain half of it to her...

I really do hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow so that I can see Louis.

Anyways there really isn’t that much to say today, it’s just been one of those days where I’ve thought things over way more than I should of.

Laterz xoxoxo

quick changes

I couldn't ask for a better way to spend my weekend other than with Louis, I really hope is great granddad pulls through.

It's kind of funny how yesterday I was saying how lucky I am to have all of my friends, and I am, but I wish it all came without the problems. I mean how come us girls can be so bitchy, it would all be so much simpler if we were just like guys, throw a few punches and be mates again. But no, we hold the worlds longest grudges to the point that we don't even remember why we were holding the grudge in the first place. It's through these ties that you know who your true friends are as they are the ones who never judge you and let you and the other person work things out without getting involved.

The last couple of days have showed me how much me and Louis need each other, with everything going on with his family and eerything going on between me and my friends, it's good to know that we have each other to turn to. I don't know what i would have done without him the last couple of months, even while i was with scott and he couldnt be there for me Louis was always willing to listen and was always there for me, I am so glad that weve become what we have, because I don't know where I would be without him right now especially as it looks like i may lose one of the people i'm closest to.

Well the highlight of my day was ermm, well it was school can't really say there was a highlight to my day can i?? So, looking forward to tomorrow the whole afternoon with louis, and then the same on sunday, well who needs revision.

I dont really have a clue why but i can never bring myself to revise for any of my exams supposed to have sience exams next week but i just can't concentrate on the revision, to be honest i can't really be asked anymore either i can't wait to leave school and just start aain somewhere new.

anyways thats me done for today,

laterz xoxoxo

2010

Wow, my first proper, actual, interesting post for 2010 :)

So, it’s 2010, a new year, a new decade and time for a fresh start. No more being walked over by people, being stabbed in the back or any of that stuff. Last year was full of ups and downs, fall outs and break ups but now I’m ready to put that all behind me and start a fresh. Now it’s going to be about:

1. Friends – no more being walked over by so called friends. I’m going to concentrate on the ones I have, the people I can trust. If someone feels the need to talk about me behind my back then they can do it because to be honest I can’t be bothered with people like that anymore I’m passed caring about those people. I’ve got friends that I can trust, stand by me, make me laugh, I can have a good time with and know will always be there (yes we’ve all fallen out at times but I hope there won’t be any more of those times). If I lose friends then they can’t of bin that great a friend in the first place, can they?

2. Boyfriends <3 – finally had enough of being with jerks, hopefully I have found the right guy (which I’m sure I have), finally I’m happy and we’re doing good together, everything I want in a guy is in him, kind, caring, funny, loving, respects me. Four days till we’ll of bin together for a month, it’s gone so fast but I’ve enjoyed every minute of it, ILYOUU!

3. Guitar – I’m actually sticking to my hour a day of practice time, which is quite surprising, but I am actually improving, slowly. Maybe one day I’ll be able to just play anything I want but for now it’s a case of hand exercises, chords and tones of practice!

4. School – I’ve changed my mind plenty of times about wanting to go onto college, but now I’m pretty sure that it’s what I want to do, as eventually I want to get into events management. Now I need to work hard and get the grades so I can actually do that. Hopefully I’ll be able to study business studies, leisure studies, media studies and ICT.

Obviously my family should be in that list but since October 2008 we’ve been spending a lot of time together so my life is all about my family anyways and everything else normally has to fit around them, so now I think it’s time to maybe spend more time with Louis and all of my friends.

I’m going to start having a new outlook on life, if it hasn’t got anything to do with me then I’m not going to worry about it, I’m not going to think things over as much as I used to, I’m just going to let things happen and see where it leads me to.

My music taste has changed quite a bit over the last year I don’t just listen to mainstream music anymore; I listen to everything, that’s probably got quite a bit to do with my YouTube addiction.

I’ve developed this thing for writing poetry of the last 5 – 6 months, hopefully I’m getting better and the subjects I write about are varying a lot more. I’ve also found out that I can draw portraits from photos, I’ve never been able to do it until recently, but it was pretty cool to find out I can do it.

Something that has really changed the way I am with people and how I see things is DI4R, it was probably the most amazing week of my life, I’ll never forget the people (well there is one person I can try and forget). The memories are pretty insane too, team DIVERSITY all the way, hopefully we can all meet up again this summer. From DI4R I’ve got three of the best mates I’ve ever met Laura, Zahra and Jaz.

But those to aren’t the only people I couldn’t live without; Molly.Hannah.Clauds.Milly.Hayley.Michelle.Bethany.Brenna.Mica
Without those guys the last few years would have been so hard and I probably wouldn’t have got through it. That’s why I try to be there for them as much as they have for me because they always do so much for me:

Molly. I know that with her I can talk to her about everything and work out what to do about it all. But not only that we have so many good times together and I know that I can always rely on her. Cow and the frog.

Hannah. I can trust her with anything and she’s been there for me through some pretty tough stuff, and her iphone is one immense little gadget.

Clauds. With our little theories, serious chats and just plain weird moments I don’t know what I’d do without her. She’s one of the few people who have really stood by me through everything.

Milly. Got to love my little ginger, her music and our amazing dancing. She always manages to make me smile no matter what mood I’m in.

Hayley. We always talk and mess around there isn’t anything I wouldn’t be able to talk to her about because we always help each other out with our problems.

Michelle. TUNEEE, we have some pretty amazing maths lessons together, she’s one of those people you can always rely on and will always be there to support you.

Bethany. We’ve been through a lot, fallen out, made up, but we are so close, I can trust her with everything, she always knows when something’s up and was one of the only people who know the truth about that October. She always helps me sort stuff out.

Brenna. What would I do without bren bren, one of the only people that doesn’t really judge anyone and you can trust 100% , can put a smile on your face when you don’t even think it’s possible.

Mica. I know I can rely on her and will always be there with a hug when you’re feeling down and will just sit there if you don’t want to talk.

The main thing about our little group of friends is that they’re always supportive and I know that they’ll always be there for me in some way or another, yeah we’ve fallen out but we always sort it out and move on (but there again what friends don’t fall out).

But there’s still one very special friend that I haven’t mentioned and that’s Kersha. I’ve known her for 13 years and we’ve always been close, I trust her with my life. There’s nothing we wouldn’t tell each other because we always do. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have her. Through everything I know I’ve always got her and she’ll always have me, that’s the way it’s always been and the way it’s going to stay.

Louis <3. He’s been there for me the last couple of months, but only recently (18th December 2009) have we become more. I’m glad we have because I couldn’t ask for anyone else to be by my side. He means so much to me. When I first met him all the way back in primary school I’d never of guessed we’d end up the way we have, but I’m really glad we have because he is the most amazing person anyone could ever meet, kind.caring.funny.loving what more could anyone want? I hope that we last.

I get distracted really easily but that’s just the way I roll, here is the last few things;

Friends.family.louis.music.guitar.eastenders.poetry.art.markers.green.airwalk.basketball

That’s it from me today,

Laterz xoxox