And I’ll take you there one kiss at a time.

It’s been a Boyzone day today.

I am really, really happy. The last few months haven’t been easy, I have been stressed about exams, family, friends but I’ve had the most amazing person standing by my side, Scott, he’s put a smile on my face the last few months, I’ve officially left school, all my exams have finished and I can’t wait for the summer to start.

I’ve had my hair sorted today; I might be getting pink or bright green tips on it for prom too. That’s something that’s surprising I’m actually looking forward to it, arriving with Claudia and Bethany two of my best mates. It should be a good night even if it has been hyped a lot. Got a bit of pressure to get the yearbook finished by the 8^th of July but we should be able to do it.

I’m so excited for the next few months, so much going on but I’m going to make as much time to talk to Scott as much as possible, because he means so much to me.

Prom

Football trials at College

Camp

Family Holiday

Results Day

Scott’s Birthday

I’ve really got to work out what I’m going to get Scott for his birthday, I know it’s still a way off but I really want to get him something special. So it’s going to take a bit of thinking but hopefully I will be able to come up with something. I miss him so much but I was glad to spend the time I got to spend with him in half term and I’m looking forward to anytime I get with him until I can spend every day with him. It’s not long until I will be able to drive either so when I pass I will be able to drive and see him whenever I can, and that will defiantly make things so much easier on us. But right now me and Scott seem to be really good, well that’s what I think, I’m pretty sure he thinks it too, and I really can’t wait till I can see him every day, hopefully I can get into Bournemouth university so it will make things easier.

I’ve started to think positively and I think it’s having a good effect on us and making things less strained which is always good. I really love him and I’m not going to let anyone take him away from me or come between us because he means so much to me.

BBQ now…

Oh yeah, and I've decided on the third tattoo I want to get but this one won't happen straight away when I turn 18, this one will be really speacial to me because I will get it done when I get married, I saw it a couple of years ago and thought it was a really good idea, a wedding ring tattoo on my ring finger on my left hand, I'll get the name of the person I marry around the place where the ring will go and then down the inside of my ring finger the date that I get married. I think it'll be good because it'll symbolise being with them forever and that's why I would marry someone because I want to be with them forever. I really hope the name will be Scott's. Thats one tattoo I really want to get.

Love you baby xxxxx

Laterz xo

And when you don't know what to do Just pick up the phone You know I'm never too far from you

I I love this song, it kind of reminds me of Scott too as well as another song but I found that ages ago. I love him so much, can’t believe in a week we’ll have been together 3 months already, time goes by so quickly, I wouldn’t change anything about him either, to my he’s prefect, and what isn’t makes me love him even more.

Had such a good day with everyone today, BBQ in the sun.

Signed off from school.

Worried about Scott, but there again when aren’t I.

Hair getting sorted tomorrow.

About it really.

Love you xxx

Laterz xo

♫ Got me like, ooh myy gosh I’m soo in love I found you finallyy, you make me want to say Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Ohh myy gosh ♫ ♥ ♥

Last exam finished today!!.. But I don’t think it went too well...

Can’t wait for Mica’s tomorrow, got the sausages, BBQ with the besties! What a way to finish school. After signing off, then I only have to go back for prom on Friday and getting my results in august and the presentation evening in October/ November time.

I miss Scott so much. Wish I could see him and just spend some time with him.

Put up a tent today I’m going to be sleeping in it for two weeks in the summer in Cumbria I’ve already got the biggest sleeping area so the other two can’t fight over the other two areas, haha.

So much happening this week, I love being busy, only problem with that is I don’t get to speak to Scott as much.

This summer is going to be so good, it’s already started well. Loads of memories.

Love you baby xxxxx

Laterz xo

Because this could be love

England lost today, wasn’t really surprising to be honest.

Decided the next film I’m going to watch, Dirty Dancing. It’s a classic, I love it so much plus it has the legend Patrick Swayze in it.

Gotta love it! Reminds me of when I used to do dance…

LAST EXAM tomorrow!!! Then signing off the day after and a finishing school BBQ with the besties.

Then I’ll be done with school!

It’s been another pointless day today, not done very much.

Scott’s got his phone sorted!! It’s really good it means we can talk so much more.

Can’t wait for camp, especially if the weather stays like this.

Love you baby xxxx

Laterz xo

Song of the summer

Laterz xo

Hit me with a text, let me know your home alone

This blog is going to have a few pictures because I haven’t put any recently.

Firstly my hair is going to be sorted in time for prom! I think I have a rough idea of how I’m going to get it done. Kind of like Victoria Beckham’s messy bob style but i want mine to have a bigger side fringe. Fingers crossed it will look okay, well we’ll find out on Wednesday.

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Today, I was saying before in some older posts how I was going to be recording some lyrics when my stuff arrived, but that kind of changed. I have started getting into spoken word, as a way of getting all my poems heard, so I’m going through recording them all and then I’ll make videos to go with them, which will end up on YouTube, if they are any good.

 

Things feel so much better between me and Scott, which I’m really glad about. Spoke to him this morning as well and hopefully will be tonight.

It’s 22 days till camp, and I need to get loads of new clothes and maybe some new hats too. Can’t wait will be so good to get away for a week and will be good to see Stevie again.

Well I’m going to get back to writing.

This weekend is my only weekend off for basically the whole of summer.

Love you baby xxxxx

 

 

I don’t normally like Miley Cyrus’ stuff but I love love this song. It’s pretty amazing to be honest.

I love Orianthi’s fairly new song, Shut Up & Kiss Me as well, she’s got mad skills on the guitar.

Laterz xo

I love my boy

Things are actually looking up. Talking to Scott shows that we will work this out.

Been working on my new song and my stuff should be arriving soon, can’t wait.

Really looking forward to prom, should be quite good.

I love Scott so much, and am so lucky to have him but I am going to have to stop taking things out on him it’s just not fair on him, but I want him to open up to me more and to realise that I am actually lucky to have him and do want to help him.

Want to get back to making beats.

Laterz xo

Sometimes it just doesn’t help

I’ve just read Scott’s blog; I don’t know what he wants, us to stay together or what. But I can’t do any more, I talk to him as much as I can, I’ve even gone to see him. I know it sounds bad but he’s the one who says he’ll talk but doesn’t come online, it’s little things like that that makes it hard for me. Then I see something like his blog last night and it makes me doubt whether he even wants to be with me. It’s been a hard time for me, I don’t cope with exams well and I know I have taken a lot of it out on him and that’s not fair on him, but right now I can’t go and see him till after the summer and then I don’t know if I can till I am able to drive because of starting college and having to settle into that. I don’t know what to think anymore. I thought things were fine with us apart from us both just being busy, obviously he thinks different, but I can’t do anymore at the moment, not because I don’t want to but because I actually can’t.

I can’t believe he’s saying this after everything; I’m trying my best to make things work. It feels pointless when he writes something like that. I know why he feels like it but now I feel like it’s all my

Maybe my mates were right, maybe he has found someone else, I don’t know but what I do know is that we need to talk.

I always said the distance would be hard; he was always the one that said we’d be able to work with it.

I really do love him and don’t want to lose him, but I want him to be happy so if that isn’t with me then I’ll have to deal with it, won’t I.

A year since Michael Jackson died. Time goes pretty quickly now a days.

I might/ might not write again later on, trying to some revision but now that I’ve read his blog, I don’t think that will.

I really want us to sort this out. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

I thought things were just getting better then this happens. But that life really, something good happens then something bad comes along to take the smile off your face.

But what I do know right now, I haven’t ever met anyone like Scott before and haven’t felt this way about anyone before. He’s made me so happy the last few months and I don’t want to lose what we have.

If we are going to work, we need to talk about this and work it out, right now I can’t change anything, so i need to stop thinking about it, but I can’t and I don’t think writing this down is going to help for some reason.

I can’t lose him.

Laterz xo

Miss Independent

Haha, according to one of my ex’s this song describes me, good thing or bad thing… especially considering the lyrics..."thats why i love her" still or past tense, pa sorry mate you had your chance. He knows my love for Ne-Yo so...

Laterz xo

Everybody says we're through I hope you haven't said it too

I feel like I’ve achieved something today, got some lyrics down, and so now I’ve just got to work on the beat then wait for my new recording stuff to arrive to put it all together, can’t wait.

I went to bed in a really bad mood last night and woke up like it, but I don’t know writing just cleared my head I guess.

I’ve spoken to Scott for 5 minutes so far today plus an e-mail, it’s an improvement on the last few days I guess, I’m just going to do what my mates say but i hope they aren’t right about us not going to last much longer, not get so pissed off about it it’s not as if I can change it, enjoy the stuff happening about leaving school, including prom and then look forward to camp then my family holiday. Completely packed summer can’t wait!

Can’t believe how much stuff I’ve got going on the next few weeks and months.

Monday 28^th June – Chemistry re sit

Tuesday 29^th June - Signing off/ maybe party

Friday 2^nd July – Prom!

Saturday & Sunday 3^rd and 4^th July – Working

Saturday 10^th July – Working

Sunday 18^th to Friday 23^rd July – Camp

Wednesday 28^th July – Working

Saturday 31^st July to Saturday 14^th August – Camping with the family in Cumbria

Tuesday 24^th August – Pick up GCSE results

Got something every week and every weekend till the fourth week of August, but I like being busy, means I don’t have to think about everything too much, it just happens.

I really want my stuff to arrive soon; I want to start putting this track together.

Early night again tonight, need my sleep! So probably won’t talk to Scott again tonight, but I’m slowly getting used to it.

Thanks for all the comments on my posts for everyone who has! It's nice to know people are reading my thoughts as weird as that might sound, ha you inside my head, that's a weird thought for you!

Laterz xo

Is in need of a shoulder and a someone to hold her in there arms while she crys, and they ask no questions. Just say everything will be OK.

 

so much for being happy from now on.

I hate it when things go wrong.

I don’t want us to drift apart but now we hardly even talk and each day we’re talking less and less, now he doesn't even have a phone that works, we hardly talk on msn and we don’t see each other. I HATE IT. Hopefully it passes soon, because I can’t deal with it. So much for being online at 9, again. Now I’m just taking everything out on him again.

I’m in a weird mood.

I think bed is the safest option right now, as it looks like we won’t talk again tonight. At least when i go to bed I can forget everything for 8 hours.

I’m gonna plug myself back into Eminem and sleep

Laterz xo

Forever means forever

Lame day.

Finished graphics

Don’t really feel like writing much.

Started putting together some beats and words, don’t know if it’ll turn into anything just playing at the moment.

England won.

Laterz xo

If he ain't gonna love you The way he should Then let it go If he ain't gonna treat you The way he should Then let it go

 

I’m done with being all depressed and stressed out, what’s the point? I’ve got amazing friends, a perfect boyfriend and great family; I need to stop panicking about everything what happens will happen. People are always going to bitch and gossip so you know what let them do it, people are always going to try and put things in my head but you know what let them do it. It’s time to let all that shit go.

Right now I am so happy.

Got Fl Studio 9 XXL I love it, I’m such a geek for new software, but this is different, this is for recording. I’m getting back into rap and hip hop again, which is probably why my mood has improved so much today. I just need to order some new stuff, and then it’ll be all systems go! Bin listening to Keyshia Cole’s Let it go all day, such a good song even though it’s quite old, it’s even better coz it’s got Missy in it.

Finished setting up my brother’s new phone, I’m such a nice sister...

Graphics exam tomorrow, hopefully I’ll do okay.

I can’t believe I agreed to the bet with my Mum, well let’s just hope England doesn’t lose tomorrow or it’ll be humiliation for me.

Everything seems to be slowly getting back to how it should be, about time too.

Was hoping to have a proper conversation with Scott tonight but doesn’t look like that’ll happen. I miss when we were just getting together and we would talk for hours about everything, now we only talk for about an hour a night because everything just gets in the way. Aaah well things might change they might not, but at least I know he’s mine and that he loves me.

Laterz xo

I know in your heart that your tired of the distance

 

Why is it people let you down? Talk about you behind your back? To be honest we’ll never know. I hate being let down, I really do.

Right now I’m looking forward to camp and meeting new people, hopefully having a few days away from everyone and everything will help me sort my head out like it did last year. Being disconnected from everyone and everything is just what I need.

I keep reading too much into things, it’s really annoying.

I found out JoJo is going to have a new album out sometime this year, hence all of the videos of her songs.

I love it when people spread rumours about you and you find out about them, I love it even more when it’s someone you thought you could trust.

I feel really tired so I’m going to bed early again tonight. I was going to upload a video but I haven’t got time...

I’ve made a decision about how I’m going to get my hair cut it’s not at all like I was thinking but hopefully it’ll look good.

I’m contemplating blowing my money on some new clothes and hats I found some pretty wicked ones today, but I’m not going to spend a £10 on each of them on the internet I’ll go to town and get them... Maybe.

Scott keeps talking about how he hates the distance and I do too I just hope that doesn’t affect us, the more he talks about it, the more I think it’s driving us apart. We haven’t really spoken today either because his phone is broken, I just don’t want to lose him.

Spent quite a lot of today on the WII fit, I am supposedly the right weight, but not exactly very fit...

Last night’s plan didn’t really work out, the DVD never quite made it into the DVD player; I fell asleep too quick I don’t think I’ll even bother choosing one tonight.

That was a bit long and pointless but hey that’s what this blog is for, emptying my head.

Laterz xo

If I changed for you, would you like me, like me more?

This weekend has been pretty hectic. I was working yesterday and I’m now really tired from it still. Spent today shopping and out, I swear half the places I’ve been to today haven’t had a signal.

I’m really tired so I think I’ll be having an early night tonight...

Not got much else to say.

Laterz xo

Never Let You Go

 

Today, I have eaten three, yes three toblerone bars, I’m quite proud of myself!

Got my Dad’s fathers day stuff sorted.

Got to work tomorrow, not looking forward to getting up at 7…

Can’t wait for the match tonight, but if England loose they are out of the world cup.

I love my baby so much hopefully it won’t be too long till i see him again, he’s everything that I could ask for and more xx

Laterz xo

PS. read my new poem guys ;) http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/blitz0911/564540/ and tell me what you think

YES it's been a stressful week, but rubber duckies can squeak away the stress

 

It’s been a crazy few days, again.

Had an exam yesterday , biology, I think I most probably failed. Oh well…

I am getting back into playing piano again, I’ll probably fill all of my spare time playing now that I have the chance too.

I didn’t write a post last night coz I felt really ill, so went to bed early.

I’ve got to work tomorrow, I’m not looking forward to getting up early….

I’m so bored being at home all day now!

BUT I have become quite good at cooking… only bacon sandwiches and sausage sandwiches but it’s a start.

Can’t wait for England’s game tomorrow, hopefully they’ll play better than the USA game!

Me and Scott are slowly sorting out our problems, hopefully I’ll get to see him soon.

Laterz xo

Words From A Teenage Mind

I write a lot of poetry so I’ve decided to create a blog specifically for posting my poetry.

http://wordsfromateenagemind.blogspot.com/

It’s got a similar layout to this one, just to keep it all in keeping with each other.

I’ve got my last ever biology exam tomorrow. Hopefully I do well.

Not really done much today other than write.

Found some good musical people on youtube:

They sound really good, pretty similar too Boyz 2 Men and have supported them too.

I have really written about Scott in this for a while other than to complain, so I thought I’d say something about him. In three weeks time we will have been together for 3 months, I know we don’t get to spend time together like we want to but we are really close. I don’t know what I would do without him to be honest, I can trust him and rely on him, plus he can always put a smile on my face, which is always a good thing. He’s not like all the typical guys who are only after one thing he really cares about other people. Something good about us is we don’t have any awkward silences, maybe this means what we have is really good. I really love him and can’t wait to see him again whenever it is.

I’m really getting back into writing again, and slowly things are looking up…again.

Love you xxxxx

SJ xo

Baby be sure I’ll never let you go

I am back using my writer’s cafe profile to post all my poems on: http://www.writerscafe.org/blitz0911, there’s going to be loads of new stuff appearing there, so keep checking it!

I’ve been playing around with the new blogger layout template thing, this is what I’ve come up with so far, but it might mean some of my older posts are hard to read but I can’t really help that. It might change again yet.

Watching this video make me want to lay piano again.

So I’m back to do things that I enjoy doing and will keep me busy and away from the computer! That means I’ll only really use the computer at night or when I’m looking for songs to learn. Plus I’m going to have to get some training in somewhere for my trials for college.

Being off school means that I'll be posting more blogs at different times of the day.

Last night I spoke to Scott about everything and it will hopefully get easier over the next few weeks.

Trying to arrange meeting up with everyone from camp last year but it doesn’t help everyone is all spread out, away at different time and working. Hopefully we’ll work something out. But I will be seeing Stevie this summer, I’m actually really looking forward to camp again this year!

My mood has gone up, so I think that means things are going well again.

I really need to sort out my football boots! Can’t wait for the trials at  Long Road, hopefully I get in. Just need to spend some time practising and hopefully I’ll be alright.

Can’t believe I’ve managed to get 6 followers! I’ll be checking their blogs out will post their links here.

I’m working out how to get my hair cut, I’m not sure weather I should have it the longer version of how I had it spiky like this:

Pretty dodgy pictures there, back to there hair. If I had it like that I would have really blonde highlights put in and some pink ones too, maybe even bleach all my hair. Or have something like this done.

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I’m thinking of mixing these hairstyles maybe, I’m not sure yet, but I will definitely be getting it cut and redone so I need to work out how and I want some different colour put in it, I was thinking bright pink.

I’m done…

Love you xxx

i promise we’ll always be together, I'll never say never

I don’t have anything else to do so I’m going to try and sort out my head...

I don’t know why but recently me and Scott haven’t really been talking like we used to we don’t really get the chance to have a proper conversation anymore. Everything just seems to be getting in the way. But when we do get a chance to talk we never talk like we used to, we never really talk about things that matter anymore. Maybe it’s just because we don’t really get a chance to talk at the moment but it feels like we are drifting apart again and I really don’t want that to happen.

I really don’t like it when things change. But I guess that’s what is going to happen now. College, people in some ways I’m not looking forward to it but in others I am.

There’s 35 days till I go on camp. That means in about two weeks time I will get to go shopping and buy some new clothes for it. Plus, I will get to see Stevie from camp last year which will be good.

Finally managed to get Jordin Sparks’ album Battlefield it’s really good.

I wish I could see Scott more it would make times like this so much easier. I hate having the distance but I really don’t know what I would do without him. But I'm sure we’ll sort this out, we always do.

I’m going to have to put up with two years of college just because without it I will end up in some rubbish job that won’t go anywhere.

I hate having so much going on in my head.

I think I’ve worked out how to solve some stuff, but there still quite a few things left to sort out.

Love you xx

Why can’t things be easy anymore

Last night was really good, had slightly too much to drink, but oh well. England drew one all but should of won next match on Friday. It was good to catch up with the family too.

Had someone Scott knows ask me a weird question this morning, “Are you breaking up with Scott”. Not that I know of. But at the moment I do feel like we are drifting apart we just don’t seem to talk as much as we used to or really talk about anything that matters like we used to, it all just seems to be changing.

Got into another argument with my parents today it’s really not good.

My idea about college isn’t going to be happening so I’m just going to have to stick it out for the next two years, might mean the next two years won’t be great but at least I’ll get the qualifications at the end of it.

Everything seems to be going back downhill again, just when everything started to look up. Sometimes I just want to go somewhere really far away on my own away from all of the problems to get away from everything.

It’s father’s day next Sunday and I have no idea what to get him.

I’m trying to cut back on the amount of time I spend in front of the computer but so far I haven’t been succeeding.

I guess having all this going on when I haven’t had much sleep doesn’t really help.

I’ve just had enough of the little things turning into big things.

Each Day is a gift

Right I had an early night last night and well didn’t really get to sleep too early but I did finally work out what I am going to do about college. I am going to e-mail the college and hopefully be able to change my course to something ‘that suits me more’ well that’s the theory, just hope I can now (fingers crossed).

I’m writing this at what feels like a ridiculously early time because I probably won’t get a chance to write tonight due to the fact we are having a BBQ with some of my family who come on holiday with us. Hopefully it doesn’t rain like it looks like it’s about to do.

Plan for today:

· Tidy my room hopefully there won’t be too much junk

· Get my Granddad’s birthday present

· E-mail my college

· Help set up for tonight

· Hopefully talk to Scott at some point

The last one is really important right now because we aren’t talking as much again, I’m going to blame the world cup.

I’m pretty sure the inbox on my phone is filled up with texts off of all of my mates (and Scott) with one word texts, seriously how do you reply to those? I never know if I should leave it or try and carry the conversation on. The one word texts that I have the most are lol, same, okay, and yeah seriously they are BIG conversation killers.

So last night even if I didn’t get the amount of sleep I wanted to I did manage to make a decision about something that should please everyone including me and also still let me go to uni, so it’s a win win situation.

I found pictures similar to the tattoos I want so here they are:

I also want Mum and Dad written on the back of my neck not sure how yet though.

Laterz xo

Love you baby xxxxxxxx

i keep it wrapped inside…

Some people would say that this is the end but really it’s just the beginning...

Well today was my last whole day in school today. The two exams went pretty well, the maths definitely went better than my graphics exam but I won’t know till the 24^th August when I get the results back (fingers crossed). I now only have to go into school for exams which means my summer basically starts now!

SO summer is starting and I’m starting to plan stuff, yes I know I’m actually starting to plan stuff! I’ve got a list of things I want to fit in now that I have time to do them one of the top ones is start football training (probably on my own) and going running more regularly again. I’m still going to have to revise quite a bit but I only have 3 exams left so there isn’t really that much to do. Going away for 3 weeks this summer, can’t wait.

I joined formspring ages ago so here’s another one of my many links: http://www.formspring.me/hubbster

Hopefully it’s going to be sunny the next few weeks so I can spend some time outside.

There’s going to be a lot of change in my life over the next few months and some f it will be bad, some of it will be good but whatever happens I’m going to make the most of it.

Had a good catch up with Hayley today, spent a while just talking (one of my besties). I know in the end she will make the right decision about what she wants.

That’s something I’m going to miss though when I go to college is all of the people. But I’m looking forward to meeting all the new people and all the new opportunities. But there again there have been quite a few people I’ve been drifting away from recently so I guess it’s something that just happens.

I’m going to be working a lot for my parents over the summer and hopefully I’ll be able to find a proper part time job as well. So I can start saving towards driving lessons and car insurance for when I’m 17. I really can’t wait till I am able to drive.

I also can’t wait till I’m 18 so I can get the tattoo done that I want, well tattoos. But they are really expensive so that will take a bit of saving for.

Had another argument with my parents today, it’s happening more and more but they blow pretty soon too so it should be alright soon.

The world cup has started! England’s first game tomorrow can’t wait. I don’t think they will get very far but I’m hoping they win it but they’ll have to sort their game out if they are going to.

Things haven’t been great recently but they are slowly turning around.

Not got much else to say really.

 

 

Love you xxx

Getting close to be done with school

It’s been quite a good day today.

Been getting random phone calls from O2 though well apparently it’s O2 but when I looked it up it says it’s a scam so I’m going to be avoiding answering it.

I was reading through one of the blogs I’m following when I got in today and found out he’d posted a link to mine which I thought was pretty cool, if anyone wants to they can read his blog here: http://dans-wackyworld.blogspot.com/

Couldn’t believe it when my bus driver missed my stop on the way home had further to walk, in the rain too.

I was kind of annoyed today when I found out that after the maths exam tomorrow you can go home, but guess what I have an exam in the afternoon so there would be no point staying so I’ll be spending the 2/3 hours I have spare adding some stuff to the yearbook.

I don’t think I’ve really mentioned our yearbook, I’m pretty sure most people know what it is so I won’t go into that. Our committee originally had about 14 people on it now there are only 3 or 4 people with only two people being able to access the site you have to make it on, and I’m the only one who has actually edited anything.

I was looking at apprenticeships this morning. I’m still in two minds about college and what I want to do; I’m really bad at making decisions. But if I don’t go to college I’ll be letting everyone down so I guess I’ll still go that way everyone else will be happy.

I’ve just read through a couple of pages of graphics notes for my exam tomorrow and the worrying thing is I don’t actually think I know any of it.

Hmm not much else to say really...

2 hours and 40 minutes of exams tomorrow.

Love you babe xxx

Finally

Today has been really good; lunch was such a laugh with those videos.

Finally got rid of my bad mood.

Can’t believe Stacey’s leg needing to be in a cast for another 3 months.

Hopefully the next few months go pretty fast, want to get started at college and learning to drive.

2 hour exam tomorrow the last of my English ones, at last! Had my physics exam today didn’t exactly go really well especially as I fell asleep in the last 15 minutes but at least I’d finished even though I’d probably got no marks.

Love my new phone.

I love you baby (I don’t look like a chipmunk!) xxxxxx

Still in a weird mood

Well, the positives my knee has gone down completely! Well for the time being anyways. I really hope it stays that way.

It’s so stressful at school at the moment cramming in revision before exams, sitting exams, trying to sort out the yearbook. I’ve got till Friday to get back all the photos that were lost; I don’t think it’s going to happen. I could really do without the stress.

Had an argument with my parents, so now thinks are awkward, but it’ll be fine soon it’s just the build up of stress because of everything.

Everything seems so hard at the moment and I know that my grades aren’t going to be what I want them to be and what everyone is expecting me to get so I feel like I’m letting everyone down.

Sometimes I just want to get away for a day and just be able to forget about the exams, revision and all the problems but that won’t be happening any time soon.

At least me and Scott are good, to be honest I don’t know what I’d do without him especially at the moment with everything.

Another thing that isn’t helping is the lack of sleep I’m getting I keep waking up at 4 in the morning and not being able to get back to sleep and it doesn’t help with exams the next day.

I feel like everything is a mess and I need to sort everything out but really everything is fine.

My new phone did arrive today and its way different to my old one so it’s going to take a bit of getting used to. But it’s great its bright pink and does everything I need it to and it has two cameras on it. Thought that was pretty amazing to be honest.

Being in school at the moment feels really pointless all our lessons are basically now frees so we just sit there and do nothing.

I’m really tired and just want to go to bed but I want to talk to Scott first.

I miss Scott so much wish I could go back to half term and spend some time with him again. I really can’t wait to be able to drive and be able to see him more.

I’ve sat 10 hours and 20 minutes of exams and have 6 hours and 50 minutes left, can’t wait for them to be over and for the really long summer to be here, hopefully I’ll be able to spend some of it with Scott!

So basically I’m still in that weird mood.

Love you baby xxx

do i stay, do i go, do i want this, do i need it

 

I love listening to songs just before they become popular, but then I never like them when they become popular because they end up being over played.

I seem really tired today the result of not much sleep and having to keep the weight off of one of my legs, it’s not fun. But on the upside it is getting better. Having a knee that swells up often is part of the reason why I keep my legs covered because they (well my left one) generally looks disgusting.

I think I’ve actually started growing up and realising things don’t always happen the way you want them to so you have to change what you want to suit what is possible. Sometimes you won’t achieve your dreams but without dreaming ad having hopes you not going to better yourself.

As of today I’m forgetting about grudges and moving on it’s not as if I’ll see half the people after the next few weeks anyways.

Still not sure about college... part of me really doesn’t want to go, but if I don’t go I feel like I’ll be letting people down as well as myself (I still don’t think my grades will be high enough).

Job search still isn’t going anywhere yet.

I’ve been stuck in this weird mood all day I’m not happy and I’m not sad, it’s annoying... apparently I’m love sick, basically missing Scott well according to my mates anyway. But I do miss him a lot.

I wish it would stop raining...

I know I’ve most probably failed the maths exam today, I couldn’t answer half of the questions my mind went totally blank, oh well will have to make up for it on the other paper on Friday. I’ve got 2 hours of English tomorrow but I’m normally good at that kind of stuff it’s reading and writing (my imagination comes in useful) shame you can’t write poems in it though. I’ve had enough of all the exams now.

I need to decide if I want my hair back short for prom or whatever soon, got the dress and shoes so that part is sorted.

I used to spend hours writing poems but I just don’t have the time anymore. I’m going to try writing more along with the other promises I’ve made myself which probably won’t happen.

It’s really been one of those days were I wish I stayed in bed in my nice warm duvet even though it’s been fairly warm. I just need to hide for a few days just because I feel all crappy, no reason for it just do.

I really wish I lived closer to Scott and we were able to spend more time together.

I don’t feel like talking to people either and I need some credit but not going to get any credit because my new phone is hopefully arriving tomorrow so I’ll have to last till then.

I think after I talk to Scott (hopefully soon) I’ll try having an early night and get rid of the weird mood I’m in.

S : makes people laugh
T : a smile to die for
A : crazy
C : selfish
E : has gorgeous eyes
Y : is loved by everyone

H : stick to one
U : is loved by everyone
B : loves people and sex
B : loves people and sex
A : crazy
R : funny
D : a very good girlfriend or boyfriend anyone ever had

One of those name things, apparently that’s true.

I have four months to work out what to get Scott for his birthday, I know it seems a long time but he’s awkward and keeps saying I don’t have to get him anything so I’m going to take ages to come up with an idea.

I’ve rambled for ages, trying to kill time till Scott comes online.

I’ve got loads of things floating about in my mind that I need to sort out and work out what to do about…

Love you xxxx

There's so many ways I love you And that's just for the record

I’ve spent loads of time today just thinking, not even about anything in particular, well there have been a few things so I guess this post is going to be a bit of a ramble.

I’m not looking forward to next week it’s full of exams:

Monday – Maths

Tuesday – English Paper 1

Wednesday – Physics

Thursday – English Paper 2

Friday – Maths Calculator & Graphics Paper 1

Friday is my last actual day at school though, then I am on study leave, even though every other school is already on study leave but oh well.

I’m going through this phase at the moment where I don’t want to go to college in September. I don’t know why either, I was really looking forward to it. Now I just want to get a job. But if I want a decent job going to college is the best option and I really want to go to university, so I think college is my only option.

I really need a proper job, working with my dad is great but I need something that means I will get a decent amount of money, but I’m not complaining I am looking for work and hopefully over the summer I will find something.

It’s the last day of half term; I haven’t revised at all, oh well.

I’m trying to do some volunteer work for a radio station, hopefully I get it, it’s only a community radio station but, the experience would be good for my CV, when I’m 17 hopefully I can apply for the hospital radio station.

I need some credit but don’t want to put any credit because of my new phone coming on Tuesday, can’t wait unlimited texts.

I can’t believe how many forms you need to fill out for sixth form though, but I’m glad I qualify for EMA otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford anything just need to sort out the bank account part now. I haven’t got a bank account because I’ve never needed one, so next weekend hopefully I’ll be able to sort that out.

It’s scary to think I’m leaving school so soon. But that does mean I’m closer to being able to learn to drive. I’m trying to save to do the 5-day driving course which means I will hopefully pass after a week of driving lessons but that means I need about £850, only 5 months till I’m 17. I don’t want to do loads of lessons I just want to pass my test.

I only just realised it’s less than a month till prom! It should be a fairly good night, hopefully. I’m not bothering with the traditional prom dress at all, I’m going with something bright and colourful and think that’s slightly more me. Travelling with Claudia and Bethany should be good too.

I’ve done nothing all day really. Still wish I was still with Scott.

I can’t believe me and Scott have been together for two months already! It’s good to know that I have him even though we have the distance between us, but things are going good, well better than good actually. Especially after seeing him last week, but I really miss him now, (another reason why I can’t wait to drive). I guess one of the main reasons why we work so well is because we are so close; he’s one of my best friends as well as my boyfriend. I really do love him. I can’t believe we’ve not even known each other a year but I don’t know anyone I trust or care about more, people have come in between us before and caused arguments between us but this time things are so much better. I love everything about him and can’t wait till I can see him again.

But the next few months should go quite quickly especially with everything that’s going on:

Exams till the 28^th June

Work every Sunday

Prom 2^nd July

Camp 18^th- 23^rd July (42 Days only 6 weeks!)

Family holiday 31^st July – 14^th August

Pick up GCSE results on 24^th August

Scott’s Birthday 5^th September (13 weeks – 4 months)

It doesn’t seem like a lot but everything is coming round so quickly at the moment once one thing happens I’ll be on the way to the next thing. Busy few months ahead.

I really thought my knee issue was sorted, doesn’t feel like it right now. It keeps swelling up then going back down. I seriously don’t want this to start happening again especially as I want to get back into football; it will make playing ten times more difficult. Might not be able to do it if it keeps up. Oh well that’s life.

Not been a very exciting day. I’m really bored and not looking forward to tomorrow.

Love you so much baby xxx

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you.
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new.
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I love you more.
- - -Beatles "In My Life"

my love is so big for you

Well today has been pretty good, got Iyaz’s album, which is amazing, did some stuff on Photoshop and ordered my new phone even though I only just got a new one the difference being I won’t be spending a fortune on credit £10 a month unlimited texts rather than £15 a week which will be way better.

But it’s been really boring without Scott, wish I was still with him.

It was good to talk to him on the phone though.

Might need to go to the doctors, hope not though...

So can’t wait to get my new phone.

Love you babe, hopefully it won’t be too long till we see each other again xxx

This is Where I Belong

Back home after a 7 hour car journey! I’m pretty sure we got stuck at every road works, and in every traffic jam possible.

But I have had a really amazing week! Seeing Scott is the best reason not to spend half term revising and I’m so glad we went. It’s been so good, wish I was still there to be honest, it’s really boring without him and I miss him so much already.

My mum was not happy when we got back and my sister hadn’t watered her plants.

I get to sleep in a proper bed tonight though, the one thing about home I’ve missed.

Wish I was still with him...

…but it’s been such an amazing week with him

 

 

 

I love you xxxx

 

 

 

Wish I was back with him, so can’t wait till I can drive!