Monday 28 February 2011

Oh yeaah...

I forgot to say in my post HI to all my new followers, then again I guess it's nice to say it in a seperate post!

I've reached 16! can't believe it. Thank you to everyone who is reading this!

-over&out-

Catch up time!!


I haven’t post much at all of the last few days... sorry. Although this does mean I have quite a bit to fill you all in so this post maybe quite long.

Scott is back from Florida now, it sounds like he had a good time, which is good. I definitely think not talking has made me realise how much our relationship means to me, plus it’s got rid of some of the
 stupid little arguments we were having before and we have finally got back to our relationship being good again... finally!

I am definitely going to be seeing Scott at Easter, which is going to be really good especially as we haven’t been able to see each other since the Christmas holidays.  When we see each other we’ll have been together for a year, which I personally think is quite good considering the distance and how much we’ve been through! Only 6 weeks on Wednesday until we’re together again.

Today I had to go into college on an inset day, meaning everyone else was off and I got selected to go in and be part of the student feedback committee. Surprisingly it was actually quite enjoyable! I was there to say what I thought about the AS ICT course along with 5 other people from other classes. We covered quite a lot in the hour and a half we were there, plus we’ve convinced to teachers to offer some trips to go with the course so it will be interesting to see if this actually happens. This will be great to add to my CV and to put on my university applications not to mentions the 15 enrichment credits and £10 we got for attending! Not bad really for an hour and a half. Although I did end up walking home in the rain, well part of the way. I walked to my dad’s work and got a lift home from him as my sister’s car wouldn’t start and she was supposed to pick me up. But the walk was quite fun and I’ll probably actually do it in the summer as it didn’t actually take that long once I got going.

Tomorrow I’m off college again which means I’ll be tackling the mountain of college work I have accumulated before half term, it’ll probably take all day...

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Wednesday 23 February 2011

Positive thinking is the way forward!

The weather has been horrible today, so I’ve did what I’ve been doing all week, I stayed in. BUT I have made some progress with fl studio which is a piece of software for making music there’s links and stuff in my twitter if you’re interested...

Generally there hasn’t been a lot happening, Scott comes back from Florida tomorrow, I can’t wait to be able to talk to him properly again.

I’m so glad I’ve got out of that really bad mood I was in a week or so ago because I now feel all positive about everything and I’m really looking forward to the future.

Waterloo road is on tonight, it’s getting quite good at the moment.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Monday 21 February 2011

Things are slowing down

There hasn’t been much going on the last few days to be honest.

I finished my business plan today which means I can finally start working on all the graphics stuff which is the things I love doing and I’m good at! Things seem to be heading in the right direction for the time being.

Scott rang me today for about 2 minutes, sounds like he’s having a good time. But I still can’t wait for him to come back so we can talk properly.

Not a lot else to talk about really.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Saturday 19 February 2011

Things just keep getting better

Today has been really good, and I mean even better than normal I didn’t think I would be saying this but things seem to be getting better all the time for me and it feels great!


I’m working on my business plan at the moment and I’m just over half way through it. I’m not trying to create an empire just an income for myself, so I’m setting up my own hand car washing business hopefully I will be able to get it off the ground.

Whilst we were out and about we had a look at some boxing gyms, I think I have possibly found one that I’ll be able to go to although I need to make some further enquiries tomorrow. I know boxing and girls but it’s something I’ve been contemplating for ages and something I’ve always been interested in so it’s about time I get into it, plus it’ll be a good way to stay in shape.

The family came over tonight and it was good to see them especially as we had a laugh as usual.

Not a lot else to say really, apart from being mega tired!

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Half term has started and loads of good things are happening!

Well, it definitely feels weird not waking up and talking to Scott and talking to him before I sleep... really weird. I got a text from him yesterday saying that he was having a good time and that he misses me I couldn’t reply because of my contract charges a fortune for international calls a texts and I think my dad would probably eat me alive if I replied and ran up a huge bill.

I’m still in this crazy good mood at the moment where everything feels right and like it is heading in the right direction for a change!

I didn’t go bell ringing last night because my dad is ill and there isn’t much two people can do so it got cancelled.

I was talking to Elliot last night and we had a good chat, I was really bored so we talked for most of the night and had a laugh. Scott hates the fact that I talk to him but nothing will happen between me and Elliot because I’m with Scott and I love him not Elliot so he has nothing to worry about!

My sister ordered me two books during the week on Amazon and they both arrived yesterday which is great timing for half term one of the being a revision guide which will really help me out and the other a book about starting a business with no money which is definitely going to help me with my idea.

Basically last night while I was flicking through that book I found a few business ideas that would be quite easy to set up and one of them I’m actually going to try doing. My sister and parents said they would load me the money to get the things I need to start up, so basically a business loan, on the condition I create a business plan and everything first. I’m already started on doing it! I can’t wait to see how it goes.

We have family round tonight which Is always a laugh so I can’t wait!

My dad is ill at the moment and not in a very good mood and so he’s taking everything out on me... which sucks but then he’ll have to make it up to me when he feels better and feels bad about it.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Thursday 17 February 2011

Remember, Girl we can be miles apart and no matter where you are you’'ll always be in my heart

Today has like so many days recently been fairly positive, which has continued my positive mood!

Scott went off to Florida today which means we won’t speak for a week. I think Elliot seems to be taking advantage of this time to be my ‘shoulder to cry on’ although I quite bluntly said it wasn’t going to happen.

I had a regular day at college, basically spent most of the day with Lizzie.

Finished the day with parents evening which for some reason I was dreading, in the end it turned out I didn’t need to as all my teachers where saying I was a great student and I have the capability to achieve really high grades! This is a massive bonus for me as I need the high grades to get into uni. Although I have been told I need to put some more effort in on the theory side of some of my subjects which with me is always obvious so I’m going to start setting time aside for purely doing college work at home without any distractions no phone calls, texts, social network sites, just me and my college work!

Tomorrow is the last day before half term and a short day for me which is always good and a bonus that it is on the last day of term.

Not a lot else has happened really.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Title: Chris Brown – Last Time Together

Wednesday 16 February 2011

Life is good right now and I don’t want it to change!

Today at college has been a pretty good day, loads of banter flying around in every class and in all my frees. I love days like that.

The Brits last night were really good, anyone that missed them really did miss out! James Corden did really good at hosting them and was really funny. The live performances were amazing too; Take That, Plan B, and Cee Lo Green were defiantly the best though. It’s one of the events I’ll want to be at one year! But £65 a ticket might take a while till I fulfil that one...

My friendship group at college is getting bigger all the time which is great. I feel like it’s more me and I’m way more positive than I was before. It doesn’t mean I’ll be amazingly happy about being there every single day but I definitely feel more positive about it.

Scott goes to Florida tomorrow and we’ve hardly spoken today and we won’t speak till he comes back next Thursday... the joys of a long distance relationship, don’t get to see each other so it feels worse in a way when one of you goes away because you don’t get to talk. But in a way I think it will do us good because it means we’ll hopefully be able to get away from all the arguing and hopefully value our relationship a lot more.

Well I have plenty of things to keep me busy over the next week:

Parents evening tomorrow night – I’m dreading it because I can’t really tell if my teachers like me or not.... so it could be interesting. It also means I’m at college till really late too.

Saturday – my auntie, uncle and cousin are coming over that we usually go on holiday with and they are bringing their dogs. I’m more excited about the dogs’ part than them, that sounds really bad but they have a new puppy, well it’s a bit older than a puppy, but it’s really cute and I didn’t get to see it at new year because I was at Scott’s so I’m really looking forward to seeing it.

Then at some point I’m hopefully going out with mates and stuff and maybe Lizzie’s for a Chinese and to get drunk, if it gets organise. People probably think the whole get drunk part is stupid but sometimes it can be a laugh especially when you’re at the tipsy stage. I’m not saying you should go out and get fully plastered just saying it can be good fun.

Plus I’m going to have to fit in some extra college work to keep me on track so that I will be able to pass my summer exams. As well as trying to find more jobs to apply for.

Then when I get back to college I have about 6/7 weeks until Easter which is a nice two week break when I will hopefully get to see Scott which I’m looking forward to because I really miss him and really want to see him.

I’m so happy at the moment its crazy I don’t think I’ve been this happy for ages!

Waterloo road tonight then bed, in order to be ready for a packed day at college... Well not packed but busy, especially media.

I had a good chat with people tonight and found a new side to some people, a good side!

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Tuesday 15 February 2011

Start looking to the future and being more positive!

Right now I’ve become all positive about everything.

My business teacher is really trying to convince me to do a course to do with business at uni apparently I have that kind of brain and the ability to do well. It made me feel kind of good about myself to know that someone believes in me and I’m really considering this even though it means I’ll have to get two A’s and one B but if I put in the work I’m sure I’ll be able to get it. I guess I also have the motivation to want to do it now as well and work hard to get the grades, it will mean I do less messing around doing nothing and instead start putting in a lot more extra work, revision and generally working harder but I’m willing to do that because this is something I really want.

Today has been a pretty good day in general really. Everything seems to have a positive side to it at the moment and seems to be moving pretty well, which is always a bonus.

It’s really weird to think that this time next year I’ll be getting close to sitting my last exams and then going on to uni in the September. Everything is moving really fast and I can’t wait for it especially to be able to live on my own and hopefully closer to Scott. I love everything about the south of the UK and the idea of living near the sea seems like a GREAT idea to me to be honest. Plus there is the whole bonus of a completely fresh start.

I’m just feeling good about everything and really want to work hard to making this all happen now, I guess it’s time to knuckle down and really work hard to get the grades!

.... but not before I’ve watched The Brits!!

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Monday 14 February 2011

Valentine’s Day sucks… BIG TIME

Well its official Valentine’s Day sucks. BIG TIME.

Well everything has basically gone from bad to worse.

Well I guess it started out pretty good waking up to a long text from Scott saying how much he loves me.

But then...

My boyfriend lives over four hours away. I spend the whole day with couples how tell me how amazing it is to be with their other half and about their plans for the day etc. Then I get home and hardly speak to him all evening and then he rings me, and we end up arguing. Really great.

You know exactly how I thought the day would go. Not....

He even said that he would come and see me the weekend after valentine’s day but he’s actually in Florida got my hopes up for that one but there again I’ve been doing that a lot recently.

Apply for every job that’s advertised for part time work, when I think I might actually have a hope of getting one... I don’t, sometimes I feel like giving up...

A nice depressing post, sort of had to get it out, sometimes crying just doesn’t cut it.

I really care about him and i though he knew that but i actually don’t think he does. Well he evens says that he doesn’t so you know that helps that one.

I really hate the distance and it seems like that seems to be tearing us apart at the moment. Not really what I thought would happen after everything else we’ve been through together. I’m trying everything to show him that I care but I don’t win either way.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Saturday 12 February 2011

Sometimes life comes into question and everything in it

Well not a lot really to say, hence the lack of posts. I haven’t really felt like myself the last couple of days; things keep happening and making me question everything and if there is a point to anything anymore.

I’ve been applying for job after job after job, but that doesn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Yet my parents are still on my case about it, I can’t really do much more than apply if I’m honest.

Life is pretty boring at the moment. Through the lack of finding a job and the excessive amounts of college work everything seems to be feeling a little bit rubbish to put it simply.

The best way to solve all of this, take away, dvd, and my bed. Seems like the best plan at the moment.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Wednesday 9 February 2011

Plans for the summer

I’m in such a crazy good mood at the moment it’s insane.

Me and my friends have decided we’re all going to go on holiday in the summer together, and hopefully Scott will come too! Two weeks, surfing, beach, friends and the boyfriend what could be more fun! Me and Hannah have looked into it all and hopefully we can convince Milly to come with us because she doesn’t want to go camping, but it’s the cheapest option and we think it’ll be the best option especially as it’s so close to the beach! I really hope it happens!

Today was a good day at college, pretty average but had a laugh with everyone about nothing, but it was really good.

Me and Scott are really good still, which is a bonus.

Everything is all really good.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Monday 7 February 2011

Things are on the up again!

Today had been quite a good day; I only had two lessons which was pretty good!

I had my ILP this afternoon and my media lesson was cancelled because of it so I took all of my media notes and props for nothing which annoyed me a bit. Although it has been quite good and soem of it was quite funny, we had 3 different things we had to do, our ILP interview with our tutor basically talking about college and that kind of thing like our progress and grades, then I had to do student feedback basically talking about what we would improve and what we liked about our college and then I did this careers thing which basically suggested what career you would be good at after asking you a whole bunch of questions.

Me and Scott had a really long talk about the future and what we both want to do, I now know for sure what I want to do and where I’m heading so that’s definitely good. Although Scott seems to be sacrificing something he wants so that he can see me more which I don’t want him to do at all! But as long as he’s sure that he wants to do it and that he will be happy I can’t force him to do anything, and him being happy is what I want. He’s going to Florida a week on Thursday and I’m really going to miss talking to him but I really hope that he has a good time and really enjoys it!

I’m hoping to maybe be able to go to America next summer but that all depends on my being able to get a job to be able to fund it and being able to get past the interview for it as I want to be able to do Camp America as one or the counsellors. It looks AMAZING as I will be able to combine my ambitions of going and visiting America and discovering new places with my love or meeting new people! Although it will be for 9 weeks... and I need to raise around £800/ £900 to go although the overall experience will be worth it. This is definitely motivating me to find a part time job!

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I’ve started actually using my Vinspired account now; it’s basically a website which enables you to find volunteering opportunities more easily. I’ve logged my first hour today as well as signing up to several other opportunities. I managed to record that hour as I have signed up for this program where you e-mail or write to terminally ill children, the first person I have written to is a boy called Adam and in my free at college tomorrow I’m going to write an e-mail to a girl called Laura. It’s actually a lot harder than you would think especially trying to find the right things to say! My aim is to gain 50 hours of volunteering so that I can get my first award through the website and then I can work towards my next 50 and so on. You can also get more hours by other volunteering outside of the site as well so I’m going to look into this as well. This will look good on both my personal statement for college and for my CV for work.

Another day at college tomorrow... and it’s a long day... but things are starting to have a positive outlook now and so many things to look forward to and work towards now too!

Laterz xo

I love you xxxxxxxxx

Sunday 6 February 2011

I hate being ill :(

Well I haven’t written anything for the last few days, it’s been busy and I’ve been ill...

I went ringing as I usually do on Friday although we didn’t really do much I got another exercise book thingy and I have to write out the method for playing hunt.

I haven’t been in college since Wednesday as I had a really bad cold so I’m going back tomorrow, hopefully I don’t have too much work to do.

I spent the whole of Saturday tidying and rearranging my room, it actually worked out really well and there is definitely a lot more space, plus there is now room for where the vivarium will go. Although I did hurt my back in the process which hasn’t been too great as I can’t bend down and it hurts to sit or lay down, so I can’t really do much.

I really can’t wait for my 18th as I’m getting my bearded dragon, I’m finding out loads of stuff about them and how to look after them best. Me and my dad are going to build the vivarium over the next few months as it will be cheaper and we can make it fit the space and look way better than an ordinary tank!

Me and Scott are definitely back on track, and we have reached 10 months together today! It’s really hard not being able to see him, and Easter feels like years away yet but it will be worth the wait once we get to see each other, we just have to keep it together until then. Plus hopefully this time next year I will be starting to get ready to sit my exams in my last year which will determine whether the distance between us will get smaller, I’m hoping to get into Bournemouth which is ALOT closer to him which means we’ll be able to see each other way more. But I’m really glad things are good between us again, and that we’ve got back to how we used to be.

Not a lot else to say really.

Laterz xo

Love you, thank you for 10 amazing months. I can’t wait for the rest of our future together! xxxx

Friday 4 February 2011

For the love of Harry Potter

Basically I found these’ rules’ and thought they were pretty funny:

1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
5. I will not go to class skyclad.
6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hard core".
8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins.
10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.
13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.
16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall
17. Or anywhere else for that matter.
18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.
21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.
25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.
28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.
32. I will not kiss Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing.
37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.
38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.
39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.
52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.
53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.
54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".
55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones".
56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".
57. The Malfoys are not Draka.
58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword.
59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.
60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.
61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.
62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.
63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".
64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.
65. I will not refer to the hippogriff as "Horseybird".
66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
67. -Or any other Slytherin.
68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.
69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.
70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.
71. -I am not a Professor, at all.
72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.
73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.
74. -It was not an honest mistake.
74. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.
76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.
77. -Or the teacher laundry.
78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.
79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.
80. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.
81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present.
82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.
83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.
84. -Charming the label does not change anything.
85. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.
86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.
87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.
88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.
89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.
90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.
91. -Testing this last is not funny.
92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.
93. May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.
94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.
95. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."
96. May not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor or Slytherin House in Harry Potter's Year are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true.
97. I am not possesed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth.
98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.
99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.
100. -Especially if I can't.
101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."
102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.
103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".
104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".
105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.
107. I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.
108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.
109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.
110. House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.
111. A wand is for magic only; it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.
113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."
114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.
115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."
117. Neville is not my valet.
118. When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."
119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.
121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.
122. Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.
123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.
124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.
125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.
126.-And I should stop insisting there is.
127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.
128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's Homeboy."
129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support.
130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."
131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, "There can be only ONE!"
132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie."
133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.
134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.
135. I must not start a "Veterinarian for Minister of Magic" campaign.
136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.
137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.
138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of "intelligent design."
139. The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid.
140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom of the Opera."
141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine."
142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.
143. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.
145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".
146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.
147. -I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.
148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.
149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".
150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a ___ out of my hat!" during Charms class.
151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts."
153. "Putting down Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.
154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.
155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".
156. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.
157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams.
158. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".
159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.
160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy."
161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.
162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris.
163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels".
164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.
165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and shampoo for Christmas.
166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.
167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.
168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.
169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.
170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler or Osama bin Laden.
171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.
172. I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink.
173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.
174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.
175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.
177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.
178. Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.
179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.
180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.
181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger.
182. I may not have a private army.
183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.
184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.
185. I must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.
186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.
187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.
188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
189. Portable Swamps are not funny.
190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters or other sensitive documents in them.
191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.
192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.
193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.
194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.
195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.
196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.
197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.
198. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.
199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.
200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.
201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.
202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge.
203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.
204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.
205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.
206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.
207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created by the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of Magical Creatures Class.
208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not one and the same.
209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.
210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.
211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.
212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.
213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.
214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.
215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle car (especially a Delorean DMC).
216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
217. I will not levitate anywhere in a big pink bubble.
218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.
219. No part of the school uniform is edible.
220. -Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.
221. Not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".
222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.
223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".
224. -Nor Professor Snape.
225. Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
226. -Not allowed to use silencing charms my Prefects.
227. -Not allowed to use silencing charms, period.
228. Not allowed to prophesize the end of the world more than once.
229. Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.
230. -Especially not if I actually have them.
231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.
232. -Also will not ask her to fly under the influence.
233. Will not try to recreate the Whomping Willow in herbology class.
234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.
235. Will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.
236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.
237. I am not allowed to charm the words Ferret Boy onto Dracos forehead.
238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.
239. -Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.
240. Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.
241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the reading list for muggle studies.
242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.
243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.
244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.
245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.
246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.
247. I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.
248. -Even if my prefect did it.
249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open robe & tie" and call it an authorized uniform.
250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.
251. When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.
252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.
253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl."
254. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.
255. - The same goes for Hermione.
256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the position.
257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.
258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.
259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.
260. I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.
261. - Especially not all of them at once.
262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."
263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos."
264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not comment about how the Minister of Magic is "packing."
265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.
266. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.
267. - Likewise the satellite dish.
268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin boys if they've mastered it yet.
269. The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.
270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.
271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the Wolfsbane potion every month.
272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'.
273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'.
274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.
275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.
276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during dinner in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'
277. I am not to sing 'We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!' when sent to the Headmaster's office'.
278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.
279. -Especially not with kazoos.
280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.
281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.
282. When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.
283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.
284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'
285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.
286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.
287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'
288. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'
289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.
290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.
291. -Or Wicca.
292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.
293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.
294. -Or the referee.
295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.
296. I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum.
297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.
298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.
299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.
300. -Neither is Professor Snape.
301. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.
302. The house elves are not there to do my homework.
303. Neither are the ghosts.
304. I am not a magical creature.
305. I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.
306. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.
307. Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die.
308. Seamus Finnegan does not have a pot of gold under his bed.
309. -Or under his robe.
310. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.
311. Grindewald is not my role model.
312. -Neither is Voldemort.
313. I will not cast "Petrificus Totalus" on myself in order to avoid going to classes.
314. I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.
315. -Including my own.
316. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.
317. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.
318. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts.
319. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.
320. I will not attempt to make Professor's Trelawney's predictions come true.
321. Professor Snape's problem is not that "he needs to get laid".
322. Draco Malfoy is not a ferret animagus.
323. Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.
324. -Though they are doubtlessly more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.
325. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.
326. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.
327. Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.
328. Regardless of how much Professor Snape's hair might annoy me, it is inappropriate to sneak into his room at night and shave it off.
329. -Likewise, it is unkind to make the aforementioned hair into a wig and wear it to potions class.
330. -Nobody cares that it makes me feel "pretty".
331. Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.
332. Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.
333. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
334. I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.
335. "OMGWTF" is not a spell.
336. Cornelius Fudge does not appreciate being called "Fudgie the Whale."
337. Shouting "Accio Dobby!" is not the proper way to get house-elf assistance.
338. I will not go into Dumbledore's pensieve looking for graphic faculty smut.
339. It is not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
340. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.
341. The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".
342. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss.
343. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
344. I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in the showers.
345. I am not allowed to forget my Omnioculars in either the boys' or the girl's bathroom. Especially not while they are in recording mode.
346. I am not allowed to leave the catnip out in Professor McGonagall's class.
347. I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.
348. I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is "compensating for something".
349. I will not give Professor McGonagall catnip, hairball medicine or string for Christmas, no matter how much I think she will like them.
350. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore. Even if it would be amusing.
351. -Not even if I want to try to convince others he's going senile.
352. I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies. Nor will I ask it of Professor McGonagall.
353. I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.
354. Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.
355. Telling people that Professor Snape is an animagus and turns into a snake is not recommended.
356. Please do not tell first years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl.
357. I will not get a muggle tattoo artist to tattoo the Dark Mark on any part of my body.
358. I will not tell first year Hufflepuffs that the Dark Lord eats Hufflepuffs for breakfast. Or any other meal. And then tell them that if they inform anyone of the warning the Dark Lord will choose them next.
359. Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes it.
360. Please stop telling first years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student.
361. I am not to "walk on water" in front of muggles.
362. I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms.
363. I am not to tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights of Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have my friends/other people to call Ni from various directions.
364. Draco Malfoy is not a vampire.
365. -Especially not a vampire named 'Spike'.
366. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.
367. Pinning Confederate flags to the backs of Death Eater masks is not wise.
368. Voldemort does not wish to appear in a Visine commercial.
369. -Or as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics.
370. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, "Avada Kedavra" does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.
371. The ceiling of the Great Hall would not look better as an Omni IMAX dome.
372. Calling Voldemort "Baldemort" is inappropriate.
373. When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is "42".
374. I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.
375. Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.
376. -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.
377. Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.
378. I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.
379. Cannot lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.
380. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom.
381. Cannot charm all dictionaries to have: "Gryffindor" as the definition of "gullible."
382. Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.
383. Robes are not optional.
384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.
385. There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".
386. -Even if I do conjure him up.
387. Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Harry" in Neville Longbottom's books is both unfunny and cruel.
388. I will not sing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song when the Weasley family passes by.
389. -Or the "Hee-Haw" theme song.
390. -Or "Eight is Enough".
391. Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised.
392. Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable.
393. I will not ask the school to sponsor a break dancing crew.
394. Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.
395. Getting Colin Creevey drunk and steering him toward a sleeping Harry Potter is just a bad idea all around.
396. -Then using his camera to take incriminating photos is not nice.
397. Coming up behind Harry while he and Draco are glowering at each other and saying "Oh, go on and kiss him already!" is not funny.
398. -Even if Luna Lovegood does say, "Yes, I thought so too."
399. I am not a Balrog animagus.
400. The house never did fall on Professor Umbridge's sister, nor is she suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result.
401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.
402. I will not ask people what their demons are.
403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna.
404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.
405. I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.
406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.
407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.
408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with apples.
409. Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes.
410. -Neither is Dracula.
411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.
412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.
413. Using the "Petrificus Totalus" curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas present to the House means you should watch your back until June.
414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.
415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.
416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.
417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school".
418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste better when one eats a whole handful simultaneously.
419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.
420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint.
421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASH SLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"
422. I will not give Hagrid Poke'mon cards and convince him that they are real animals.
423. -Likewise, I will not tell first year Muggle-borns that Poke'mon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures curriculum.
424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.
425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".
426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".
427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.
428. The Crucible is not summer reading for History of Magic, and I should not tell first years that it is.
429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.
430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.
431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.
432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.
433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.
434. - I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.
435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror".
436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.
437. -Especially if he's wearing it.
438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.
439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.
440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor or any similar character is not an appropriate subject for a Muggle Studies essay.
441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.
442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and Darryl.
443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".
444. -Even if that is an accurate description.
445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.
446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
447. I am not allowed to spank others.
448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.
449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.
450. -This goes double for superglue.
451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.
452. -Or on the grounds.
453. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.
454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.
455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.
456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe."
457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.
458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide said service.
459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet."
460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form.
461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"
462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.
463. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
464. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.
465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look more like Orlando Bloom.
466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season.
467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".
468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.
469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and Magenta.
470. -Especially to their faces.
471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.
472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'
473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'
474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'
475. Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them "With Love, Draco Malfoy" is not appropriate.
476. -Neither is signing them with: "I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.".
477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable.
478. -Especially if the song is "I feel pretty, oh so pretty".
479. Or "I'm too sexy".
480. I am not a "ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter" and should stop shouting this at meal times.
481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a "pimp cane".
482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?"
483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.
484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says "All the good-looking ones die young" with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.
485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.
486. -Especially if it's not true.
487. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.
488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details
489. A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.
490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.
491. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.
492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.
493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them, and I should stop hoping for such an occurance.
494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.
495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers.
496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around singing "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".
497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting, even if they want to.
498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.
499. -Or Harry and Draco.
500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.
501. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.
502. -Changing the location does not make it appropriate.
503. -No matter how much money I make.
504. Murmuring I see dead people every time I see one of the ghosts is stupid and was never funny.
505. I am not funny. No matter how much I make myself laugh.
506. Even though Voldemort does give his followers rings, he is not Captain Planet and none of the Death Eaters have powers in wind, water, earth, fire,or heart!.
507. Calling Lucius Malfoy a luscious mouthful is just plain gross.
508. - It is especially wrong when I call him that around Draco.
509. - Or Narcissa.
510. Yelling"BOO! "at Professor Moody is not wise.
511. I am not allowed to ask any of the Malfoys if it's "true that blondes have more fun"
512. I am not allowed to use the superglue spell to stick Harry and Draco's hands together.
513. When in the presence of the Dark Lord, I must mustn't call him The Dark Lord. Not 'Snake-Face, the Dark Lord Happy Pants'.
514. -Laughing at the Dark Lord's voice is not smart.
515. -Telling the Dark Lord where he can stick it is... not smart.
516. -No matter what I say to the Dark Lord, I will never make him laugh.
517. When surrounded by Death Eaters I will not brandish my wand like a sword and shout "Aye! Avast!"
518. Jumping up on a table during dinner and singing "La Vie Boheme" is more likely to confuse my enemies than chase them out of the Great Hall. Besides, I probably won't have anyone else join in, which takes some of the fun out of it.
519. Attempting to sell your soul to the Dark Lord is forbidden.
520. - So is selling anyone else's soul.
521. Draco Malfoy's name is not Westley, nor the Dread Pirate Roberts, and I should stop referring to him as such.
522. -I must not set a ROUS on him to test this.
523. -Even if he is willing to jump down a hill screaming "Aaas yoooou wiiiiisssshhhh!"
524. I am not allowed to tell the first years that Werewolves are cute and cuddly.
525. -Especially when Lupin is teaching.
526. I am not allowed to scowl at the firsties.
527. -Especially the Hufflepuffs.
528. -Especially in when I am in my Lord Voldemort costume.
529. Saying the Dark Mark should be the Slytherin Crest is wrong.
530. - Especially in front of Slytherins.
531. - Especially in front of Snape.
532. - Double especially in front of Snape during potions.
533. I am not to wear my DEATH EATER AND PROUD OF IT! shirt to school.
534. I am not allowed to declare "Official Hug A Slytherin Day."
535. There is no connection between Hitler and Voldemort.
536. I will not sing "Defying Gravity" during Quidditch practice.
537. I am not allowed to teach "I Feel Pretty" to Professor Lockhart.
538. I am not allowed to sing "Angel of Music" to all the mirrors in school to see if anyone sings back.
539. I am not allowed to say "Shiiire...Baaaagiiiins..." around dementors.
540. I am not allowed to call Dumbledore, "the Great and Powerful Oz" or "Gandalf".
541. I am not allowed "just make sure" that there aren't any hentai vidoes starring the Giant Squid. 542.- I am not allowed to tell first years to be my fact-checkers on the last. 543. I may not write notes to Filch saying " Was wondering if you could sweep up in the dungeon with me, you sexy beast." And sign it "your master, Severus".
544. Especially if you put "p.s.Bring a first year this time, slave." at the end.
545. I am not allowed to post "I am hot for hippogriffs!" on Hagrid's door.
546. Luna doesn't like it when you place her sneakers on top of doorways, it's not amusing anymore.

Thursday 3 February 2011

A day with my positive than bad, always a plus

Today has been good and bad.

The good stuff happened before the bad so I’ll start with that. My mum has agreed to getting me a bearded dragon for my 18th as long as I do some things in return:

1. I have to start going to college regularly, meaning no days off if I feel tired, or if I feel bogged down by college

2. I have to keep my grades up at college as well

3. I have to find a part time job so that I am able to fee the dragon and look after it properly once I have it.

I know I’m capable of all of that the only problem is finding a job. There are no jobs anywhere at the moment and the fact anywhere I do apply to apparently I am unemployable due to a lack of experience in everything and anything. But how am I supposed to get that experience if no one will employ me!

The bad part being Scott told his friends about getting into a football team before me, apparently me knowing isn’t important, I thought things between us were improving, but they can’t be if he’s doing this again. I properly wouldn’t have even been told unless I hadn’t been sent the text by mistake.

Today has been quite productive I have found what I want to do at uni which will give me something to aim for and I saw my grandparents who apparently think I’m getting married really soon. Plus the deal I made with my Mum, all in all pretty good.

Tomorrow is my last day off from college – so let’s hope I get over this illness soon

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Wednesday 2 February 2011

Life can be really tough sometimes…

Lady Gaga
taught me that it's okay to be different,
Ke$ha
taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks,
Bruno Mars
taught me to do anything for that one person I love,
Eminem
taught me that life is hard, but you can make it through,
Taylor Swift
taught me not every guy is going to treat me right,
Michael Jackson
taught me to always love the people around me.
Music
taught me how to live. ♥

This whole emotional wreck thing is starting to do my head in, I never used to be like this, things never used to get to me this much, I never used to freak out over the littlest things so much... I guess that’s what life does to you.

I have had to take yet another day off from college, it’s starting to do my head in. I hate being ill and right now I feel like rubbish.

I had someone I don’t even know have a go at me last night telling me that I’d said things that I hadn’t, yes that person was Scott’s ex, I really hate that as soon as things are going good between us again someone has to come along and ruin it, it always happens.

When I’m feeling like this I always wonder what the point of actually being happy is because whenever you seem to be feeling good about things something or someone always manages to bring you down.

I didn’t get the job I applied for. So it looks like I’m definitely staying at college.

All my holidays are still really empty at the moment, and I’m trying to find ways to fill them but I can’t seem to come up with any ideas.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Tuesday 1 February 2011

It’s been a long day!

2 days, 2 people, 2 hospitals. Scott was in hospital yesterday and my brother was in today. Basically he collapsed at school and landed face first; I don’t quite know how that happens but yeah it did! Although this event of the day meant I didn’t have to wait for my bus as my parents and my brother were still in hospital when I finished college which meant I walked down and met them and got a lift home, this was way better than waiting for my bus in the cold especially when it is usually late.

I am making a massive u-turn decision about leaving college, after this week I’ve realised how much having or not having these qualifications will affect my life. I’ve now decided I’m going to sit the rest of college out and aim to go to university like I originally planned. I know that I can achieve really high grades which mean that I will be able to get into a good university. I’m really interested in the media courses and I’m looking into them because they seem to be more ‘me’.

Me and Scott have sorted everything out now we had a massive talk last night and we’re sorting things out and everything is getting back to how we should be without all the arguing.

Today has felt really long and has been dragged out by the fact I’m ill, which isn’t particularly great! I just need to go to bed…

Plus my parents have agreed to me getting a bearded dragon for my 18th in November as long as I find out everything about them and how to look after them properly.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx