Some people are really pathetic, I mean I think it’s time you all grew up, well those 3 people!
Got the glee vol. 2 today, it’s actually quite good!
I miss my baby :(
Max has been making weird comments lately :/
Anyways that’s it
Laterz x
Love you xx
Showing posts with label arguements. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arguements. Show all posts
Monday, 22 March 2010
Wednesday, 17 March 2010
don't you hate it when it's like this
Cause I remember every word that you said
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you
The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never thought that I would miss
All the things I used to complain about you
The football games, the hometown friends
I'm was glad to see it end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you?
Ooo oh, Oooh, Yeah,
Here it comes again
That song has a lot of meaning to me sometimes...
I know this will sound weird but since me a Louis broke up it's been easier for us to talk about things, I miss that about him just sitting talking or going for one of those long walks...
I know I and Scott have something really good, but I do miss being able to be with my boyfriend and just spending time together.
I do care about Scott a lot and I know this doesn't seem fair on him to say this, but I just need to get it out of my head.
Today I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking things over and over again. Sometimes I feel like history is repeating itself, being back with Scott was meant to be a fresh start for us both but the same problems came back. I don't know why but when things like this happen you question your decision in the first place, I knew it was going to be hard with the distance but I didn't think it would be like this. I hate comparing us to me and Louis but it is hard not being able to just go and see him, revise with him just being sat there, the little things that seem to make the difference. I hate the fact that we can't see each other when we want to. This was always going to be hard, but now it's just got a lot worse.
Memories are something we'll always have, and will never be able to forget...
I've got so much stuff going on in my head at the moment. It's crazy, I can't decide what’s for the best, I don't want to lose Scott, but it's triggered some really bad stuff at the moment.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Everything is confusing, I don't think that I have feelings for Louis anymore, I just miss what we had, and wish that I could have that sort of relationship with Scott. The distance causes so many problems. The thing is I’m 16 and he's 15 it would be different if I could drive and see each other every other weekend or something but we can't it months between when we can see each other, and to be honest you can't really call what we have a proper relationship when we don't see each other. Maybe this time I’m not really in it like I was the first time because of everything that has happened. I don’t know. In some ways I feel like by lying to me Scott has pushed me away, I feel like he didn’t feel like he could tell me the truth in the first place. I know I said that I wanted to us to move forward and forget about it, but when this has happened so many times before it’s hard to think that it won’t happen again. I knew that it was going to take a lot for us to work, so everything that goes wrong makes it so much harder and makes me regret wanting to try. I do care about Scott and always probably will, but in some ways I see us ending and not starting out.
oh this is not the way that it should end
it's the way it should begin
it's the way it should begin, again
no, I never wanna fall apart,
never wanna break your heart
never wanna let you break my own
yes, I know we've said a lot of things
that we probably didn't mean
but it's not too late to take them back
so, before you say you're gonna go..
I should probably let you know
that I never knew what I had...
I never knew what I had...
A lot of music says how I feel at the moment... maybe that’s a good thing... maybe it’s not...
At times I think it would have been easier to give Louis a proper chance and see if we could work out (that isn’t the right thing to say I know especially when I’m with Scott but I need to get everything out of my head) Everything seems to go round I circles.
Maybe one of my mates was right maybe I should have just drawn a line under both of them and moved on on my own. But at the time that’s not what I wanted, Scott and I started to get really close again, and I was able to trust him and be able to actually talk to him. In some ways what Louis said originally when Scott and I broke up the first time is true living so far apart with everything like this going on at the moment isn’t fair for either for either of us.
This blog really feels like I’m trying to talk myself out of being with Scott. That wasn’t what I was trying to do.
It's on the tip of my tongue but I'm still afraid
Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say
But I don't want to lose you, drive you away
I don’t want to confuse you, I need you to say only wish you knew what I wanted to say only wish you knew what I wanted to say
my hands are shaking
I’m yours for the taking
don’t you hesitate
please just do one thing
one small sign something
lets jump off the edge
At times being with Scott feels like the best thing in the world, but then there are times like this where I don’t have the power to think anymore because all I’ve done is think about how to work things out. Honestly I don’t want to lose Scott but, I can’t see a way to be able to trust him again, it will take time but that is going to be a really long time.
I don’t want us to end, I need a way to fix this but I can’t think of anything, I really don’t want us to end.
But without trust we really wont work.
I know that for sure.
But right now I feel like I’m being held down by something, if this isn’t a way to fix this then, I don’t see us going anywhere...
In some ways I miss me and Scott just being friends, without everything being complicated, and just being able to talk about everything.
This blog will probably tear him apart if he reads it, that wasn’t what it was supposed to do, as much as if probably seems like he doesn’t, he does mean a lot to me, and I really do a care about him a lot but right now he has really hurt me and I’ve tried to forget about everything but... I just can’t.
He says i mean a lot to hi, but hows that true when the first time round he went out with some one 3 hours after we split up... wasn't that hard for him...
I never lied to you, yet you can do it to me...
I never gave you a reason to doubt me, look who it is now...
You say i'm everything to you, how can that be?
Everyone sticks up for him, but no one can really see what it's doing to me and how its making me feel.
Laterz xx
Love you xxx
It all just keeps spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't want to think about you baby so much
All the things we did and the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
Forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around and forget, forget about you
Forget about me and you
The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never thought that I would miss
All the things I used to complain about you
The football games, the hometown friends
I'm was glad to see it end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you?
Ooo oh, Oooh, Yeah,
Here it comes again
That song has a lot of meaning to me sometimes...
I know this will sound weird but since me a Louis broke up it's been easier for us to talk about things, I miss that about him just sitting talking or going for one of those long walks...
I know I and Scott have something really good, but I do miss being able to be with my boyfriend and just spending time together.
I do care about Scott a lot and I know this doesn't seem fair on him to say this, but I just need to get it out of my head.
Today I’ve spent quite a bit of time thinking things over and over again. Sometimes I feel like history is repeating itself, being back with Scott was meant to be a fresh start for us both but the same problems came back. I don't know why but when things like this happen you question your decision in the first place, I knew it was going to be hard with the distance but I didn't think it would be like this. I hate comparing us to me and Louis but it is hard not being able to just go and see him, revise with him just being sat there, the little things that seem to make the difference. I hate the fact that we can't see each other when we want to. This was always going to be hard, but now it's just got a lot worse.
Memories are something we'll always have, and will never be able to forget...
I've got so much stuff going on in my head at the moment. It's crazy, I can't decide what’s for the best, I don't want to lose Scott, but it's triggered some really bad stuff at the moment.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Everything is confusing, I don't think that I have feelings for Louis anymore, I just miss what we had, and wish that I could have that sort of relationship with Scott. The distance causes so many problems. The thing is I’m 16 and he's 15 it would be different if I could drive and see each other every other weekend or something but we can't it months between when we can see each other, and to be honest you can't really call what we have a proper relationship when we don't see each other. Maybe this time I’m not really in it like I was the first time because of everything that has happened. I don’t know. In some ways I feel like by lying to me Scott has pushed me away, I feel like he didn’t feel like he could tell me the truth in the first place. I know I said that I wanted to us to move forward and forget about it, but when this has happened so many times before it’s hard to think that it won’t happen again. I knew that it was going to take a lot for us to work, so everything that goes wrong makes it so much harder and makes me regret wanting to try. I do care about Scott and always probably will, but in some ways I see us ending and not starting out.
oh this is not the way that it should end
it's the way it should begin
it's the way it should begin, again
no, I never wanna fall apart,
never wanna break your heart
never wanna let you break my own
yes, I know we've said a lot of things
that we probably didn't mean
but it's not too late to take them back
so, before you say you're gonna go..
I should probably let you know
that I never knew what I had...
I never knew what I had...
A lot of music says how I feel at the moment... maybe that’s a good thing... maybe it’s not...
At times I think it would have been easier to give Louis a proper chance and see if we could work out (that isn’t the right thing to say I know especially when I’m with Scott but I need to get everything out of my head) Everything seems to go round I circles.
Maybe one of my mates was right maybe I should have just drawn a line under both of them and moved on on my own. But at the time that’s not what I wanted, Scott and I started to get really close again, and I was able to trust him and be able to actually talk to him. In some ways what Louis said originally when Scott and I broke up the first time is true living so far apart with everything like this going on at the moment isn’t fair for either for either of us.
This blog really feels like I’m trying to talk myself out of being with Scott. That wasn’t what I was trying to do.
It's on the tip of my tongue but I'm still afraid
Sometimes the only things words do is get in the way
Sometimes the easiest things are the hardest to say
But I don't want to lose you, drive you away
I don’t want to confuse you, I need you to say only wish you knew what I wanted to say only wish you knew what I wanted to say
my hands are shaking
I’m yours for the taking
don’t you hesitate
please just do one thing
one small sign something
lets jump off the edge
At times being with Scott feels like the best thing in the world, but then there are times like this where I don’t have the power to think anymore because all I’ve done is think about how to work things out. Honestly I don’t want to lose Scott but, I can’t see a way to be able to trust him again, it will take time but that is going to be a really long time.
I don’t want us to end, I need a way to fix this but I can’t think of anything, I really don’t want us to end.
But without trust we really wont work.
I know that for sure.
But right now I feel like I’m being held down by something, if this isn’t a way to fix this then, I don’t see us going anywhere...
In some ways I miss me and Scott just being friends, without everything being complicated, and just being able to talk about everything.
This blog will probably tear him apart if he reads it, that wasn’t what it was supposed to do, as much as if probably seems like he doesn’t, he does mean a lot to me, and I really do a care about him a lot but right now he has really hurt me and I’ve tried to forget about everything but... I just can’t.
He says i mean a lot to hi, but hows that true when the first time round he went out with some one 3 hours after we split up... wasn't that hard for him...
I never lied to you, yet you can do it to me...
I never gave you a reason to doubt me, look who it is now...
You say i'm everything to you, how can that be?
Everyone sticks up for him, but no one can really see what it's doing to me and how its making me feel.
Laterz xx
Love you xxx
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
She says I want my love, Bring it back to me, I won't go anywhere, I need my baby
One thing I am sure of right now, is i deffinately don't want to loose scott, thats the last thing i want right now. He has really hurt me and really made me question if i can trust him anymore. I really thought this time would be different.
laterz xx
Monday, 15 March 2010
A lot to think about
Today, i havent really been replying to scotts texts, i guess i've bin spending way too much time thinking bout what jazz was saying last night. Especially as when i asked her when pearl started goin out with scott the first thing she said was about two timing, so that was probably true and he probably did cheat on me then, the fact that she said he was chatting her up, and had evidence for it.
I don't want another relationship where i have to keep forgiving the other person, thats all i seem to do and i can't have anymore things to worry about on top of my exams, and coursework.
I want to be with scott and i really do care about him and i'm pretty sure that i want us to be together for a lot longer.
From now i'm going to forget about everything that was said last night between me and jazz, that isn't important as i don't want other people coming in between us this time.
Hopefully we'll be able to see each other in easter, but that depends on my coursework at the moment. But i don't know if i'll be able to.
The scary thing is i really do like scott a lot more than i wish i did and i dunno what i feel for him isn't soemthing i've felt for anyone before.
This time we're together forever :)
Laterz x
Love you babe xxxx
I don't want another relationship where i have to keep forgiving the other person, thats all i seem to do and i can't have anymore things to worry about on top of my exams, and coursework.
I want to be with scott and i really do care about him and i'm pretty sure that i want us to be together for a lot longer.
From now i'm going to forget about everything that was said last night between me and jazz, that isn't important as i don't want other people coming in between us this time.
Hopefully we'll be able to see each other in easter, but that depends on my coursework at the moment. But i don't know if i'll be able to.
The scary thing is i really do like scott a lot more than i wish i did and i dunno what i feel for him isn't soemthing i've felt for anyone before.
This time we're together forever :)
Laterz x
Love you babe xxxx
Friday, 12 March 2010
Rachel Abedeji ha sactually made my night, twitcam is hilarious.
Had a really funny conversation with scott on the phone, and stacey. lol
Today i have realised that you will always have true friends who stand by you, and there'll be others who are friends when it suits them.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Louis:
i don't need you in my life anymore, so tbh i don't care anymore
Batherzbeaann:
cheer upp, you got people that care about you forget about the other people that make you feel crap, coz there the ones who you don't need :)
Scott:
I love you, and can't wait to see you babe :) forget about last night, i feel really bad about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I love the fact that you have so many people who are nice talking to your face but behind your back there bitches
laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx
Had a really funny conversation with scott on the phone, and stacey. lol
Today i have realised that you will always have true friends who stand by you, and there'll be others who are friends when it suits them.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Louis:
i don't need you in my life anymore, so tbh i don't care anymore
Batherzbeaann:
cheer upp, you got people that care about you forget about the other people that make you feel crap, coz there the ones who you don't need :)
Scott:
I love you, and can't wait to see you babe :) forget about last night, i feel really bad about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I love the fact that you have so many people who are nice talking to your face but behind your back there bitches
laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
one day you'll realise dat you'll be alright.
I think i have found my talent, writing, i dunno why but recently all i have been doin is sitting down and writing. I keep getting all these ideas in my head and i just seem to be able to write endlessly. One day hopefully i'll have a published book.
right now i have realised to appreciate what i've got. i'm always going to have arguments with people, it happens to everyone, so the best thing is to ignore the bitchy comments, there going to happen where ever i am, whatever i'm doing. I've got great friends and they really do balance out the people who hvae a dislike for me, they can keep me happy and they know what to say and when to say it. I have an amazing boyfriend and yeah i know we're only teenagers but what i feel for him i havent felt for anyone else, i am really lucky to have him and what we have. I couldn't bare to lose him.
Our exams are coming up and i am behind on a lot of coursework, not sure if i want to go to college anymore, but i'm gonna concentrate on getting it done.
today i've spent a lot of time thinking about me and him, i am truely lucky to have him, i just hope i can get the whole distance thing out of my head, especially after last night, i hated not being able to just be there for him, its hard, and i want to forget about the distance but i don't know if i'll be able to deal with it like i did last time. Especially after all the problems we went through last time, we both started turning to other people and he ended up turning and falling for someone else, all this stuff is going round in my head and i guess i can't break off from the past. It's tough and i want to make a fresh start with him, but this time we have a history together and we arent just starting out, its like it's different somehow. i'm not saying i dont care about him coz i do, i'm crazy about him, but things just seem different. I can't see it as a fresh start because it isn't. we don't have a proper relationship right now, coz of the distance, we can't actually see each other till the holidays and its goin to be like that till i can drive and then i'm going to have pressure from college. Hopefully i'll sort this out in my head. i don't want us to be over, thats the last thing i want, i just want a way of sortin this out in my head. to be able to forget about the distance, i really do appreciate having him in my life, i just wish it was easier... thats all
everything when your a teenager is drama... it needs to be simpler
laterz xxx
love you baby, things will be good soon, we'll be able to be together soon. for now all we can do is dream about being together xxxxx
right now i have realised to appreciate what i've got. i'm always going to have arguments with people, it happens to everyone, so the best thing is to ignore the bitchy comments, there going to happen where ever i am, whatever i'm doing. I've got great friends and they really do balance out the people who hvae a dislike for me, they can keep me happy and they know what to say and when to say it. I have an amazing boyfriend and yeah i know we're only teenagers but what i feel for him i havent felt for anyone else, i am really lucky to have him and what we have. I couldn't bare to lose him.
Our exams are coming up and i am behind on a lot of coursework, not sure if i want to go to college anymore, but i'm gonna concentrate on getting it done.
today i've spent a lot of time thinking about me and him, i am truely lucky to have him, i just hope i can get the whole distance thing out of my head, especially after last night, i hated not being able to just be there for him, its hard, and i want to forget about the distance but i don't know if i'll be able to deal with it like i did last time. Especially after all the problems we went through last time, we both started turning to other people and he ended up turning and falling for someone else, all this stuff is going round in my head and i guess i can't break off from the past. It's tough and i want to make a fresh start with him, but this time we have a history together and we arent just starting out, its like it's different somehow. i'm not saying i dont care about him coz i do, i'm crazy about him, but things just seem different. I can't see it as a fresh start because it isn't. we don't have a proper relationship right now, coz of the distance, we can't actually see each other till the holidays and its goin to be like that till i can drive and then i'm going to have pressure from college. Hopefully i'll sort this out in my head. i don't want us to be over, thats the last thing i want, i just want a way of sortin this out in my head. to be able to forget about the distance, i really do appreciate having him in my life, i just wish it was easier... thats all
everything when your a teenager is drama... it needs to be simpler
laterz xxx
love you baby, things will be good soon, we'll be able to be together soon. for now all we can do is dream about being together xxxxx
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
times like these
when i wish:
i could just be with scott, especially like now when he needs me, it hurts like hell to know that he's got all this stuff goin on and i can't be there for him.
i could just leave school and leave all the bitchyness behind
i could get a deal writing for some newspaper/ get my own stuff published coz thats what i do best... write. plus i'm pretty good a drawiing butt you knowww.
thinking of making a portfolio website :) but its gonna take a while to remember all the coding stuff...
my sisters goin fora uni open day and if she wakes me up at 3 in the morning tomorrow i wont be happy, but that means i wont have to go to school if she does....
can't be bothered wiv school anymore i just want to go to college and start driving.
laterz x
love you babe xxxx
i could just be with scott, especially like now when he needs me, it hurts like hell to know that he's got all this stuff goin on and i can't be there for him.
i could just leave school and leave all the bitchyness behind
i could get a deal writing for some newspaper/ get my own stuff published coz thats what i do best... write. plus i'm pretty good a drawiing butt you knowww.
thinking of making a portfolio website :) but its gonna take a while to remember all the coding stuff...
my sisters goin fora uni open day and if she wakes me up at 3 in the morning tomorrow i wont be happy, but that means i wont have to go to school if she does....
can't be bothered wiv school anymore i just want to go to college and start driving.
laterz x
love you babe xxxx
Monday, 8 March 2010
"Cozz you had a baad day, and you take everyone down"
all i'm gonna say is that scott means the world to me and without him i dont know where i'd be, he always makes me smile after a bad day.
had a really bad day till i got home, but thats life.
tomorrow will probs be the same and it will be until this is all sorted out.
dont really have much else to say...
laterz xx
love you babyy and i always will xxxx
had a really bad day till i got home, but thats life.
tomorrow will probs be the same and it will be until this is all sorted out.
dont really have much else to say...
laterz xx
love you babyy and i always will xxxx
Sunday, 7 March 2010
Learn the intro to stand by me on my guitar today :)
spent two hours downloading some software that didn't evem work :@
tried to sort things out with kersha again to today, but she seems ready to throw 13 years of friendship down the drain.
i really need to do some courseowrk but really can't be bothered...
i really do love him and hope that we're together forever cause i really care about him, i feel really bad about taking what is happening between me and kersha out on him :/
school tomorrow, then about 4/5 weeks till easter :)
laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx
spent two hours downloading some software that didn't evem work :@
tried to sort things out with kersha again to today, but she seems ready to throw 13 years of friendship down the drain.
i really need to do some courseowrk but really can't be bothered...
i really do love him and hope that we're together forever cause i really care about him, i feel really bad about taking what is happening between me and kersha out on him :/
school tomorrow, then about 4/5 weeks till easter :)
laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx
Saturday, 6 March 2010
"I don’t need a parachute
Baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you
I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me
You’re gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down"
- Charyl Cole, parachute
I've properly fallen out with kersha because of last night, i've tried to sort things out but she wont talk to me, so se can't say that i haven't tried, and what i did was for her own good.
Watched you got served for the zillionth time today :) love that film
ate my weight in biscuits after dinner :D
finished two more portraits today.
Spoke to hiimm today :) he means alot to me and is actually the only person that i can trust at the moment, that wont ge tpissed off with me for caring about them.
laterz xx
love you babe xxxx
Baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you
I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me
You’re gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down"
- Charyl Cole, parachute
I've properly fallen out with kersha because of last night, i've tried to sort things out but she wont talk to me, so se can't say that i haven't tried, and what i did was for her own good.
Watched you got served for the zillionth time today :) love that film
ate my weight in biscuits after dinner :D
finished two more portraits today.
Spoke to hiimm today :) he means alot to me and is actually the only person that i can trust at the moment, that wont ge tpissed off with me for caring about them.
laterz xx
love you babe xxxx
Party last niight
So i didnt post last night coz i went to mica's birthday party :) I spent most of the night sort ing out drunk people - either holding them up, picking them up, preventing arguements, trying to keep them safe. Ended up having an arguement with kersha just before i left :/ (she was drunk) Other than that it was actually a really good night. Good music, good people, memories and pictures.
I really need to find a JOB!
Won't be able to get back into football coz my knee thing has come back :@
Spoke to scott on the phonee :) it was good to hear his voice, even if we didnt get much of a conversation coz i was getting ready to go to the party.
I reckon there's gonna be a few hang overs today.
Gonna have a film afternoon with my mum today and do some photoshop stuff now and find some new software, and i might post later.
I really miss him :(
Laterz xx
love youu xxxx
I really need to find a JOB!
Won't be able to get back into football coz my knee thing has come back :@
Spoke to scott on the phonee :) it was good to hear his voice, even if we didnt get much of a conversation coz i was getting ready to go to the party.
I reckon there's gonna be a few hang overs today.
Gonna have a film afternoon with my mum today and do some photoshop stuff now and find some new software, and i might post later.
I really miss him :(
Laterz xx
love youu xxxx
Monday, 22 February 2010
decisionsss
Over the last couple of days i've seen two sides to louis, the really cute, loving, kind, caring, side that i love and the complete and utter dick that doesn't care about anything other than himself. If i'm totally honest i care about him alot, and i can't believe some of the things he's said especially the part where he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, but he doesn't think he will be able to make it upto me because of what he's done. Hopefully we will be able to sort it out, we getting there and he's getting back to how i know him... which it really good. I know that he is a decent guy, more people should give him a chance. I absolutely hate the fact that he lied to me as he said he never would, and some of the things that were said by both of us, shouldn't of bin said, but well thats the problem with arguements. I want us to get back together, he means a hell of a lot to me. I miss him and our weekends together. Maybe if we have a second chance then we'll do it properly. All i want at the moment is to be with him.
It's good to know someone cares about me, but it's a shame that nothing will happen with us, especially with the distance, and my feelings for louis, i just care about him in a totally different way. Scott makes an amazing friend and i know he has feelings for me, and it's nice to know, but all i see him as is a friend right now, maybe that will change agen one day maybe it wont, but right now my priotity is sorting things out with louis, and seeing if we can get back together, and into a good place. As much as my parents hate that idea, but it's my choice not theirs.
Spoke to laura today for the first time in ages, it's good to hear off of people you haven't spoken to in a long time.
Had a bit of a bad first day back, coz of feeling tired after being ill. But Brenna and Jodie made last lesson amazing. Supply teachers for english should happen more often...especially that old guy he was crazzyyy
-taking the register the teacher calls our JODIE she answers "yes please", he replies "you don't know what i'm offering yet" cringe
and all of brenna's comments everytime he said something were just amazing gotta love that girl.
There was a slight issue with prom dresses today i have no idea why people are gettin them so early but there agen i aint fuss is bout to be honest, i aint bothered about goin to prom. but yeah basically molly bought the dress lizzie thought she'd reserved but hadn't so now molly has it and lizzie has to find another one. GUTTED.
Anyways
laterz xx
Saturday, 16 January 2010
just like a tower of cards
It always happens like this, everything seems to be going really good then like one of those towers made of cards it all just collapses one little bit at a time and I just can never save it in time. Right now it’s looking like I have most probably lost one of my closest friends, me and my boyfriend are on the rocks, and well the rest just isn’t worth talking about... Tomorrow hopefully I can find out the truth with Louis and why he wasn’t upfront with it all in the beginning, and well I don’t really know how to handle the whole argument with her because I don’t particularly know what I have done wrong so I can’t see how I can fix it, hopefully everything will sort itself out, especially as right now I don’t want to lose either of them.
I love how whenever you plan everything because it’s England it decided to rain, it ruins everything!
What is the obsession with finding out our family tree I mean it isn’t even all that interesting I know all the way back to my great grandparents surely that is far enough? So now we are going to look round some graveyard to find out when exactly when one of my mum’s uncles lived, I can’t contain the excitement.
Found a pretty amazing program today, spent hours making beats (I really do have a bit of a sad life) then had a DVD afternoon with my mother, was pretty good, but i did end up having to explain half of it to her...
I really do hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow so that I can see Louis.
Anyways there really isn’t that much to say today, it’s just been one of those days where I’ve thought things over way more than I should of.
Laterz xoxoxo
Friday, 15 January 2010
quick changes
I couldn't ask for a better way to spend my weekend other than with Louis, I really hope is great granddad pulls through.
It's kind of funny how yesterday I was saying how lucky I am to have all of my friends, and I am, but I wish it all came without the problems. I mean how come us girls can be so bitchy, it would all be so much simpler if we were just like guys, throw a few punches and be mates again. But no, we hold the worlds longest grudges to the point that we don't even remember why we were holding the grudge in the first place. It's through these ties that you know who your true friends are as they are the ones who never judge you and let you and the other person work things out without getting involved.
The last couple of days have showed me how much me and Louis need each other, with everything going on with his family and eerything going on between me and my friends, it's good to know that we have each other to turn to. I don't know what i would have done without him the last couple of months, even while i was with scott and he couldnt be there for me Louis was always willing to listen and was always there for me, I am so glad that weve become what we have, because I don't know where I would be without him right now especially as it looks like i may lose one of the people i'm closest to.
Well the highlight of my day was ermm, well it was school can't really say there was a highlight to my day can i?? So, looking forward to tomorrow the whole afternoon with louis, and then the same on sunday, well who needs revision.
I dont really have a clue why but i can never bring myself to revise for any of my exams supposed to have sience exams next week but i just can't concentrate on the revision, to be honest i can't really be asked anymore either i can't wait to leave school and just start aain somewhere new.
anyways thats me done for today,
laterz xoxoxo
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
hmmm... :/
sometimes i wonder if its me thats wrong, am i what you need??
where to go, who to talk to??
you said: i need you, but is that me...
laterz x
lovee you xxx
Monday, 7 December 2009
todaaay :)
what a day.... an arguement, a song and a couple back together :)
i'm really happy for mich and jim :)
alex's joke in graphics :P
robin and lady gaga ;)
matt and his cookin
jodie... yesss i can do it and what? :P
tbh i dont get why she has to keep goin on about him, she knows whatever she says aint gonna change anythin and by bringing in some guy that fancies me aint gonna make her point much stronger realli tbh. I love him and she aint gonna change that by tellin me i'd be better off wiv out him coz tht aint true, he's made me happier than anyone else has and yes it is hard wiv the distance i never sed it werent but the more she goes on about him the more i'll defend him he hasnt done anythin wrong :)
i love him :)
anyways thats it
later x
lovee youu babyy xxx
i'm really happy for mich and jim :)
alex's joke in graphics :P
robin and lady gaga ;)
matt and his cookin
jodie... yesss i can do it and what? :P
tbh i dont get why she has to keep goin on about him, she knows whatever she says aint gonna change anythin and by bringing in some guy that fancies me aint gonna make her point much stronger realli tbh. I love him and she aint gonna change that by tellin me i'd be better off wiv out him coz tht aint true, he's made me happier than anyone else has and yes it is hard wiv the distance i never sed it werent but the more she goes on about him the more i'll defend him he hasnt done anythin wrong :)
i love him :)
anyways thats it
later x
lovee youu babyy xxx
Wednesday, 18 November 2009
hmmm...
well good day, bad day to be honest
arguements lol, dont get some people sometimes...
exams, i hate revision i never get it...
actually managed to write a song today, its like the first time in months...
bin writing more poems...
decided what career i want to do i have actually decided and i think its somethin i would be good at :)
i need to sort my head out, got too much stuff goin on that i dunno what to do about....
laterz x
love you xx
arguements lol, dont get some people sometimes...
exams, i hate revision i never get it...
actually managed to write a song today, its like the first time in months...
bin writing more poems...
decided what career i want to do i have actually decided and i think its somethin i would be good at :)
i need to sort my head out, got too much stuff goin on that i dunno what to do about....
laterz x
love you xx
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