Bigger than dreams...

Everyone has dreams, hopes things they aspire to do, right? For me I would love to see my stories and poems in a shop for sale, not what most people would think about me, but that is my dream and to be honest no one will ever be able to take that dream away from me, and one day hopefully I will achieve that dream. Some people try and put down other people’s dreams, but why? Do you get a kick out of this; you can’t ever take someone else’s dream away from them because it’s something that they want more than anything else, but you can make them feel like what they want is stupid or silly and surely when you make someone feel like that then you’re making yourself feel pretty useless too, why would you ever want to make someone feel like what they want isn’t worth anything, the smallest of dreams is the biggest of dreams to someone.

I’m going to stop using people’s names in my blog, because it keeps getting me into trouble, maybe I’ll use nicknames or initials or just not use names at all... I don’t know I’ll decide when I need to mention someone.

I always seem to spend my weekends thinking things over, working out how I want things to go. Today wasn’t any different. I saw things differently today, and it really is time to just concentrate on me and things that I want and need to do. Some things that I have decided are going to be hard to actually do, but then there’s others that I will have to decide on soon...

I was looking through some old pictures today and it really does make you miss some things that you used to have, and some people that were in your life. There are times when you just have to move on whether it’s you or someone else getting hurt because it’s the best thing to do. Some decisions are really hard to make, but they have to be made.

I thought when you have everything you thought you wanted you were supposed to be happy, what happens when that something isn’t actually what you wanted? How do you deal with it then? Do you carry on how everything is and hope that it goes back to how you once felt or do you start making changes and sorting things out to how you want them to be?

In life there are some hard decisions and they will only ever get worse.

Everyone’s lives would be pretty boring if they didn’t try things that were thrown in their direction, I have and now I know doing this isn’t what I want right now, I thought once it was, but things have changed, and now I know that it isn’t what I thought it would be, and it isn’t what it was.

A lot to think about

Today, i havent really been replying to scotts texts, i guess i've bin spending way too much time thinking bout what jazz was saying last night. Especially as when i asked her when pearl started goin out with scott the first thing she said was about two timing, so that was probably true and he probably did cheat on me then, the fact that she said he was chatting her up, and had evidence for it.

I don't want another relationship where i have to keep forgiving the other person, thats all i seem to do and i can't have anymore things to worry about on top of my exams, and coursework.

I want to be with scott and i really do care about him and i'm pretty sure that i want us to be together for a lot longer.

From now i'm going to forget about everything that was said last night between me and jazz, that isn't important as i don't want other people coming in between us this time.

Hopefully we'll be able to see each other in easter, but that depends on my coursework at the moment. But i don't know if i'll be able to.

The scary thing is i really do like scott a lot more than i wish i did and i dunno what i feel for him isn't soemthing i've felt for anyone before.

This time we're together forever :)

Laterz x
Love you babe xxxx