Urrrggghh I have so much college work do because of the two days I missed and I’ve been out for the majority of today and will be out tomorrow too I have no idea when I’m going to get it all done. But I’m looking forward to tomorrow even if it will be unbelievably packed, shopping with my mum and dad in the morning for food because we literally don’t have anything at the moment and then Christmas shopping with my sister and she’s going to buy me stuff for going with her, sounds pretty fun.
My illness hasn’t fully gone and I don’t think it will for a while because I never get properly ill and when I do I always get really really ill. My temperature won’t go back to normal, I feel cold all the time, I don’t want to eat and my headache keeps coming back. It’s not very fun. Everyone thinks I should go to the doctors because of it and because of something quite worrying in my neck that I should have gone back to the doctors with a month after they first saw it but I didn’t because I hate the doctors. There again I got to the dentist and I hate going there...
I’m really looking forward to going to see Scott at Christmas and to be able to spend some time with him like a real couple. The distance annoys me but that wouldn’t make me want to end it with him, ever. It makes it hard but knowing I have him outweighs the impact of the distance. I care about him so much and we’ve been through so much together, it’s hard to believe we haven’t actually known each other all that long and that we’ve nearly been together for 8 months which I never thought we would reach especially when I think about this time last year, things between us are definitely a million times better. I’m so glad we’re together there isn’t anyone else I’d rather be with, he’s so supportive, understanding, caring, kind, funny... just perfect really. His Christmas presents took a lot of thought but I think I’ve managed to pick him something that he will like and will mean something to him as well; I’ve also got him a not so serious present too. I don’t show him how much I appreciate him as much as I should and I’m going to definitely be doing it a lot more because he really does mean the world to me. Plus I’ve started to learn to open up to him which must show I’m starting to lose my not trusting men thing which is all thanks to him, because he’s put my trust back into them. I’ve really got a lot to thank him for he is such a great person and takes a lot from me. He keeps promising to never hurt me and I know he couldn’t and I don’t ever want to hurt him either, I want to be with him forever I really do.
Christmas is definitely going to be amazing this year, unlike last year... but we need to get our decorations up! I LOVE CHRISTMAS, last year was the only year where I didn’t enjoy it and this year I’m not going to be repeating that.
Laterz xo
Love you xxxxx
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