Wish I could go back, go back, take back, all the words

My blog has become a bit irregular at the moment; this is due to the amount of essays I’ve been given recently, apparently now that our exams are out of the way all of my teachers have decided that we need to overload on essays...

I keep changing my mind about college and after the first day of careers week I’m starting to think I would be better off staying in college for the next year and a bit because of my dream to go to uni as I would never really be able to do this if I don’t finish college. So I’m now thinking about the long term as now the exams are out of the way I’m enjoying it more even though everything is really crazy with the deadlines, but then I love being busy and having things to do. This has become even more apparent as my career idea has changed as I was talking to one of our media technicians about what he did at uni and it sounds like my kind of thing. He’s one of those people who it’s really easy to talk to about that kind of thing.

Tuesday’s are a bad day at college for me though because I only have two lessons but I have to be there all day so it feels really long, add that on to waiting for a bus that is always late it makes it feel a bit pointless. That’s probably part of my problem with college at the moment is I have so much free time. But I am dealing with that as I am signing up for some of the extracurricular courses, the first one I have signed up for is the Health Champions one and I’m really enjoying it and the other people doing it I don’t really know so I am meeting new people too, which is always a bonus.

I’m really looking forward to this weekend, and spending some time with people I haven’t seen in a while.

Everyone is still going on about my 18^th so I have been thinking about it too, I have thought about what I’d like from my parents as they said they will buy me something more expensive than usual my ideas so far have been a bearded dragon – I have always loved reptiles so maybe it’s about time I have one of my own, a parrot – I’ve always been intrigued by how intelligent they are and I’ve wanted one ever since I saw the program the queens nose when I was little, money – to save for uni/ invest in something, or maybe something completely different altogether.

I hate all the decisions you have to make in life, what happens if you choose the wrong one?

Scott really worried my last night he came off of his trampoline and ended up in hospital, and ended up having to go back today because he collapsed when he was at school. But because he hasn’t been eating and drinking properly he made everything 10 times worse. Something like that makes you realise how much you really care about someone, and wish I could be there for him in person and not have this distance in the way! But then again it won’t be forever. His friend Jazz keeps talking to me, she is also his ex, and she keeps making it seem like they always flirt with each other, and are really close. It’s really getting to me. Valentine’s day this year is going to feel worse than being single because I won’t be able to see Scott yet I will see other couples being together like we should be.

I’m coming down with something too which isn’t helping anything, I just need to be able to sleep and let my body recover.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxxx

^{Title: Back Words – JoJo}