Today feels like my life has gone back to where it was three years ago. everything was going down hill, nothing was going right and I felt like an outsider to my own family. Exactly how today has been and I guess the last few weeks has been working up to.
I’m glad that I’m starting my job in two weeks as then I’ll be able to start learning to drive and once I’ve done that I’ll be able to get away from home a bit. Especially at times like these when home doesn’t actually feel like home.
If things get any worse I’ll end up being where I was then and I really don’t want that.
I don’t want to be contemplating running away from home and turning my back on everything and everyone but if things continue to get worse then that’s what it’ll be again and I don’t want that. But sometimes you can’t fix things.
I don’t get on with anyone in my family anymore.
To be honest going to uni won’t come soon enough.
It would be nice to know that people are proud of me like my parents. All they ever do is put me down. Like when I decided to go to uni the best thing they could say was how are going to afford it yet when it was my sister they were telling everyone about it… life just isn’t fair sometimes.
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My second ebook is getting close to being finished.
I didn’t get to go skating today because the weather was terrible this morning.
Haven’t really done a lot at all really other than get shouted and having people have a go at me for various things.
I really need to get away but I can’t sacrifice how I’m doing at college.
Plus other people in the world have it worse than I do so really I can’t complain.
laterz xo
love you xxxx
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