Even when my world’s falling down I still wear a smile… Lucky me (part 2)

I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in my head anymore, so I did what any girl would do when she’s feeling shit, I bought some rom coms and some ice cream and tomorrow will be a DVD day, although I did spend £30 more than I intended well retail therapy always helps too.

I had a good chat with one of the besties, and realised a few things aren’t as good as I thought they were, I guess it’s the domino effect, one thing goes wrong so several things do and so on. So the last few nights I haven’t been sleeping well so I’ve stayed up late texting people trying to sort things out, which has ended up in my parents telling me they’ll take my phone off of me if I do it again tonight. But I still won’t be able to sleep because of all the things buzzing around in my head.

So I’m going to empty it here, Scott will probably see it but I have nowhere else to do it.

1. I wish people would stop interfering

2. Things still don’t feel right between me and Scott

3. I’m worried about what will happen/ be said while I’m at camp

There’s quite a lot more but... I just don’t know it’s hard to summarise, me and Scott ever since we saw each other we became really close then we’ve drifted really far apart, he says he’ll do little things like going online to talk to me then doesn’t or leaves it till quite a while later, he goes times without replying to my texts, he doesn’t do the little things that used to do to make me smile like the long texts & the little posts on my facebook wall, I know it’s probably nothing and that things happen and people eventually stop those things but it’s been a while since he’s done anything like that. We hardly speak on the phone anymore. I just feel like he’s not interested in me anymore and doesn’t know how to tell me of as though I’ve done something wrong. We don’t talk like we used to and I’m seeing loads of other couples breaking up and I don’t want us to become one of them, but we don’t have time to talk about any of this stuff anymore. He hardly ever puts x’s at the end of his texts either now, I know I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing, I really hope I am.

I guess after everything blew up the last few days it’s given me time to over think everything, and he’s probably feeling the pressure to I just needed to get this out of my head and hope that if Scott does see this he doesn’t take this all the wrong way.

But right now I don’t know what I’d do without all my mates

Love you babe x

Laterz xo