Sunday 19 September 2010

I can’t be with ya

Friday I had football training which resulted in my knee injury coming back and gaining an ankle injury. I’m considering quitting permanently because of all the injuries I’m getting. The only major thing that has happened all day. Then at night everything happens...

Feeling like I haven’t spoken to Scott at all in ages, so I’m ready for a night to just sit and talk, but then he has to go out and umm well we don’t, he doesn’t reply to my texts and I’m lef tot wonder what I’m supposed to of done.

Out of the blue I get a text from my obsessive ex, Louis, not what I need when Scott suddenly stops talking to me for no reason, he tries to persuade me to go with him for dinner one night and prove that he’s changed, blah blah blah and all of that, I don’t buy it, added to being really worried about what’s happening with Scott I get really annoyed.

Saturday my sister is leaving for university, Bournemouth to be exact, I’m going to be so close to Scott and I haven’t even spoken to him since 8pm last night, not promising to be honest especially as I’ve woken up with loads of texts from Louis, not what I need.

3 hours in the car and I decide to go to sleep, wake up about half an hour later and I have a text from Scott, his phone broke, over reacting maybe, but I’m worried about losing him, and not talking to him for so long makes me really worried, and I know it’s usually over nothing but I can’t help it.

It feels so weird being so close to Scott for once but not actually seeing him. it’s times like these when I realise how much I actually miss him and having a boyfriend that I can just go see.

After a walk along Bournemouth beach we can finally go take my sister’s stuff to her room and help her unpack. When we finally leave i say to Scott I wish I could have seen him, he spent all his money on a new phone and some trainers which are more important than me (I’m joking).

I’m absolutely shattered and am in need of my bed. BUT I’ve fallen in love with Bournemouth and I want to move there.

Sunday I have so much college work to get through because I didn’t do any yesterday, by the time I finally settle down to do it after talking to Scott and my sister, I decide to go to the shop and see how my ankle is after it hurting so badly yesterday. I’ve discovered it still hurts, definitely not a good sign. Louis tries some more persuasion tactics again. And I haven’t spoken to Scott very much today , again, but we have a long distance relationship what do I expect.

I miss him, so so much, and I doubt we’ll be talking much the next few days because I have so much college stuff to get done. Plus I’m getting stressed out by everything and everyone.

Hopefully in half term I’ll get to see him because me and my whole family are going to go down to Bournemouth because it’s my sister’s birthday straight after it so hopefully me and Scott can see each other then at some point too.

My ankle kills.

When Scott’s with his mates he generally doesn’t talk to me, and there’s other times when he stops talking to me too, so I’m trying to get my college work done now while he’s with them so I don’t get annoyed because he won’t talk to me, I know that sounds stupid and really immature.

Louis is really winding me up saying how he’s changed and really wants another chances, but I can’t give him another one, loads of people say I should because it’s not as if I see Scott anyway so it wouldn’t make much difference, but it would make a difference to me.

It’s heading towards that point of the year, when my whole family become unbearable because of what happened a few years ago.

I love how people keep telling me I shouldn’t be with Scott because all of a sudden Louis is interested in me again. I don’t care what they say I have my own mind. But I am starting to get annoyed with the whole Scott going quiet on me at times because he never used to do it apart from the first time we were together and he wanted to be with someone else, Pearl. Hence why I was worried on Friday night/ Saturday morning.

I hate having a long distance relationship, yeah we can talk but I miss the simple things like kissing, and holding each other, being able to go out together, and just spending time together. But we have to deal with it; just at times it feels like it’s too much, and one of those times is now.

Why is it when I start college I have a lot more interest from guys and my ex’s are all of a sudden interested again, shame I’m not interested in them really.

Laterz xo

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