Shut Up & Kiss Me

If I’m honest I haven’t really done anything today.

I fixed my phone though I was quite proud of myself!

I feel like I’ve hardly spoken to Scott today I was hoping we could talk properly because we don't really seem to talk much lately. On the upside I’m seeing him tomorrow. That feels kind of weird to be able to say that but really good at the same time! I can't wait to be with him again.

Most of today has been taken up looking for some new music and nothing else really.

I’m really tired and I’ve only just realised I’ve done like none of my work for college... oh well

There isn’t much else to write about

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Some songs I found today...

Just an ordinary girl

I don’t normally do this on my blog but my love for music has taken over and new music deffinately doesn’t get the coverage it needs and this person has one really good voice!
Tara London – she writes her own songs and has a really and I mean really unique sound. Check it out!



Right moving on from my little advertisement...

Things got heated with Louis today, had a really good conversation with him tonight
Back with Scott, but I’m still not 100% sure it’s the right thing to do

I’m really tired so off to bed I go, Oh and hi to my new follower!!

"I turned into your perfect girl, a total stranger"

So the basics for all the new people that are reading this, I blog because I find it the easiest way to empty my head, by writing everything down I can see everything as it is and not have to keep thinking it over, well sometimes I do but you can’t always help that. I like to write other stuff too like poems, but I haven’t really written much else other than my blog for a couple of months.

Music plays a big part of my life (no pun intended!). I have a song for every memory, moment, feeling that I listen to. I don’t just listen to one type of music because each type of music can fit into different situations.

Being a teenager you get to experience a lot, friendship, love, fall outs, break ups, arguments, and bitchy people, all of that stuff. But it’s being a teenager that everything major really happens, like your GCSEs, leaving school, college, learning to drive as and a levels, university everything major that could change your life happens when you’re a teenager. Yet everyone thinks you’re too young to make important decisions and they still make all of this stuff happen when you’re not even adult...pretty stupid if you ask me.

It’s weird when you think you know someone and then they go and say something and it’s completely different to the person that you thought they were. But there again everyone one can perceive themselves to be someone different to everyone but only they themselves truly know who they are.

I find it hard to let people in my life, but once I let them into my life it’s hard to let them go again. I don’t choose just to have friends; all my friends are really close to me in some way or another and I know I’ll always be able to rely on them. I do think girls and guys can be friends without having anything else and yeah sometimes this does become more but girl/ guy friendships are the best friendships to have because there’s never that bitchy thing that goes on between girls and the talking behind each other’s backs, it always goes on!

And yeah, I can be bitchy and I am most of the time really outspoken, but it’s better than being something you’re not! I would rather be hated than have to live my life as someone I’m not.

I’m going to take this post as a fresh start and seeing everything as a new opportunity and to start doing things for me and not everyone else, making decisions because it makes things easier for me and to stop worrying what everyone else thinks.

all i ever wanted was you

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me
Do you ever reminisce
I can't believe I'm acting like this
Oh it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you
Is everything okay
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
It's hard enough
Just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
Where is the good in goodbye
Tell me why
Tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away


Brian Mcknight songs are sooo good!! Old music is always the best.

Got a random ext from louis today, but it made me smile :/ then we had a long chat tonight about all our memories and what we thought we had a planned for 'our future' but that never happened :/ makes you think about everythin that you used to have and what you have lost... :/

i'm writing this while waiting to talk to scott... i really miss him and all the time it makes it harder. i wish it wasnt like this. Atm all we seem to do is get over one arguement and have another one and it just takes small things to set it off. We say we want to be together forever, but when its like this sometimes if we are only wishing it could happen and it never will.

UURRGGG i always start thinking like this after i talk to louis :@ people always get inside your head and mess up everythin that you sort out.

didn't post yesterday coz nothin really happened and well thats pretty much the same today...

nothing in life can be simple...

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...
As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'll feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'll probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'll sick
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time

why is it there's thousands of songs that say how you feel, but you can never say it yourself??

why does my head have to mess up agaiin??

its always times like this when things seem to be going okay for once.

anways

laterz x
love you

Ramble

I feel like having a ramble :)

I woke up this morning and my shoulders hurt like hell no idea why, but most likely because of basketball yesterday and me taking everything out on my punch bag :) It was quite fun though imagining everything you want to sort out and just letting go.

I love it when people say things behind your back and they dont think you'll find out. Good times.

Spoke to Scott this morning, he's in Spain... it's alright for some. I love him so much and thigns are starting to go good between us again, i dunno, now i think i've put everything behind us, just wish we could see each other now :(.

louis went weird on me today telling me he needed a massage :/ i just sorted of ignored it.

I've bin listening to until you were gone by chipmunk ft. esmee denters all day it's a really good song.

I think i've chosen my camp for next year, so now all we've got to do is book it!! EXCITEEED much.

Created a new website http://sjhubbard.webs.com/ everything of mine is going to be posted there, my uncle got some copy maker person to do the writing on the home page, that guy was funny.

Lately things havent been so great, but i'm pretty sure things will change.

People want to bitch about me... GO AHEAD
I WILL say what i think too

People want to cause trouble... GO AHEAD
I WILL cause trouble too.

Gotta love life sometimes, and ways i'm back to fl studio... and i mean damn that is some good software. Startin to get the hang of it now.

laterz xx
love you babyy xxxxxx

time to think...

I miss not being able to talk to scott already :( how am i going to last a week... but there again it does mean i can focus on my coursework a lot more.

It's the weekend!! I think i'll sit down with my textiles and finish some of it off :) hopefully i'll have fuity loops studio 9 by tomorrow :) had it before but deleted it, ooopps lol.

Got Ladacris battle of the sexes today, and maaan it's good. I've also bin listening to some freestylin on youtube got me back into rap waay to much :)

This week without scott will be good to sort out my head and decide everything properly, on my own.

lol max tryin to explain his game of poker to me, bearin in mind i have no idea how to play poker, this is actually quite a waste of time. Using all those technical terms really has lost me...

I really hurt my thumb in basketball today, its gona a funny grey/blue colour and it really painful :(

aaahh well i'm gonna finish puttin some music on my mp3 player then go to bed for an early niight... and some thinking tiime....

laterz xx
love you xxxx

how i feel

I've traveled far along with you
We walked the world and together grew
It will be strange being without you
You gave me strength and helped me grow
But now it's time to be on my own
I hope you know, this was difficult
A part of you is a part of me
And will always be
So hold your head high
It's so hard to say goodbye
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand
We'll go on our separate ways
It may be hard, but I'm not afraid
I think it's good life makes us change
So don't be sad
The best is yet to come
But until it does
Just hold your head high
It's so hard to say goodbye
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand
So hold your head high
It's so hard to say goodbye
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand
I won't forget those times
I won't forget those feelings
So don't forget I'm going to see you again
So hold your head high
It's so hard to say goodbye
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand
So hold your head high
It's so hard to say goodbye
I just have to take this chance
I hope you understand



I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm not with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
and after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you



No no no...
mmmm... heyy yeahh

Thinking back when we got together
And in our hearts we were saying forever,
So in love, boy we were so in love, mm..
Jealous wasn't what we wanted, we broke up
You looked in my eyes I should've spoke up, and held you near
Now I'm alone and here it comes again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all keeps on spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't wanna think about you baby so much
All the things we didn't know the way that we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you, forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around, forgetting to forget about you, forget about me and you

I'd be crazy to say that we were perfect,
And sometimes I wondered if it was worth it
But now I see, how good you were for me
And everytime I drive by your apartment
I get this overwhelming urge to walk in and see your face
And to be in that place, all over again

Cause I remember every word that you said
It all keeps on spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't wanna think about you baby so much
All the things we did it didn't know the way we touched
Just when I think about someone new
I keep on forgetting to forget about you, forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around, forgetting to forget about you, forget about me and you

The way we laughed, the way we kissed
I never thought that I would miss all the things I used to complain about you (ooh~)
The football games, hometown friends, I was glad to see it end
But tell me why I feel so alone without you.. ooh...
yeah... here it comes again...!

Cause I remember every word that you said (you)
It all keeps on spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you
And I don't wanna think about you baby so much (so much)
All the things we did it didn't know the way we touched (we touched)
Just when I think about someone new (new)
I keep on forgetting to forget about you,

Cause I remember every word that you said (you)
It all keeps on spinning around in my head
But it don't matter what I try to do
I keep on forgetting to forget about you, forget about you, forget about
Watch me turn around, forgetting to forget about you, forget about me and you
I can't forget about you

"I don’t need a parachute
Baby, if I’ve got you
Baby, if I’ve got you
I don’t need a parachute
You’re gonna catch me
You’re gonna catch if I fall
Down, down, down"
- Charyl Cole, parachute

I've properly fallen out with kersha because of last night, i've tried to sort things out but she wont talk to me, so se can't say that i haven't tried, and what i did was for her own good.

Watched you got served for the zillionth time today :) love that film

ate my weight in biscuits after dinner :D

finished two more portraits today.





Spoke to hiimm today :) he means alot to me and is actually the only person that i can trust at the moment, that wont ge tpissed off with me for caring about them.

laterz xx
love you babe xxxx

Party last niight

So i didnt post last night coz i went to mica's birthday party :) I spent most of the night sort ing out drunk people - either holding them up, picking them up, preventing arguements, trying to keep them safe. Ended up having an arguement with kersha just before i left :/ (she was drunk) Other than that it was actually a really good night. Good music, good people, memories and pictures.

I really need to find a JOB!

Won't be able to get back into football coz my knee thing has come back :@

Spoke to scott on the phonee :) it was good to hear his voice, even if we didnt get much of a conversation coz i was getting ready to go to the party.

I reckon there's gonna be a few hang overs today.

Gonna have a film afternoon with my mum today and do some photoshop stuff now and find some new software, and i might post later.

I really miss him :(

Laterz xx
love youu xxxx

PARTAAAYYY TOMORROWWWWW

Got mica's party tomorrow well exciteed :D

Got really worried about scott today, messing up his leg :/

I've been so happy the last couple of days all because of him :)

I miss him like crazy :(

Got some more of my graphics work done and started my media.

Got the DJ hero album, which has jay-z and eminem tracks... it's amaziing

Beat everyone at lips on the xbox today... yeah most people don't know it but i can actually sing, play guitar(ish) and play a bit of piano/keyboard. I am quite musical, lol

Well i dont really have much else to say...

Laterz xx
I love you babe xxxxx

Finished

I'll get the video soon, here's the photoshop pic i promised, Danny Jones Mcfly, photoshop painting. (click the picture to see it fuul size)

Laterz x

We could be more than just amazing....

loveee

love this....

i'll always be dreamin bout my babyy xx

I love you

i love you baby, i miss him so much. i wish he would stop blaming himself for everything thats happened recently :( we're both to blame, i'm glad it's all sorted and we can move on from it. i want him to know that i love him and i dont ever want to let him go. he's amazing in every way and you really should start believing it. i'm realli looking forward to christmas now <3 :D :D

theres so much i want to say to him....

i love him so much, and i'm so happy that we've sorted it out i dont want to loose him.

laterz xx

i love you baby xxxx

I Love you

i love westlife, but not as much as i love him :)

i know i've deffinately failed chemistry and biology so far :) possibly english too oh well

hopefull i get higher than c's too get into college

not got much too say realli, feelin realli ill now though :(

laterz x
love you bubs xxx

some songs, i'll write later :)

some songs

i love him, he's everything that i need and ever will

had an okay day

can't wait for tomorrow night should be a laugh

laterz xx
love you xxx

good songs :)

Something for him :)

our songs <3 hope he stays mine forever, i'm never goin to let you go now babe, love you.

laterz xx
love you xxx

I Love him :D

i'm so glad that i've got scott back :D and love everything about him, he's amazing :) i can't believe he'd want me back after i ended it. i've bin so happy today all because of him:)

anyways they have moved our exams :@ so now they're in somethin like three weeks, got no idea why and our reports are late :@ but there agen i aint too bothered about that :/

today i managed to make my arm swell up playing volleyball no idea what happened but nearly got taken to hospital :/ but its all gd apparently it was only something like a bruise or sprain but it dont hurt or anythin :)

maybe i'll try doin some textiles tonight or graphics :) dunno gotta get some revision done and have a look at future careers apparently :/



anyways thats it for now

laterz xx
love you baby xxx