Bigger than dreams...

Everyone has dreams, hopes things they aspire to do, right? For me I would love to see my stories and poems in a shop for sale, not what most people would think about me, but that is my dream and to be honest no one will ever be able to take that dream away from me, and one day hopefully I will achieve that dream. Some people try and put down other people’s dreams, but why? Do you get a kick out of this; you can’t ever take someone else’s dream away from them because it’s something that they want more than anything else, but you can make them feel like what they want is stupid or silly and surely when you make someone feel like that then you’re making yourself feel pretty useless too, why would you ever want to make someone feel like what they want isn’t worth anything, the smallest of dreams is the biggest of dreams to someone.

I’m going to stop using people’s names in my blog, because it keeps getting me into trouble, maybe I’ll use nicknames or initials or just not use names at all... I don’t know I’ll decide when I need to mention someone.

I always seem to spend my weekends thinking things over, working out how I want things to go. Today wasn’t any different. I saw things differently today, and it really is time to just concentrate on me and things that I want and need to do. Some things that I have decided are going to be hard to actually do, but then there’s others that I will have to decide on soon...

I was looking through some old pictures today and it really does make you miss some things that you used to have, and some people that were in your life. There are times when you just have to move on whether it’s you or someone else getting hurt because it’s the best thing to do. Some decisions are really hard to make, but they have to be made.

I thought when you have everything you thought you wanted you were supposed to be happy, what happens when that something isn’t actually what you wanted? How do you deal with it then? Do you carry on how everything is and hope that it goes back to how you once felt or do you start making changes and sorting things out to how you want them to be?

In life there are some hard decisions and they will only ever get worse.

Everyone’s lives would be pretty boring if they didn’t try things that were thrown in their direction, I have and now I know doing this isn’t what I want right now, I thought once it was, but things have changed, and now I know that it isn’t what I thought it would be, and it isn’t what it was.

Maybe it's love this time....

I don't think anyone or anything can change the mood i am in right now :D i am sooo happy! It's all down to one person. Scott! Yeaah we're back together, took long enough, but i'm pretty sure it's gonna work this time.

Bless him this morning :)

Had four maths exams today... FOUR. They were all resits as well...

Well, media was realli funny,

Mr H: what does the watershed mean claire?

Claire: you can swear and all that sh!t before 9pm

lol the best part was mr houghton didnt hear what she sed, lmao

Media studies = the best studies :D

brenna's new name: rofl lmao

No more exams for a while i don't think

My hpone won't hold its charge at the moment it's realli annoying...

Textiles tomorrow, wonders what heeks has got instore for me :/ i swear that woman has it in for me...

Not realli got much to say, i'm just realli happy :D

Laterz xx
I love you babee xxxxx

U-turn day

Well so far today has been just great, i managed to mess up BIG time. My day:

Wake up to a text from louis, which was realli good.

Then we have a little chat that finishes with 'I love you' which was even better

The bus was early so we didnt have to wait in the cold, which was brilliant

Had a reasonable day at school until lunch, which is when things start going messed up. I start talking to scott, go to send him a text explaining why i was't so sure about me a louis, which i accidently end up sending to louis, which i completely regret, and to now i still haven't spoken to louis. So who knows whats going to happen, probably something bad. Hopefully i can fix things. Anyways i'll keep you posted.

Laterz xx

today couldn't of turned out BETTER :)

Firstly I think I may have probably just got my guy back, LOUIS, after being a complete an utter arse last night I told him this morning that everything was hard enough without adding him to the equation and he just said all the right things in all of the right places. I never thought he would be that sort of person, but he seems different now... good different... Well I suppose he’s changed like he said, and apparently that’s down to me. I’m writing this because I can’t be talking to him as he’s at football sorting out his team, yeah I know its crazy he has his own team he plays for them and I think he manages them, but I’m not completely sure on the managing thing but I know he started the team.

A lot of people keep asking what I see in him so here it is:

1. He’s really funny and good at making bad situations seem actually quite good
2. He can actually give really good advice, and surprisingly he told me not to fall out with my parents over him
3. His hugs are amazing, I absolutely love them (not to mention how he kisses, but you don’t really want to know about that)
4. He listens to some pretty decent music
5. He actually listens to me, we can actually hold a conversation
6. He knows how to have a good time
7. He has a tattoo, I think tattoos are really attractive
8. All the little things he does

Trust me there are loads of things about him that makes me crazy about him. He’s the reason I have a smile on my face. Hopefully this time we will last a long time. Plus my parents are all good with it now.

I am so happy it’s crazy, and I’m so looking forward to Sunday. Shame I can’t go to Claire’s party on Saturday...

I feel bad about Scott though, I guess, he will find someone one day...

I’m so happy at the moment nothing can bring me down.

Oh yeah i had to do some interview thing for school today, that woman was sooo funny

Laterz xx
Love youuuu xxxx

well...

so i got a new program yesterday, sony vegas pro 9.0 and i wanted to try it out and see what it could do. I've got a youtube account so i thought why not make something that everyone could see, so this is what came of it:



I thought that bullying is a big topic, i'm a cybermentor, so why not? I made another one but haven't had time to upload it yet, so i'll post it tomorrow!

I've decided i'm going to post more videos on youtube now that i've got a better program.

Things are finally back on track, yes i'm single and yes i'm actually happy about it, i have some really close mates now and who would have thought that one of those would actually include one of the people that had once hurt me the most! I guess seeing another side of him and going back to being mates is easy for us because we forgave each other, and well me and louis haven't quite got to that stage yet, but we're working on it. Me and scott (or scoot :P lol) seem to have made a fresh start and being this close to him again is actually quite good, especially as i thought that it would never happen! Thats one of the best things about friendship, you can go through so much together, good and bad but you still have each other to rely on. Yeah, i'm not going to say people should fall out but in some cases it makes you stronger.

Just like another very special friend of mine! We've gone through a major fall out last year but now i know that i can rely on her, and that what ever i need whether its cheering up or just some advice she'll be there. Thats the best thing about friendship people are there for you in different ways, me and scott can't be there for each other in person but we can be with advice and just talking and having a laugh. Where as me and bethany can be there for each other whatever we need whenever we need it. I'm not saying those two are my only closest friends but those two right now are the ones who i have gone through the most ups and downs with and probably know the most about me, because i can be open with them, as well as be myself around them, which is probably the best thing!

Friendhsip is deffiantely one of the things i'm most thankful for.

Aanyways,

Laterz xx

at last...

3 hours, 3 pages and 1565 words later my english coursework is finished, at last and i managed that wihtout any notes or anything just the two poems and some really un helpful scribbles in my book, but all in all i think i may have at leats a C, it can be any worse than my romeo and juliet essay.

Had a good conversation with the louis today and we seemt on be back on track again, which is really good and i'm looking forward to sunday, hopefully my revision doesn't decide to ruin it for me.

There's not really much goin on at the moment, oh yeah own clothes day at school tomorrow, some freedom form the deathly black uniform, to raise some money for the Haiti earthquake people.

Anyways, i've had enough of being sat in front of the computer so i'm off,

Laterz xoxo

If you want me I must be doing something right....

i never thought i would say this, but i'm glad me and him are over, coz now i have found someone that treats me with respect, and i know loves me as much as i love him <3

he knows that we have to take things slow, but we've already got so much planned.

he was so cute walking me home on saturday, really looking forward to tomorrow afternoon :)

he is everything that i could ever want and moree

friday afternoon with him <3
saturday afternoon with him <3
sunday with him <3
tuesday shopping with him <3
christmas eve with him <3
new year with him <3

i'm so glad he's bin there for me the last week and a half, and now that our feelings for each other have grown so much, nothing is goin to stand in our way of being together.

i hope we're together for a long time babyy xxxxx

this is for him and just for him :)

i've wanted to say this to you but i can never find the right words so here it :)

ever since i met you i new you were going to be special to me, you always care about the little things and how i feel, i'm so lucky to have you in my life. the little things that you do always make me smile, just talking to you can make all my problems go away. i don't care what you say you are amazing, because there is no one that would treat me the way you do (and you are gorgeous). i love the fact that you have your dreams and you actually want to achieve them. when we talk and all you seem to want to do is make sure i'm alrite makes me feel so special. when we talk on msn and you wait till i'm offline before you go. i loe yu becuase you love me for being me and you dont want me to change :).... babe i love you and i just want you to know that i'll be here for you as much as you are there for me, i want you to tell me all the little things about you, i want to ask the questions you ask me, i want to be the one you ask for advice. you know i love you and i miss you when we can't be together but when we are together it will always be special.

i love you babe xxxx

I Love him :D

i'm so glad that i've got scott back :D and love everything about him, he's amazing :) i can't believe he'd want me back after i ended it. i've bin so happy today all because of him:)

anyways they have moved our exams :@ so now they're in somethin like three weeks, got no idea why and our reports are late :@ but there agen i aint too bothered about that :/

today i managed to make my arm swell up playing volleyball no idea what happened but nearly got taken to hospital :/ but its all gd apparently it was only something like a bruise or sprain but it dont hurt or anythin :)

maybe i'll try doin some textiles tonight or graphics :) dunno gotta get some revision done and have a look at future careers apparently :/



anyways thats it for now

laterz xx
love you baby xxx

Teenage love affair :)

I wish love could be easier especialy when your family doesn't help. Scott is at it again he just knows when i need someone to pick me up, i just wish he didn't have his spanish exchange student so we could talk properly.

Well there's so much to look forward to half term is coming up and big sis's surpriss party is well i don't think there is much planning going on to be honest well it's either that or it's gonna be a surprise for everyone else too :/

I'm glad I have claudia and molly to get me through today I really thought it was going to be over between me and crazy but cute but I guess we just got stronger :) he really does surprise me sometimes. At least I've got the girlz to keep my head up when there's days like to day :D

Maybe after seeing milly attempted at braiding hayley's hair i should get her to do mine, nah better off paying for it or i'll end up wiv some kind of notting mangles mess :/ that wouldn't be great seeing as my birthday is in less than 3 weeks :D but unlike most years i dont have a majorly long wishlist because i'm happy and i've got everything that i need right here.

well looks like it's another night of revision

laterz xx