Shut Up & Kiss Me

If I’m honest I haven’t really done anything today.

I fixed my phone though I was quite proud of myself!

I feel like I’ve hardly spoken to Scott today I was hoping we could talk properly because we don't really seem to talk much lately. On the upside I’m seeing him tomorrow. That feels kind of weird to be able to say that but really good at the same time! I can't wait to be with him again.

Most of today has been taken up looking for some new music and nothing else really.

I’m really tired and I’ve only just realised I’ve done like none of my work for college... oh well

There isn’t much else to write about

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Some songs I found today...

Baby take my open heart and all it offers, Cause this is as unconditional as it'll ever get

Raining and grey skies...GREAT!

But I did get to speak to my amazing boyfriend this morning! Although that was after I overslept and forgot to go online to speak to him, I feel so bad for that, but it did mean I got to hear his voice. Everything seems to finally be falling into place, I have my boyfriend back and this time I’m not questioning it but enjoying and appreciating having him by my side!

Last night I finally worked out what I wanted and now I know I’m never going to take him for granted! He means the world to me, and I really can’t live without him.

Today I’ve spent a while thinking about the future, and what I really want to do and achieve, I know that I want Scott to be a part of it and that I defiantly want to go to university and I know where I want to go.

I hopefully have a place at long road, studying media, business, politics and ICT. I need to get my grades at GCSE which I know I can do! I just need to push myself to get the final pieces of coursework done then I need to put together a revision timetable that I can stick to, because the one I’ve got at the moment I don’t stick to.

Then after college hopefully I can get a place at Bournemouth University studying media, that means a lot of hard work to get in but I really want to go to university. That’s a massive change from what I wanted last September but I’ve seen that you get out of life what you put into it, so if I work hard now I’ll be able to have a good future.

Today another dream I used to have came back and this is something I definitely want to work on. I used to want to play for England ladies football team, and Arsenal ladies but then I got injured playing and had to quit to take the strain off of my knee otherwise it wouldn’t heal properly, now that it has I’m going to work on getting my fitness back and finding a team.

I know I’m 16 why plan my life out but these are things that I definitely want to achieve, and are things that I can achieve if I put my mind to it.

I was really surprised I thought Louis would cause me more trouble but he’s just left me alone and done what I’ve asked him to, last night I cut every means of him talking to me off so he can’t cause any more trouble between me and Scott.

There’s something that I’ve left out the list of what I want out of the future, and that’s the part that includes Scott. Last night I was talking to Molly, (who used to hate me being with Scott but know she’s happy for us because we’re so happy together) and we ended up talking about Jamie (her boyfriend) and Scott it was weird, but good weird, because we were talking about our relationships and everything, I kept saying how this time we were going to work because this time I feel something that I haven’t felt about our relationship before, yes I’ve always loved Scott but there’s something different about us this time it feels right being together, but not just right, I feel like if me and Scott broke up then I would fall apart, I haven’t felt that way before, this time my feelings for him are definitely a lot stronger. That’s what lead on to the next part of the conversation and where it started to get scary, but good scary, and sort of puts where I see and want Scott to be in my future. We started talking about who we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with, and I know without any doubt that for me that person has to be Scott I couldn’t imagine having anyone else by my side, and then me and Molly started talking about marriage and everything, and for the first time in my life I can say without any hesitation that yes the distance is hard but it proves that what we feel about each other is strong because it can last with the distance in between us. Not many people’s relationships would work with how we do, but this makes me even more sure that Scott is the person who I want to spend the rest of my life with, how do I know that when I’m only 16, not many people go to bed at night smiling and wake up again smiling all because of one person, not many people, have someone who doesn’t give up on them and walk away when they do, not many people have what me and Scott have. It’s so scary to need someone so much when they could just walk away, but having Scott by my side makes me feel like I can do anything, I know I can turn to him if I need support, and I know that he’s always got me, there’s no running away when things get hard, I’m standing by him through everything, the good and the bad! No more letting people come between us and everything that we have, this is forever and nothing or no one will come in between that!

Love youuu xxxx

never let you go

I could be any happier, i've got my babyy back, and this time i'm not going to screw it up with scott, he means everything to me!!

I love you baby xx

nothing elose exciting has happened to day, so small blog today, i promise a long one for tomorrow!!

you dam near where my everything, and your still on my mind

Louis has been talkin to me the last few days and we're so close as mates i dont know whether goin out would ruin it.

I could either crush scott again or make him really happy, but i'm not entirely sure which is best.

life is hard, but i know i've gotta do what makes me happy, sod everyone else, selfish yeah but i'm not gonna be held in a situation where i'm not goin to be happy.

time to make a few decisions, i love louis, but care about scott, there's the difference, already, i dont want scott to get hurt but i want to spend alll my free time with louis, i guess i know my answer i just dont want to make the actions. I know over the time me and scott have become more like really close friends. But at least well i hope i know he'll always be there for me.

I know scott will find someone soon coz he's a really nice person, but he needs someone he can have a proper relationship with, i know he'll hurt but that'll go away.

i need to do what right for me, right now thats seeing how things go with louis...

ONE MONTH

its gone so quick but we've bin together a month :) love you babe xxx
I couldn't imagine being with anyone else! Your everything and more than i could want or need, i love you so much. I'm going to be by your side for as long as you want me to be.

nothin much has happened today, so thats all i really wanted to post about...

LOVE YOU BABYY

You were my all or nothing, hopefully your going to be my all!

The simple way to put today (names need to be used!):

I haven’t felt held back by anything had a really good conversation with Louis, last night and it did turn kind of flirty, guess it’s just one of those things, but it was weird especially as he told me he liked me :/ and carried on speaking to him today and it was kind of flirty again.

But I guess I can be like that coz I am single again, and yeah this sounds bad but I am kind of happy about it because there’s no way it would have gone any further. I do feel bad for Scott but he will find someone else and I really hope he does. But by breaking things off it means I won't be able to hurt him by going with Louis behind his back.

Louis has already started making me smile but my parents aren’t sure about me and him yet but they said, they just want to see me happy, so if things with Louis go any further then it will make me happy.

I’ll keep you posted; love for a teenager can be kind of complicated!

all i ever wanted was you

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me
Do you ever reminisce
I can't believe I'm acting like this
Oh it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you
Is everything okay
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
It's hard enough
Just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
Where is the good in goodbye
Tell me why
Tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away


Brian Mcknight songs are sooo good!! Old music is always the best.

Got a random ext from louis today, but it made me smile :/ then we had a long chat tonight about all our memories and what we thought we had a planned for 'our future' but that never happened :/ makes you think about everythin that you used to have and what you have lost... :/

i'm writing this while waiting to talk to scott... i really miss him and all the time it makes it harder. i wish it wasnt like this. Atm all we seem to do is get over one arguement and have another one and it just takes small things to set it off. We say we want to be together forever, but when its like this sometimes if we are only wishing it could happen and it never will.

UURRGGG i always start thinking like this after i talk to louis :@ people always get inside your head and mess up everythin that you sort out.

didn't post yesterday coz nothin really happened and well thats pretty much the same today...

nothing in life can be simple...

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...
As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'll feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'll probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'll sick
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time

why is it there's thousands of songs that say how you feel, but you can never say it yourself??

why does my head have to mess up agaiin??

its always times like this when things seem to be going okay for once.

anways

laterz x
love you

Today is the start of something good.

I don’t know what happened today but I realised a few things...

Recently I’ve been thinking that my life is really bad but let’s face it I’m actually really lucky.

I’ve got....

Scott;
My amazing boyfriend, who I know I can talk to about anything, who I can trust 100% (slight contradiction of the last couple of days, I know, but let’s face it, I actually can’t see him doing any of the things people have said he’s done). He always knows what to say, can put a smile on my face no matter what mood I’m in and sticks by me through everything. I LOVE YOU BABE!!

My friends;
Well here I’m talking about my close friends who I can count on for anything and everything. They’re always there if I need someone to talk to, if I need cheering up, or someone to piss about with. We have some crazy chats too, and I’ve learnt a lot from them the last year. THANKS GUYS

My family;
To be honest I am lucky in the respect the both of my parents are together, not a lot of people have that. We argue a lot but we are close really....

I’m not like a lot of people, yeah I guess I’m outspoken (well I know I am), I’ll say things and think about them afterwards, and that’s always been an issue. I’ve gone through a lot of bad stuff, but that’s taught me to appreciate what I’ve got and the last couple of days I’ve forgotten that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that however much I complain I am actually really lucky.

Laterz xx
Love you babe xxxxx

Ramble

I feel like having a ramble :)

I woke up this morning and my shoulders hurt like hell no idea why, but most likely because of basketball yesterday and me taking everything out on my punch bag :) It was quite fun though imagining everything you want to sort out and just letting go.

I love it when people say things behind your back and they dont think you'll find out. Good times.

Spoke to Scott this morning, he's in Spain... it's alright for some. I love him so much and thigns are starting to go good between us again, i dunno, now i think i've put everything behind us, just wish we could see each other now :(.

louis went weird on me today telling me he needed a massage :/ i just sorted of ignored it.

I've bin listening to until you were gone by chipmunk ft. esmee denters all day it's a really good song.

I think i've chosen my camp for next year, so now all we've got to do is book it!! EXCITEEED much.

Created a new website http://sjhubbard.webs.com/ everything of mine is going to be posted there, my uncle got some copy maker person to do the writing on the home page, that guy was funny.

Lately things havent been so great, but i'm pretty sure things will change.

People want to bitch about me... GO AHEAD
I WILL say what i think too

People want to cause trouble... GO AHEAD
I WILL cause trouble too.

Gotta love life sometimes, and ways i'm back to fl studio... and i mean damn that is some good software. Startin to get the hang of it now.

laterz xx
love you babyy xxxxxx

A lot to think about

Today, i havent really been replying to scotts texts, i guess i've bin spending way too much time thinking bout what jazz was saying last night. Especially as when i asked her when pearl started goin out with scott the first thing she said was about two timing, so that was probably true and he probably did cheat on me then, the fact that she said he was chatting her up, and had evidence for it.

I don't want another relationship where i have to keep forgiving the other person, thats all i seem to do and i can't have anymore things to worry about on top of my exams, and coursework.

I want to be with scott and i really do care about him and i'm pretty sure that i want us to be together for a lot longer.

From now i'm going to forget about everything that was said last night between me and jazz, that isn't important as i don't want other people coming in between us this time.

Hopefully we'll be able to see each other in easter, but that depends on my coursework at the moment. But i don't know if i'll be able to.

The scary thing is i really do like scott a lot more than i wish i did and i dunno what i feel for him isn't soemthing i've felt for anyone before.

This time we're together forever :)

Laterz x
Love you babe xxxx

if you can't find your way, look for me....

Haven't really had much of a chance to speak to scott today :(

spent most of the day playin my guitar and doin some photoshop stuff, as well as sortin out my mum's present for tomorrow.



Some of the more recent stuff i've done :)

Had a bit of a let down today, got a letter from the college i applied to saying that i can't do leisure studies as the course ain't gonna be run this year. So i'm gonna have to change my application, dunno what to yet though, especially as that was one of the two main courses i want to do.

I really miss him, i knew it would be hard but hopefully in the summer i'll be able to get a part time job so that i can pay for an intensive driving course which means i should be able to drive within a couple of weeks of my 17th birthday, (only 8 months) which means then we'll be able to see each other loads more :)

laterz xx
love you baby and i always will xxxxx

Rachel Abedeji ha sactually made my night, twitcam is hilarious.

Had a really funny conversation with scott on the phone, and stacey. lol

Today i have realised that you will always have true friends who stand by you, and there'll be others who are friends when it suits them.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis:

i don't need you in my life anymore, so tbh i don't care anymore

Batherzbeaann:

cheer upp, you got people that care about you forget about the other people that make you feel crap, coz there the ones who you don't need :)

Scott:

I love you, and can't wait to see you babe :) forget about last night, i feel really bad about it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I love the fact that you have so many people who are nice talking to your face but behind your back there bitches

laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx

Today things came quite clear in my head, i know for sure that me and scott are goin to work out. It took till now and a text from my ex to prove that to me, but still i know it for sure.

So today i'm working on updating my graphics software on my computer with pretty much every program i can find  :D

Kinda annoyed at the fact that scott made it seem that his parents new about us, but he hasn't actually told them... this is exactly what i didn't want to happen. but there again he could do worse things i suppose.

bin one of those days where anything could change my mood just like that....

scott really does mean alot to me, i just hope this time everything works out, i never want to loose him.

laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx

one day you'll realise dat you'll be alright.

I think i have found my talent, writing, i dunno why but recently all i have been doin is sitting down and writing. I keep getting all these ideas in my head and i just seem to be able to write endlessly. One day hopefully i'll have a published book.

right now i have realised to appreciate what i've got. i'm always going to have arguments with people, it happens to everyone, so the best thing is to ignore the bitchy comments, there going to happen where ever i am, whatever i'm doing. I've got great friends and they really do balance out the people who hvae a dislike for me, they can keep me happy and they know what to say and when to say it. I have an amazing boyfriend and yeah i know we're only teenagers but what i feel for him i havent felt for anyone else, i am really lucky to have him and what we have. I couldn't bare to lose him.

Our exams are coming up and i am behind on a lot of coursework, not sure if i want to go to college anymore, but i'm gonna concentrate on getting it done.

today i've spent a lot of time thinking about me and him, i am truely lucky to have him, i just hope i can get the whole distance thing out of my head, especially after last night, i hated not being able to just be there for him, its hard, and i want to forget about the distance but i don't know if i'll be able to deal with it like i did last time. Especially after all the problems we went through last time, we both started turning to other people and he ended up turning and falling for someone else, all this stuff is going round in my head and i guess i can't break off from the past. It's tough and i want to make a fresh start with him, but this time we have a history together and we arent just starting out, its like it's different somehow. i'm not saying i dont care about him coz i do, i'm crazy about him, but things just seem different. I can't see it as a fresh start because it isn't. we don't have a proper relationship right now, coz of the distance, we can't actually see each other till the holidays and its goin to be like that till i can drive and then i'm going to have pressure from college. Hopefully i'll sort this out in my head. i don't want us to be over, thats the last thing i want, i just want a way of sortin this out in my head. to be able to forget about the distance, i really do appreciate having him in my life, i just wish it was easier... thats all

everything when your a teenager is drama... it needs to be simpler

laterz xxx

love you baby, things will be good soon, we'll be able to be together soon. for now all we can do is dream about being together xxxxx

Learn the intro to stand by me on my guitar today :)

spent two hours downloading some software that didn't evem work :@

tried to sort things out with kersha again to today, but she seems ready to throw 13 years of friendship down the drain.

i really need to do some courseowrk but really can't be bothered...

i really do love him and hope that we're together forever cause i really care about him, i feel really bad about taking what is happening between me and kersha out on him :/

school tomorrow, then about 4/5 weeks till easter :)

laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx

Party last niight

So i didnt post last night coz i went to mica's birthday party :) I spent most of the night sort ing out drunk people - either holding them up, picking them up, preventing arguements, trying to keep them safe. Ended up having an arguement with kersha just before i left :/ (she was drunk) Other than that it was actually a really good night. Good music, good people, memories and pictures.

I really need to find a JOB!

Won't be able to get back into football coz my knee thing has come back :@

Spoke to scott on the phonee :) it was good to hear his voice, even if we didnt get much of a conversation coz i was getting ready to go to the party.

I reckon there's gonna be a few hang overs today.

Gonna have a film afternoon with my mum today and do some photoshop stuff now and find some new software, and i might post later.

I really miss him :(

Laterz xx
love youu xxxx

A more interesting post

Well the last post was a bit short so i'll write this one whilst watching england play, especially as they aren't doin too great... (first half 1:0 to eypt)

Well the first thing i did when i woke up this morning was check my phone and i had 3 texts from him :) I fell asleep when we were texting last night :/ it was nice to wake up to them though, it reminded me why i love him so much, they was he says how he feels, it's good to know that he can say how he feels to me. Not many guys are like that, it's just one of the millions of things that i like about him.

"oh rooney don't be such a dick" my mum's input to the football... (second half)

When i went down the shop this morning, as normal, 2 creme eggs for 80p!! thought that was amziing. This car nearly crashed not so good.

"what's bart simpsons sister called?" dad not watching the football...god knows what he wanted to know that for

Spent the walk down to the bus stop texting scott :D as usual...

Had media first... emma and bethany are going to start a band :/, anna, "i'm going to the doctors" emma "why" anna "must you know everything about my body? do I need to reveal the secrets of my temple?" major lol.

the rest of the day past in a bit of a blur

1:1 crouch scored (second half)
"he can do that he's such a big man" lol he's huge what they on about big
at last shaun wright-phillips is on :D

got home, found the tab to everything - michael buble and ava marie - beyonce. After talking to scott for a while, spent about an hour practicing my guitar.

Wrote a few more poems although my mum thinks they sound more like lyrics :/ gonna change them...

I'm pretty sure this time me and hiim will be together for a really long time, he means soo much to me. I know this time i won't make the mistake of taking him for granteed like last time. It feels good to be appreciated for a change and to be given respect.

I am as of now looking for a new football team, this weekend i'm starting me new fitness training for myself untill i find a team. Looking at one of the ladies teams in cambridge and now i'm looking for a new pair of boots.

Things are looking so much better, i have some really good friends, a truely amazing boyfriend who i love so much, and everything is just starting to look like it's going somewhere...

2:1 to england shaun wright phillips (second half)

Anyways thats it, but longer than the last one :)

Laterz xx
I lvoe you babe and i always will xxxx

todaayy

I'm really happy, about to go practice my guitar so this is gonna be pretty short.

Thought there was gonna be a big arguement wasn't though.. just a little problem

Forgot some coursework gonna do it tonight some time

Found a whole load of new songs to learn on guitar

Spent most of my spare time textin/ thinkin bout him :)

Laterz xx
Love youu xxxx

Maybe it's love this time....

I don't think anyone or anything can change the mood i am in right now :D i am sooo happy! It's all down to one person. Scott! Yeaah we're back together, took long enough, but i'm pretty sure it's gonna work this time.

Bless him this morning :)

Had four maths exams today... FOUR. They were all resits as well...

Well, media was realli funny,

Mr H: what does the watershed mean claire?

Claire: you can swear and all that sh!t before 9pm

lol the best part was mr houghton didnt hear what she sed, lmao

Media studies = the best studies :D

brenna's new name: rofl lmao

No more exams for a while i don't think

My hpone won't hold its charge at the moment it's realli annoying...

Textiles tomorrow, wonders what heeks has got instore for me :/ i swear that woman has it in for me...

Not realli got much to say, i'm just realli happy :D

Laterz xx
I love you babee xxxxx

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I can see this is going to be a bit of a ramble so feel free to STOP NOW!



"I'd Rather"

I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah

And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart

I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart

I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,

I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)

I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart

I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart

The lyrics incase you can't be bothered to listen to it ;)

Well to be honest, i need to be honest with myself, and two guys.

I hopefully neither of them read this before i get to talk to them but if they do then, i can't really help that seeing as i usually write stuff here to make it clear in my head.

Scott,
-I'm sorry but right now, and i doubt that i ever will have feelings for you like i did before. I've probably seemed like thats what i wanted the last couple of days and it's unfair to lead you on. I need you as a friend, thats how we work best. YOU WILL find someone one day, just don't go looking for it, let that person come to you, i just don't think thats me, you a pearl didn't work out, (this is going to sound harsh but i did say in the beginning of this post that i was going to be honest) and tbh I'm glad you didn't work out, thats why we broke up because of her, that probably sounds really out of order but its the truth, and to tell you the truth, she seemed a bit of a cow (no intention to offend you) and you deserve better. Well i can't really say much for jazz but you couldn't really see things going terrible well with you and her if you were telling me you loved me, really... I don't want to lose you as a friend especially as we are so close but that's all we can be. You'll probably be pissed at me but you needed to know this.

Louis,
- Now this is when it get complicated really, it's unbelieveably (who cares if i spelt that word right) scary to think that i care about you this much. You were right i was dneying it everytime i told you i didn't but i guess everytime i was trying to get you out of my head, and everytime i thought i was something would remind me of you or us and then you would be the main thing i thought about. You've said you want me back, and well you know that i want that too, but things aren't going to be easy, firstly because of the people who will be against us being together (kind of obvious that one) and because there are somethings we'll need to work out. But if you want this as much as i do then we'll be able to sort it out. If you don't think we can or you are only saying the things i want to here then please walk away now, i can't have you messing with my head any more than you already have. I've said this to you before, i want to be there for you through the good an bad and not just walk away when things are hard, i mean what i say when i say i care about you, we're teenagers we don't really honestly know what love is but if this is it i'm not going to let it slip away from me, if i have a chance to see what real love is then i want to see what it's like. I really want this but only if it is for the right reasons.

Friends,
- You are going to make it hard, because i know what you think about everything thats gone on between me and louis, you haven't really kept that a secret to be honest :P but i want this and i want to be happy, so what you say won't change my oppinion of him, give him a chance, he's a good guy, you just haven't really managed to see that with whats happened.

Family,
- Well you pretty much are the same as the friends one but I really need you to take a step back on this one and take my judgement as the best one for this, i really do.


Anyways,

Laterz xx

Ps. maybe next time i'll be able to say that 'we' are together again, maybe not but what ever happens all you guys will find out ;)