Showing posts with label ex boyfriend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ex boyfriend. Show all posts

Monday, 5 April 2010

you dam near where my everything, and your still on my mind

Louis has been talkin to me the last few days and we're so close as mates i dont know whether goin out would ruin it.

I could either crush scott again or make him really happy, but i'm not entirely sure which is best.

life is hard, but i know i've gotta do what makes me happy, sod everyone else, selfish yeah but i'm not gonna be held in a situation where i'm not goin to be happy.

time to make a few decisions, i love louis, but care about scott, there's the difference, already, i dont want scott to get hurt but i want to spend alll my free time with louis, i guess i know my answer i just dont want to make the actions. I know over the time me and scott have become more like really close friends. But at least well i hope i know he'll always be there for me.

I know scott will find someone soon coz he's a really nice person, but he needs someone he can have a proper relationship with, i know he'll hurt but that'll go away.

i need to do what right for me, right now thats seeing how things go with louis...

Sunday, 28 March 2010

You were my all or nothing, hopefully your going to be my all!

The simple way to put today (names need to be used!):

I haven’t felt held back by anything had a really good conversation with Louis, last night and it did turn kind of flirty, guess it’s just one of those things, but it was weird especially as he told me he liked me :/ and carried on speaking to him today and it was kind of flirty again.

But I guess I can be like that coz I am single again, and yeah this sounds bad but I am kind of happy about it because there’s no way it would have gone any further. I do feel bad for Scott but he will find someone else and I really hope he does. But by breaking things off it means I won't be able to hurt him by going with Louis behind his back.

Louis has already started making me smile but my parents aren’t sure about me and him yet but they said, they just want to see me happy, so if things with Louis go any further then it will make me happy.

I’ll keep you posted; love for a teenager can be kind of complicated!

Thursday, 25 March 2010

all i ever wanted was you

Do you ever think about me
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep
In the middle of the night when you're awake
Are you calling out for me
Do you ever reminisce
I can't believe I'm acting like this
Oh it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
Do you ever ask about me
Do your friends still tell you what to do
Every time the phone rings
Do you wish it was me calling you
Do you still feel the same
Or has time put out the flame
I miss you
Is everything okay
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
It's hard enough
Just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
Where is the good in goodbye
Tell me why
Tell me why
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over you
I should know better
But it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours since you ran away


Brian Mcknight songs are sooo good!! Old music is always the best.

Got a random ext from louis today, but it made me smile :/ then we had a long chat tonight about all our memories and what we thought we had a planned for 'our future' but that never happened :/ makes you think about everythin that you used to have and what you have lost... :/

i'm writing this while waiting to talk to scott... i really miss him and all the time it makes it harder. i wish it wasnt like this. Atm all we seem to do is get over one arguement and have another one and it just takes small things to set it off. We say we want to be together forever, but when its like this sometimes if we are only wishing it could happen and it never will.

UURRGGG i always start thinking like this after i talk to louis :@ people always get inside your head and mess up everythin that you sort out.

didn't post yesterday coz nothin really happened and well thats pretty much the same today...

nothing in life can be simple...

Damn baby
Just don't understand where we went wrong
I gave you my heart
I gave you my soul
I gave you...
As a matter of fact I was the one who said I love you first
It was about eight years ago, don't act like you don't know
We were sittin' at home in your mama's livin' room
Cause, we couldn't be alone
See your mama knew I was something else, she knew how I felt
Back then we were in school; and that's your favorite excuse
Growin' up I was a fool; and I can't lie I'm missing you
Listen and don't trip
I think I need a bottle with a genie in it
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
One wish, one wish, one wish
Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me
So girl don't tell me what I'll feeling is make believe
I swear if I lose a second chance with you
I wouldn't know what to do
I'll probably check myself into some kind of clinic
I couldn't be alone because without you I'll sick
Here's my wish list
First one, I would create a heart changing love
Second one, I'll take yours and fill it all up
Third one, but I don't need a lot of wishes cause I'll be okay if I get one
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time
If I had one wish
I don't even know how we ended upon this road
And, even though we are grown, Girl I just want you to know
If I had one wish, we would be best friends
Love would never end, it would just begin
If I had one wish, you would be my boo
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you
If I had one wish, we would run away
Making love all day, have us a baby
If I had one wish, I'll make you my whole life
And you'll be my wife, make it right this time

why is it there's thousands of songs that say how you feel, but you can never say it yourself??

why does my head have to mess up agaiin??

its always times like this when things seem to be going okay for once.

anways

laterz x
love you

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Ramble

I feel like having a ramble :)

I woke up this morning and my shoulders hurt like hell no idea why, but most likely because of basketball yesterday and me taking everything out on my punch bag :) It was quite fun though imagining everything you want to sort out and just letting go.

I love it when people say things behind your back and they dont think you'll find out. Good times.

Spoke to Scott this morning, he's in Spain... it's alright for some. I love him so much and thigns are starting to go good between us again, i dunno, now i think i've put everything behind us, just wish we could see each other now :(.

louis went weird on me today telling me he needed a massage :/ i just sorted of ignored it.

I've bin listening to until you were gone by chipmunk ft. esmee denters all day it's a really good song.

I think i've chosen my camp for next year, so now all we've got to do is book it!! EXCITEEED much.

Created a new website http://sjhubbard.webs.com/ everything of mine is going to be posted there, my uncle got some copy maker person to do the writing on the home page, that guy was funny.

Lately things havent been so great, but i'm pretty sure things will change.

People want to bitch about me... GO AHEAD
I WILL say what i think too

People want to cause trouble... GO AHEAD
I WILL cause trouble too.

Gotta love life sometimes, and ways i'm back to fl studio... and i mean damn that is some good software. Startin to get the hang of it now.

laterz xx
love you babyy xxxxxx

Friday, 12 March 2010

Rachel Abedeji ha sactually made my night, twitcam is hilarious.

Had a really funny conversation with scott on the phone, and stacey. lol

Today i have realised that you will always have true friends who stand by you, and there'll be others who are friends when it suits them.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Louis:

i don't need you in my life anymore, so tbh i don't care anymore

Batherzbeaann:

cheer upp, you got people that care about you forget about the other people that make you feel crap, coz there the ones who you don't need :)

Scott:

I love you, and can't wait to see you babe :) forget about last night, i feel really bad about it.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I love the fact that you have so many people who are nice talking to your face but behind your back there bitches

laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx

Thursday, 11 March 2010

Today things came quite clear in my head, i know for sure that me and scott are goin to work out. It took till now and a text from my ex to prove that to me, but still i know it for sure.

So today i'm working on updating my graphics software on my computer with pretty much every program i can find  :D

Kinda annoyed at the fact that scott made it seem that his parents new about us, but he hasn't actually told them... this is exactly what i didn't want to happen. but there again he could do worse things i suppose.

bin one of those days where anything could change my mood just like that....

scott really does mean alot to me, i just hope this time everything works out, i never want to loose him.

laterz xx
love you babe xxxxx