I think i have found my talent, writing, i dunno why but recently all i have been doin is sitting down and writing. I keep getting all these ideas in my head and i just seem to be able to write endlessly. One day hopefully i'll have a published book.
right now i have realised to appreciate what i've got. i'm always going to have arguments with people, it happens to everyone, so the best thing is to ignore the bitchy comments, there going to happen where ever i am, whatever i'm doing. I've got great friends and they really do balance out the people who hvae a dislike for me, they can keep me happy and they know what to say and when to say it. I have an amazing boyfriend and yeah i know we're only teenagers but what i feel for him i havent felt for anyone else, i am really lucky to have him and what we have. I couldn't bare to lose him.
Our exams are coming up and i am behind on a lot of coursework, not sure if i want to go to college anymore, but i'm gonna concentrate on getting it done.
today i've spent a lot of time thinking about me and him, i am truely lucky to have him, i just hope i can get the whole distance thing out of my head, especially after last night, i hated not being able to just be there for him, its hard, and i want to forget about the distance but i don't know if i'll be able to deal with it like i did last time. Especially after all the problems we went through last time, we both started turning to other people and he ended up turning and falling for someone else, all this stuff is going round in my head and i guess i can't break off from the past. It's tough and i want to make a fresh start with him, but this time we have a history together and we arent just starting out, its like it's different somehow. i'm not saying i dont care about him coz i do, i'm crazy about him, but things just seem different. I can't see it as a fresh start because it isn't. we don't have a proper relationship right now, coz of the distance, we can't actually see each other till the holidays and its goin to be like that till i can drive and then i'm going to have pressure from college. Hopefully i'll sort this out in my head. i don't want us to be over, thats the last thing i want, i just want a way of sortin this out in my head. to be able to forget about the distance, i really do appreciate having him in my life, i just wish it was easier... thats all
everything when your a teenager is drama... it needs to be simpler
laterz xxx
love you baby, things will be good soon, we'll be able to be together soon. for now all we can do is dream about being together xxxxx
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