ffs...

he always used to make everything okay and now why does he do this, i thought i knew him and who he was but i guess people change. i wish i knew this was gonna happen before at least then i would have had a chance to work everything out in my head.

laterz xx

things can change really quickly

i thought i was the only one for you...

...i guess things can change



laterz x

5 hours down 5 to gooo

i love him havent bin able to get him out of my head all day....

done half of my textiles exam todai, just glad he dont go to my skool lol :/ we were al abit hyper at lunch todai :) good times

bin writtin another new hook so i hope this time i'll be able to find a new beat to it never know i might be able to write a whole song outa it :)

laterz xx
love you babee i always will xxx

you know

he is one amazing person, i've never known anyone care about everyone as much as he does, i want him to tell me everything in future and not pretect me because i have my own problems, i want to be there for him through everything.

i love you xx

I Love him xx

he's the best thing thats happened to me, and i want him to know that i will be here for him whenever and wherever he needs me to be. i love him and that wont change i wish there was more i could do.

i love you xxx

dont you just love it when...

you hear things off of other people and you dont know what to believe. when someones says something to you and they must have bin lying or otherwise, how do they do this to you? how am i going to move on this time??

i've bin hurt before but never like this

laterz x

all i'll ever want

i hope he is feelin better soon :( wish i was there wiv him :(

i love him, he means everything to me and is more than i could ever i ask for i don't deserve him, I LOVE YOU BUBS

laterz x

love you my amazingly gorgeous bubs xxxxx

life well and truelly sucks big time

everything starts going right then things decide they just want to undo themselves and go wrong and messed up :(

everyone always says the opposite to how i feel

guys mess wiv my head

mates cause problems

parents just argue wiv me

i'm ill

ffs life couldnt be much better :)

laterz xx

thats made my day...

in fact it probably made my life the two best conversations in the world happen in all of two minutes i come back to msn and get added the the convo which results in:

olivia are you gay?
>>no just a girl crush

lmao that child is a funny bean (she's not gay btw)

how was your driving lessons todai?
>>only ran 3 grannies over this time dw

lolz...

my life has been made although go:audio are splitting up :( oh well me and betherzbean will have to find another topic of convo to talk about :/ no doubt james will become a busker...

laterz x
love you xx

well...

todai has been rather shit, deffinately failed english, might have just about scrapped a pass on maths and media :/

ten hours of textiles next week .....GREAT :(

feeling worse than i did before, it may have somethin to do wiv sitting in the freezing cold sports hall for the last week :@

hope i dont loose him...

work tomorrow :(

lmao at the driving lesson jokes wiv louis :P

laterz xxx

random pics from photobucket :)

i like lookin at photobucket :)

not bin doin much today only done some textiles exam prep :/ my only day this week without any exams :D

found out i got next friday off of school teacher training day :)

half day when we break up for christmas :)

gonna be raising money for help for heroes but dunno what we're doin yet :/

anyways thats it, still really ill :(

laterz x

love you bubs your everything i'll ever want or need (shut up about needing to be stronger you really dont need to be, i love you the way you are and that'll never change!!) xxxx

well..

there isnt realli alot to write about todai, its bin pretty shit tbh. had exams all day and vertually lost my voice. not to mention the fact that certain people just dont seem to get the message.

laterz x
love yuo xxx

I Love you

i love westlife, but not as much as i love him :)

i know i've deffinately failed chemistry and biology so far :) possibly english too oh well

hopefull i get higher than c's too get into college

not got much too say realli, feelin realli ill now though :(

laterz x
love you bubs xxx

ffs...

why is it when you're happy people decide to go and say stupid things?

why is it guys take forever to admit how they feel and then when its too late they say they always wanted to be wiv you?

well i guess its tough coz i'm happy wiv him and thats the way its goin to stay :) no matter what anyone says to me i'm not going to end it wiv him

laterz x
i love you babe and i always will xxx

exams....

it's that time already :( started our mocks but they're realli important as they are the grades that get sent off to the colleges that we apply for :/

was realli ill last nite the first time i've felt that bad in ages :( but he made me feel so much better :) headaches and generally feeling really bad isnt good still not properly fine today but way better than i was, bin told i have to spend less time on the computer...

nearly finished my personal statement i have decided the career i want to do after a long talk to one of my teachers she was really helpful though and i have an idea of the course i want to do just hope i get in now... (fingers crossed)

realli looking forward to christmas, cant wait to see him its going to be soo good :) i think he'll like his christmas present, not telling what it is though :)

working two weekends in a row straight after the mocks and i wont be able to talk to him for those weekends :( but i guess its not all bad as it means i'll have more money to spend on christmas presents :)

anyways thats it for now, revision time agen :( english and chemistry :(

laterz x
love you xxxx

songs

Just for him :)

i havent wirtten anything the last couple of days :( college application, revision and the amazing boyfriend of mine take up alot of my time :)

well got a few more poems written in the time spare that i have, which is getting rare at the moment, maybe one day i'll get published :)

i actually think if i see another revision book/ guide/ notes i may scream gaah i really dont like exams but now i have to do well coz i really want to go to college now and if i get good results in these mocks then i will have a chance at getting to do the courses i want to do

decided what i'm getting him for christmas :) i really hope he likes it though :/

once this week is over i'll be able to relax and look forward to the christmas holidays :)

i've nearly finished writing my college application just got half of it to go :/

i can't wait to see him...

i managed to get a million points on nearly all the songs on lips lol and thats without being able to sing

i have to go into skool tomorrow and help raise money for the yearbook, cant wait till we start making it, i'm really looking forward to seeing the pictures or everyone in year 7 :)

working the next two weekends :( oh well i need the money, i need to find a more permanent job :/

anyways thats it :)

laterz xx
love you my gorgeous amazing boyfriend :) xxx

:) things change... people do too...

i have had quite a good day, soken to crazy but cute :) as always :)

bin listening to jls :)

me and my mate decided to do finger painting after takin bout what we used to do when we were little :)

ermm bout it really children in need tomorrow :)

laterz x
love you xxxx

hmmm...

well good day, bad day to be honest

arguements lol, dont get some people sometimes...

exams, i hate revision i never get it...

actually managed to write a song today, its like the first time in months...

bin writing more poems...

decided what career i want to do i have actually decided and i think its somethin i would be good at :)

i need to sort my head out, got too much stuff goin on that i dunno what to do about....


laterz x
love you xx

some songs, i'll write later :)

some songs

i love him, he's everything that i need and ever will

had an okay day

can't wait for tomorrow night should be a laugh

laterz xx
love you xxx

well...

today started off really well and i think things are deffinately looking up, i've got my coursework back on track and i just hope nothing goes wrong :)

i've finally found a site that lets me post all of my poems :)

i really love talking to him and can't wait for christmas.

nothing much has really happened today.


laterz xx
love you xxxx

All of my poetry

thelast site i tried meant i wasn't able to have all my poetry online due to not having enough points therefore i have changed the site i use

:)

i wish....

i wish there was something i could do to show him how much he means to me, everything he does and everything he says is more than i could ever ask for. he is truely amazing i couldn't ask for anything more from him, he's kind, caring and really does care about all the people around him, there really is nothing more i could ask for.

i really can't wait for christmas it's going to be so good to see him and spend some time together.

laterz x
love you xxxx

i love him even more...

everything he does just makes me believe in us even more and i know that i havent felt this way about anyone before. i hope that we can stay together, he means so much to me and i'm so glad that he is able to tell me everything :) i know that he means so much to me, just to hear his voice is amazing and i appreciate everything he does and am really glad he feels the same way. When we can spend some time together it is goin to be really special.

i watched a really good film today and i think that it has shown me that you have to take the chance you have to follow your dreams and do what you feel is right.

i've actually done some of my textiles coursework after putting it off for so long and i've even started my revision, i think scott is starting to have a good effect on me :)


laterz x
love you babee xxxx

I've decided...

i've realized that i actually do write quite alot of poetry so i have decided to put it places:

http://www.writers-network.com/members/blitz0911

so if i don't post much here it means most of them are going onto the link :)

laterz x
love you xxx

i love talking to him :)

xfactor tonight :) go stacey!!

christmas is soon, which means i'll see him soon too :D shame i can't be annoyed with him i tell him not to do something but he does it anyway :)

anyways i'm goin to watch the xfactor later thats me time :):)

laterz xx
love youu xxxx

well the day started off realli bad but has ended realli well :D

hearing his voice is the best thing that i can spend my time doing, ... well apart from being with him. which i can't wait for christmas it's going to be so good to see him :)

well it was my dad's birthday today and he now has his laptop, and took me and my mum out shopping. i had the day off school coz i went to bed with a migrane and didnt get any sleep so i spent all morning asleep :(

i'm going to have to spend all weekend doing my coursework and revision :( then i think i'm ment to be working the following weekend :/ but i'm not sure, this time of the year is great coz i dont have to do much, but i kinda is anoying coz that means i dont get paid :( well it wont be long till i can get a full time job :) and it's a year till i can start to drive :) which is even better :)

i really cn't wait for christmas it's going to be so good, to spend some time with him, it should be good to find out what my mates think of him as well :) but tbh i think they'll get on wiv him especially as they know how happy he makes me :)

i wrote this and i'm not sure if i've posted it :/

please don't go away
i cant let our love go astray
i dont want to watch you walk away
everytime i'm close to you
i know you'll always be mine
i need you more each day
and for this i pray
for you to stay
how can i show you that you live inside my mind
our hearts will remain intertwined
walking together hand in hand
how can everyone misunderstand
this is our love for each other
i know i'll never find another
everytime i hear your voice
i get a feeling i can't explain
a feeling like never before
i want you to be with me forever
going on a journey through whatever
i just want you to be next to me
side by side forever is where we should be

well havent had really much happen today other than discover lips is easier to play than singstar :) either that or i can actually sing which is very unlikely :)

well thats it realli :)

laterz xx
love you xxxxx

today was another gooood day :)

my dad's birthday tomorrow :) we all got him a laptop :)

its apparently 43 days till christmas according to one of the teachers at school :)

lunch today was hilarious my hat :), the maths book :), the hand cream :), the photos :), the bisuits :), the paint :).... good times

well this weekend i have decided that i will get some of my textiles coursework done and hopefully get the dress finished from the summer :)

can't wait for christmas, and to lay in his arms :)

laterz xx
love you babee xxxxx

christmas :)

well i really hope scott can come in the christmas holidays, i really want to see himjust hope that nothing comes up :)

had quite a good day today but need something to look forward to coz all i have is these exams that they but back by like 3 weeks :(

me and half my mates have started listening to christmas songs already :)





i know what i'm getting him for christmas and i know he'll really like it, well he better do coz theres alot of effort involved in finding the right place to get it :)

can't wait to see him, it'll be sooooo good if i can :)

anyways waterloo road on tv tonite then maybe a little chat with him :) and possibly some coursework :/ (gaaah i hate school but i suppose only 6/7 months left then i can do what i want)

thinking bout not going to college and just getting a job :) that way i can do what i want when i want, and i'm actually sick of schools and teachers, wish i could leave now but if i did that then i would have no chanc eof getting a job and my parents would actually kill me :( all i've got to do is find a job somewhere, and then i'm sorted :)

really disliked biology today :( eyeballs are officially the most disgusting thing everrr.

i really wish sometimes i could just see him, and just spend some time together...

maybe i won't fail textiles anymore :) i've actually got some work done :P

i love it when he say i love you especially as we can't be together when we want to, but hearing his voice makes up for it. i love finding things out about him and can't wait to hear more embarrassing stories about him, good job there arent many bout me :) otherwise i would be worried bout what he could find out :P.

i hate talkin bout myself it makes me feel bigheaded, and there aint actually much to talk about to be totally honest, if people want to know stuff bout me then generally have to ask :)

can't wait to go christmas shopping especially now the ice rink is up on parkers peace :) the lights are gonna be well good this year, shame i cant go see them bein switche don this year was good the other year :( oh well :P. maybe i'll go skatin at some point agen last year was good especially wiv all the lights round it and dinner afterwards was a laugh, my cousin knows how to cheer me up :) shame i can't skate properly, hopefully we'll be able to go to ice planet in peterborough wiv the skool agen coz last year it was good i actually learnt how to skate properly but can't remember half of it :(

i really love christmas, and it's only the second week of november :/ that means bout 6 weeks till christmas day :) 45 days apparently :) not actually that long.

just got to decide what i'm getting my brother and sister for christmas now :/ i know what i'm getting everyone else :)

new year should be really good got my auntie and uncle and my cousin coming over on new years eve and maybe some other family too :) the summer holiday wiv them was great especially when we were all playin badminton that was pretty funny specially when me and my dad where beatin everyone :) it was realli hot too, still got a slight bit of my tan although it's goin pretty quick :(.

i really want to go to DI4R agen next year but not sure which one :/ probs not where i went this year, coz i want to try soemthin new :)

got rehearsals agen on friday for the christmas concert still cant figure out why i'm singing in it :/ some of the songs are good and it should be a laugh mr B is funny anyways so rehearsals are good specialy if bren bren turns up agen me and her had a laugh dancin last week :)

well thats basically all i have to say :) thought i'd fill in some of the gaps, seeing as he was at kick boxing and i didnt have much else to doooo :)

laterz xx
love you babe xxxx

:)

had a good day today :)
birthday cake is nearly gone :(
gettin there wiv my textiles coursework :)

bin writing again :)

close in my heart
but in reality far apart
together we're meant to be
i know you'll agree
with you by my side
i never want to hide this feeling i have inside
distance doesnt mean anything to me
together is how we're meant to be
we'll be fine
just make sure you stay mine
lets do this together
at least then we know we'll be forever




this is just like realli funny we were all watchin it in media today, although bout 2 of those happened to me :/ when i played

anyways thats bout it

laterz xx
i love you xxxx

what a good day :)

lol had a really good day especially as its my birthday :D 16 at last :P

got some really good presents and cakes :D and everyone made it a really good day at skool
lmao at jade at that hot maths teacher :) (no one can be as good as scott though)

i love him soo much, i really hope he can come for christmas :D he's amaziing and gorgeous :)

well thats it really

laterz xx
love you xxxx

:)

he is........

i really do think he is too good for me, he would do anything to see me, just hope we can. i love him and cant believe my parents are actually willing to let him stay, i just hope we can sort it out so that he can :)

its bin along time since i've posted one so i thought i'd post this seeing as it's rememberence sunday:

fighting for you and me
so we can be what we want to be
giving their lives
spend a minute to think about those that didnt survive
the wives left behind
see them come home
give them some respect
what more could we expect
they give everything for us
not doing it for some kind of buzz
lives are lost
for a big cost
you shouldn't have anything to hide
becuase they're our pride
give a thought to the families
forget about the controverise
they're our herose
lets support them in what they need to do
remember it's for me and you

for him:

walking hand in hand
strolling side by side
i stare into your eyes
met by your longing gaze
it's a feeling that you cant miss
greeted by your kiss
just tp be with you
is all i'd ever want to do


i hope that we'll be able to see each other soon...

laterz xx
love you babe xxxx

well...:)

had quite a good day today beat aaron at singstar agen :)
went wiv my family to buy my birthday presents for tomorrow, love my parents present :) well one part of it was amazing coz of what i've now got out of it :). bin practicing my guitar but i seem to be getting worse :/

last nite was really good looking forward to new year wiv the family :) it was funny when uncle ivan and dad were playin on the playstation, god their so competitive :)
and mum and auntie angela (my second mum) wiv their 20 million questions :)

birthday tomorrow :D:D

anyways thats it

laterz xx
love you xxx

good songs :)

this is for him and just for him :)

i've wanted to say this to you but i can never find the right words so here it :)

ever since i met you i new you were going to be special to me, you always care about the little things and how i feel, i'm so lucky to have you in my life. the little things that you do always make me smile, just talking to you can make all my problems go away. i don't care what you say you are amazing, because there is no one that would treat me the way you do (and you are gorgeous). i love the fact that you have your dreams and you actually want to achieve them. when we talk and all you seem to want to do is make sure i'm alrite makes me feel so special. when we talk on msn and you wait till i'm offline before you go. i loe yu becuase you love me for being me and you dont want me to change :).... babe i love you and i just want you to know that i'll be here for you as much as you are there for me, i want you to tell me all the little things about you, i want to ask the questions you ask me, i want to be the one you ask for advice. you know i love you and i miss you when we can't be together but when we are together it will always be special.

i love you babe xxxx

lol my mate sent me these :)

everyone keeps sending the links to each other so i thought i'd just post them :)

laterz xx
love you xxx

what a mess :/

well i have realized how shit my life is and has been...

get bullied for 3 years
get beaten up
my auntie gets raped
my mum gets arthritis
my sister gets sexually assaulted and nothing gets done about it
and then there's all the little daily problems too

apart from those everything is fine.

at least i've got him :)

why is it when things start to look up they go straight back down again. i wish i had the guts to try and get back into football but i know there's no chance of getting back into it now.

got my school report today and found out that out of the a* and a i'm predicted i am only gettin that in 2 subjects.

got asked to sing in the christmas concert, thats a bit of a joke seeing as i cant even sing, stupid music teacher, then got dragged along to rehearsals, christmas so early and i didnt really feel like it.

my birthday's on monday :) and i dont feel like celebrating it at all. i even know what my parents are getting me this year, they know me so well that they have to get me to buy my own present, good one.

spent all morning making sure there was nothing for my mum to do or otherwise she would end up doing soemthing and ending up hurtin herself, especially as her arthritis is bad agen :( so i managed to do the housework in under and hour wiv my sister and go down to the shop to go get her some magazines all before i went to skool.

well there aint much else to say, just glad i've still got him :)

laterz xx
love you xxx

Something for him :)

our songs <3 hope he stays mine forever, i'm never goin to let you go now babe, love you.

laterz xx
love you xxx

Maddie Mccann

just found this heard bout it on the radio and thought i might post it :) really hope they find her soon



laterz xx
love you gorgeous xxx

I Love him :D

i'm so glad that i've got scott back :D and love everything about him, he's amazing :) i can't believe he'd want me back after i ended it. i've bin so happy today all because of him:)

anyways they have moved our exams :@ so now they're in somethin like three weeks, got no idea why and our reports are late :@ but there agen i aint too bothered about that :/

today i managed to make my arm swell up playing volleyball no idea what happened but nearly got taken to hospital :/ but its all gd apparently it was only something like a bruise or sprain but it dont hurt or anythin :)

maybe i'll try doin some textiles tonight or graphics :) dunno gotta get some revision done and have a look at future careers apparently :/



anyways thats it for now

laterz xx
love you baby xxx

SCOTT ILY

Well today has possible been the best day i could've wished for. well since about 6pm onwards anyways.

i'm so happy that we're back together :D

well maybe now i'll be able to sort out my school work and get it back on track :)

i know one things for sure my sister will be very pleased that she's got her laptop...

well i'm off to make sure he stays mine forever

laterz xx
i love you so much xxxxx

i can't believe what i've done

i know that what i have done has ruined everything, i still love him and wish i was still with him, i wish i could tell him. i thought i'd be able to move on and be with someone else but i can't all i do is think about him and how i feel about him. if i could do anything to have him back i would, ever since i ended it i have regretted it. i havent bin able to stop listening to our song, all i need to know is that he feels the same and maybe we can be together again. all i want is for him and me to be together again what we had i'll never have with anyone else.

apart from that, i have managed to get behind on my coursework coz all i have done is think about him

gettin my hair sorted on saturday :D goin to my auntie and uncles to sort out the holiday for next year :) then sunday buying new clothes for my birthday present :D i love my parents :)

i dont know what i'd of done with out the girls the last couple of days and i'm glad they've made me realize what i need and thats him, i sed to them if he's found someone else i'll be able to wait and i will.

laterz xx
i love you just hope you feel the same....

:(

i wish things could be different to how they are. maybe if i could go back and change everything i would, its just things werent working as they were so its better that scott has a chance to be wiv someone else than wiv me and i'm not able to make him happy or i end up doin somethin i regret.

dont realli know if i want to go on saturday :/ cinema with another guy..... but he realli make me happy and has bin there for me the last week when scott wasnt able to and i'm realli glad he was;:)

i want to move on and hopefully i can, i hope everything goes well for him and he can find someone else.


laterz xx