what a mess :/

well i have realized how shit my life is and has been...

get bullied for 3 years
get beaten up
my auntie gets raped
my mum gets arthritis
my sister gets sexually assaulted and nothing gets done about it
and then there's all the little daily problems too

apart from those everything is fine.

at least i've got him :)

why is it when things start to look up they go straight back down again. i wish i had the guts to try and get back into football but i know there's no chance of getting back into it now.

got my school report today and found out that out of the a* and a i'm predicted i am only gettin that in 2 subjects.

got asked to sing in the christmas concert, thats a bit of a joke seeing as i cant even sing, stupid music teacher, then got dragged along to rehearsals, christmas so early and i didnt really feel like it.

my birthday's on monday :) and i dont feel like celebrating it at all. i even know what my parents are getting me this year, they know me so well that they have to get me to buy my own present, good one.

spent all morning making sure there was nothing for my mum to do or otherwise she would end up doing soemthing and ending up hurtin herself, especially as her arthritis is bad agen :( so i managed to do the housework in under and hour wiv my sister and go down to the shop to go get her some magazines all before i went to skool.

well there aint much else to say, just glad i've still got him :)

laterz xx
love you xxx

bin one of them days :(

i dunno why but today has just dragged on, it seems like its bin forever since this morning.

i managed to drag myself out of the house and go for a run, do some speed skipping and 100 sit ups and 100 push ups. It helped me clear my head :)

i dunno why but i can't stop writing stuff about scott, it's like the words just write themselves.

I'm stuck on you
i'm falling i love
with everything you do
i want it to be you and me
forever and always
it's the way it should be
we're together forever
i never want to let you go
this i want you to know
don't walk in front of me, i may not follow
don't walk behind me, i may not lead
just walk beside me, and be all that i need
without you my heart is left without a beat
without you in my arms my life is incomplete
i want to be the smile you put on your face
the girl you hold in your embrace
just don't ever leave or walk away
this may seem clicke
but i love you forever and always

- forever and always


i've spent all day writing, but i think thats one of the best :D

i dunno why but my head seems to of filled itself up with everything bad from the past, and everything seems to be bringing itself up for some reason and i realli wish it wouldnt


anyways thats it

laterz xx