Sometimes with a new year you don’t get the new start you’d hoped for

Right, I don’t really know what to write in this post, everything all of a sudden feels really...

First things first, me and Scott have now been together for 9 months (that time frame doesn’t feel too great at the moment but I’ll come on to that in a bit). Things haven’t always been great for us, but we always manage to get through them together. He is really great because no matter what is going on for him he’s always there for me and there really aren’t that many guys around who are like that. I am really lucky to have him.

College feels really weird at the moment, I don’t feel like I’m close to anyone again, like I fit into any of the friendship groups that I used to feel really a part of. Maybe that’s just growing up. I feel like taking the easy way out and dropping out but that won’t help me in the future, and also like Scott said there really isn’t that long left anyways.

The reason why 9 months doesn’t feel great is because at the moment I’m facing the prospect of being pregnant. This isn’t something I have ever planned and I’m freaking out about it and so is Scott because both of our parents would kill us if I actually was. There is still a chance that I might not be but the more I think about it the more it seems a possibility. I know what people think about teenage pregnancies but this really wasn’t planned and wasn’t like that, we aren’t those kind of people. Neither of our parents know at the moment but if it goes on any longer then I’ll have to say something because I’ll have to do a test, how do you break that to your parents? Plus as Scott is panicking so much about it I don’t really have time to think about it until I’m on my own because I’m always trying to convince him it isn’t likely to happen which probably isn’t the best thing as when you’re alone thousands of possibilities go through your head.

That and exams really don’t go too well, I’m hoping both me and Scott can forget about it over the next week or so while we do exams because I don’t want to fail them and have more things to worry about and I don’t want him to either.

Sometimes listening to other people’s problems makes your own seem bearable and means you can forget about your own for a while...

I’m going to hand in my CV at another potential job opportunity tomorrow, Halfords it isn’t ideal but it could be interesting and at the end of the day a job is a job, plus I really need the money. Hopefully (with everything crossed) something will come out of it.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxxx