Life is pretty lame at the moment; the minute I think I’ve solved everything something else happens which makes me doubt the decision... I’m talking about college again. My whole family keep telling me that I’m making a mistake and that I’ll regret it and so does everyone else. I wish someone would tell me what to do and make me do it because I hate making decisions especially when they will affect my life.
Two nights in a row now that I haven’t been able to talk to Scott, well at least I got to speak to him on the phone for 20 minutes I guess that’s better than nothing.
I hate the fact that everywhere I turn at college there are couples together, because it just makes me think of how that should be me and Scott... I guess that’s part of the reason why I hate being there too. Plus the fact I don’t get on with many people, the subjects being boring, having way too much free time with no one to spend it with as I’m avoiding Lizzie and Cat because they only want to talk about their horses which is okay for the first 5 minutes but after that it gets boring.
I hope I get at least an interview at this job I’ve applied for because it’ll be a good opportunity to get away from all that, but then everyone else wants me to stay at college because ‘I can put up with all the other stuff’ quote my Dad, basically I’ll let everyone down if I drop out and live a miserable life.
Plus if I quit college I’ll feel like I’m letting people down in a way but I’ve just had enough of it.
I had a majorly long time to wait till I could be picked up because I finish at 12.20 but I don’t normally get picked up until at least 3. But most people have a free like me but have to go to lessons at half 2 so I wasn’t alone for all that long. I spent time with Abbey, Matt, Jake, Max, Milly and Sam although Milly and Sam were too busy eating each other to really notice anyone else. They’ve basically just got together but as me and a couple of other people said if they carry on just eating each other they aren’t going to last for very long because they’ll get bored of it. Anyways back to what I was saying Max and Jake basically kept us all entertained with some funny comments about everything and everyone.
Everyone thinks there is something majorly wrong with me I’m just trying to balance everything up in my head again.
I have a packed day at college tomorrow, four full lessons… wish me luck!
Laterz xo
Love you xxxxx
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