Sometimes things go well sometimes they go bad but right now it feels like it’s either. I’m not in a good mood or a bad mood, things aren’t going great and they aren’t going bad I just feel a bit.... loads of old stuff got stirred up last night, stuff that I thought I could/ had forgotten about but a small comment that was meant to be a joke sort of made me think about everything, I overreacted to it because of everything that happened in my past. I guess that’s something in my past I’ve always wanted to forget about but it’s what makes me the way I am and I don’t like who I am at times because I overreact so much to little things like that. You probably think I’m going on about nothing but I don’t want to go into it again because of the state I was in last night I don’t want to go into that again.
Why is it when things seem to be going well something always has to happen to make you rethink it?
I hate having the past brought up especially mine there’s quite a few things I wish I could forget, that’s why I’m so looking forward to college now for my fresh start, new people, new opportunities, sounds pretty good to me.
My Granddad is slowly getting better, which is really good.
I’ve got so much stuff to sort out before I start college; the first few months are going to be so busy! But I’m actually looking forward to it, which is different to how I was feeling a few days ago but it will be good because of the fresh start I’m going to be having.
Lately I’ve been going for long walks in the morning to clear my head because even before last night I kept thinking about things and just needed to be away from everyone to sort my head out, I don’t know why but at the moment I like being on my own to sort my head out, I’ve been bottling loads of things up rather than talking about it but to be honest I don’t want to talk about half the stuff because it will only make it seem worse.
Laterz xx
Love you xx
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