Okay so I woke up in one of those moods this morning were I wasn’t either happy or sad.
Had one of those conversations with Scott about me not opening up to him but it’s not a case of I don’t want to it’s a case of I find it hard to open up to anyone it’s not just him. I know I should be able to but I just find it really hard to, I hate putting my problems on other people. I know he just wants to be there for me but he has his own stuff to deal with so I don’t want him to be worrying about me. It’s stupid I know but that’s how I feel.
I swear today it’s been cold enough for it to snow. It’s that kind of weather when you just want to watch a film in bed...
Spent some of today talking to people and their plans with their boyfriends the little things that I wish I was able to do with Scott, and all the time I’ve hardly spoken to Scott because he was playing football and he isn’t supposed to be doing it.
I’ve spoken quite a bit to Louis the last couple of days too. I know I was surprised when he started talking to me but I don’t see the point in holding grudges and all of that yeah he treated me badly but we’re not in that situation anymore.
People keep saying I should keep some distance between me and Scott and not get so close to him in case he does what Louis did but honestly I don’t think Scott would use me like that. Just like when people say how do you know he isn’t cheating on you because you don’t see him?
I’ve pretty much wasted the day today; I haven’t done anything, no college work or anything... I just haven’t had the motivation to do anything literally. I can’t wait for the holidays already just to get away from college for a couple of weeks and not have all of this work to do, and to get away from some of the people.
Laterz xo
Love you xxx
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