Confessions

I don’t normally have an idea of what I’m going to post here but today is different for quite a few reasons.

Scott did see my post last night and I really wish he didn’t see it & I feel really bad about it. But it did mean we have actually talked for the first time in weeks and it meant so much to me to know that things are slowly getting back to how they should be between us.

But the title of this blog has to mean something and I know I said to Scott last night I wanted to forget the last few days and move on but first there’s something I haven’t ever written about and has played a big part in my life and helping me cope with things and especially the last few days... I can’t believe I’m writing about this especially as Scott will see this (if he still reads this) but here goes. That picture is of a cuddly toy cat but that’s not all it is, it has a name, ‘Cleo’. I’ve has Cleo since I was four and until a few days ago just sat at the end of my bed because I hadn’t really needed it well since everything happened the last few days I’ve spent the last few nights crying into it. Normally I wouldn’t admit to this but the last few days have changed me and I think, well I hope it’s for the better.

Now we can forget the last few days.

I woke up with a smile on my face for the first time since everything blew up. Today has been such a good day things with Scott have just got better and better. One thing that hasn’t been so good though is I got sunburnt while I was working at the weekend and now my shoulder, neck and half of my face hurt... ALOT!

It’s been a while since I’ve spent all afternoon watching DVDs and eating ice cream to be precise a Gossip Girl Box Set. The last time I did that was when Louis tried to sue me for sex, so quite a while ago. But this time I was doing it for a different reason plus I haven’t really watched much of it anyways it was really only playing while I was working some stuff out for someone very important to me but I can’t say anymore on here because then that person would see it and I want it to be a surprise, especially as I think I actually love him and don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost him. So even if I can’t be with him on his birthday which I really hope I can, I want to make sure I get him something really special.

He said he would be online all night tonight but I guess his plans have changed and he’s going out with his mates for a BBQ, but I don’t want to come in between him and his mates and I’m glad he doesn’t let me. I just wish he wouldn’t say that he will be able to talk to me all night when he won’t actually be able to.

I really do love Scott

Laterz xo