Sometimes it just doesn’t help

I’ve just read Scott’s blog; I don’t know what he wants, us to stay together or what. But I can’t do any more, I talk to him as much as I can, I’ve even gone to see him. I know it sounds bad but he’s the one who says he’ll talk but doesn’t come online, it’s little things like that that makes it hard for me. Then I see something like his blog last night and it makes me doubt whether he even wants to be with me. It’s been a hard time for me, I don’t cope with exams well and I know I have taken a lot of it out on him and that’s not fair on him, but right now I can’t go and see him till after the summer and then I don’t know if I can till I am able to drive because of starting college and having to settle into that. I don’t know what to think anymore. I thought things were fine with us apart from us both just being busy, obviously he thinks different, but I can’t do anymore at the moment, not because I don’t want to but because I actually can’t.

I can’t believe he’s saying this after everything; I’m trying my best to make things work. It feels pointless when he writes something like that. I know why he feels like it but now I feel like it’s all my

Maybe my mates were right, maybe he has found someone else, I don’t know but what I do know is that we need to talk.

I always said the distance would be hard; he was always the one that said we’d be able to work with it.

I really do love him and don’t want to lose him, but I want him to be happy so if that isn’t with me then I’ll have to deal with it, won’t I.

A year since Michael Jackson died. Time goes pretty quickly now a days.

I might/ might not write again later on, trying to some revision but now that I’ve read his blog, I don’t think that will.

I really want us to sort this out. I don’t know what I’d do without him.

I thought things were just getting better then this happens. But that life really, something good happens then something bad comes along to take the smile off your face.

But what I do know right now, I haven’t ever met anyone like Scott before and haven’t felt this way about anyone before. He’s made me so happy the last few months and I don’t want to lose what we have.

If we are going to work, we need to talk about this and work it out, right now I can’t change anything, so i need to stop thinking about it, but I can’t and I don’t think writing this down is going to help for some reason.

I can’t lose him.

Laterz xo