do i stay, do i go, do i want this, do i need it

 

I love listening to songs just before they become popular, but then I never like them when they become popular because they end up being over played.

I seem really tired today the result of not much sleep and having to keep the weight off of one of my legs, it’s not fun. But on the upside it is getting better. Having a knee that swells up often is part of the reason why I keep my legs covered because they (well my left one) generally looks disgusting.

I think I’ve actually started growing up and realising things don’t always happen the way you want them to so you have to change what you want to suit what is possible. Sometimes you won’t achieve your dreams but without dreaming ad having hopes you not going to better yourself.

As of today I’m forgetting about grudges and moving on it’s not as if I’ll see half the people after the next few weeks anyways.

Still not sure about college... part of me really doesn’t want to go, but if I don’t go I feel like I’ll be letting people down as well as myself (I still don’t think my grades will be high enough).

Job search still isn’t going anywhere yet.

I’ve been stuck in this weird mood all day I’m not happy and I’m not sad, it’s annoying... apparently I’m love sick, basically missing Scott well according to my mates anyway. But I do miss him a lot.

I wish it would stop raining...

I know I’ve most probably failed the maths exam today, I couldn’t answer half of the questions my mind went totally blank, oh well will have to make up for it on the other paper on Friday. I’ve got 2 hours of English tomorrow but I’m normally good at that kind of stuff it’s reading and writing (my imagination comes in useful) shame you can’t write poems in it though. I’ve had enough of all the exams now.

I need to decide if I want my hair back short for prom or whatever soon, got the dress and shoes so that part is sorted.

I used to spend hours writing poems but I just don’t have the time anymore. I’m going to try writing more along with the other promises I’ve made myself which probably won’t happen.

It’s really been one of those days were I wish I stayed in bed in my nice warm duvet even though it’s been fairly warm. I just need to hide for a few days just because I feel all crappy, no reason for it just do.

I really wish I lived closer to Scott and we were able to spend more time together.

I don’t feel like talking to people either and I need some credit but not going to get any credit because my new phone is hopefully arriving tomorrow so I’ll have to last till then.

I think after I talk to Scott (hopefully soon) I’ll try having an early night and get rid of the weird mood I’m in.

S : makes people laugh
T : a smile to die for
A : crazy
C : selfish
E : has gorgeous eyes
Y : is loved by everyone

H : stick to one
U : is loved by everyone
B : loves people and sex
B : loves people and sex
A : crazy
R : funny
D : a very good girlfriend or boyfriend anyone ever had

One of those name things, apparently that’s true.

I have four months to work out what to get Scott for his birthday, I know it seems a long time but he’s awkward and keeps saying I don’t have to get him anything so I’m going to take ages to come up with an idea.

I’ve rambled for ages, trying to kill time till Scott comes online.

I’ve got loads of things floating about in my mind that I need to sort out and work out what to do about…

Love you xxxx