A day with my positive than bad, always a plus

Today has been good and bad.

The good stuff happened before the bad so I’ll start with that. My mum has agreed to getting me a bearded dragon for my 18^th as long as I do some things in return:

1. I have to start going to college regularly, meaning no days off if I feel tired, or if I feel bogged down by college

2. I have to keep my grades up at college as well

3. I have to find a part time job so that I am able to fee the dragon and look after it properly once I have it.

I know I’m capable of all of that the only problem is finding a job. There are no jobs anywhere at the moment and the fact anywhere I do apply to apparently I am unemployable due to a lack of experience in everything and anything. But how am I supposed to get that experience if no one will employ me!

The bad part being Scott told his friends about getting into a football team before me, apparently me knowing isn’t important, I thought things between us were improving, but they can’t be if he’s doing this again. I properly wouldn’t have even been told unless I hadn’t been sent the text by mistake.

Today has been quite productive I have found what I want to do at uni which will give me something to aim for and I saw my grandparents who apparently think I’m getting married really soon. Plus the deal I made with my Mum, all in all pretty good.

Tomorrow is my last day off from college – so let’s hope I get over this illness soon

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Life can be really tough sometimes…

Lady Gaga
taught me that it's okay to be different,
Ke$ha
taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks,
Bruno Mars
taught me to do anything for that one person I love,
Eminem
taught me that life is hard, but you can make it through,
Taylor Swift
taught me not every guy is going to treat me right,
Michael Jackson
taught me to always love the people around me.
Music
taught me how to live. ♥

This whole emotional wreck thing is starting to do my head in, I never used to be like this, things never used to get to me this much, I never used to freak out over the littlest things so much... I guess that’s what life does to you.

I have had to take yet another day off from college, it’s starting to do my head in. I hate being ill and right now I feel like rubbish.

I had someone I don’t even know have a go at me last night telling me that I’d said things that I hadn’t, yes that person was Scott’s ex, I really hate that as soon as things are going good between us again someone has to come along and ruin it, it always happens.

When I’m feeling like this I always wonder what the point of actually being happy is because whenever you seem to be feeling good about things something or someone always manages to bring you down.

I didn’t get the job I applied for. So it looks like I’m definitely staying at college.

All my holidays are still really empty at the moment, and I’m trying to find ways to fill them but I can’t seem to come up with any ideas.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

It’s been a long day!

2 days, 2 people, 2 hospitals. Scott was in hospital yesterday and my brother was in today. Basically he collapsed at school and landed face first; I don’t quite know how that happens but yeah it did! Although this event of the day meant I didn’t have to wait for my bus as my parents and my brother were still in hospital when I finished college which meant I walked down and met them and got a lift home, this was way better than waiting for my bus in the cold especially when it is usually late.

I am making a massive u-turn decision about leaving college, after this week I’ve realised how much having or not having these qualifications will affect my life. I’ve now decided I’m going to sit the rest of college out and aim to go to university like I originally planned. I know that I can achieve really high grades which mean that I will be able to get into a good university. I’m really interested in the media courses and I’m looking into them because they seem to be more ‘me’.

Me and Scott have sorted everything out now we had a massive talk last night and we’re sorting things out and everything is getting back to how we should be without all the arguing.

Today has felt really long and has been dragged out by the fact I’m ill, which isn’t particularly great! I just need to go to bed…

Plus my parents have agreed to me getting a bearded dragon for my 18^th in November as long as I find out everything about them and how to look after them properly.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx