Even when my world’s falling down I still wear a smile… Lucky me (part 2)

I feel like I don’t know what’s going on in my head anymore, so I did what any girl would do when she’s feeling shit, I bought some rom coms and some ice cream and tomorrow will be a DVD day, although I did spend £30 more than I intended well retail therapy always helps too.

I had a good chat with one of the besties, and realised a few things aren’t as good as I thought they were, I guess it’s the domino effect, one thing goes wrong so several things do and so on. So the last few nights I haven’t been sleeping well so I’ve stayed up late texting people trying to sort things out, which has ended up in my parents telling me they’ll take my phone off of me if I do it again tonight. But I still won’t be able to sleep because of all the things buzzing around in my head.

So I’m going to empty it here, Scott will probably see it but I have nowhere else to do it.

1. I wish people would stop interfering

2. Things still don’t feel right between me and Scott

3. I’m worried about what will happen/ be said while I’m at camp

There’s quite a lot more but... I just don’t know it’s hard to summarise, me and Scott ever since we saw each other we became really close then we’ve drifted really far apart, he says he’ll do little things like going online to talk to me then doesn’t or leaves it till quite a while later, he goes times without replying to my texts, he doesn’t do the little things that used to do to make me smile like the long texts & the little posts on my facebook wall, I know it’s probably nothing and that things happen and people eventually stop those things but it’s been a while since he’s done anything like that. We hardly speak on the phone anymore. I just feel like he’s not interested in me anymore and doesn’t know how to tell me of as though I’ve done something wrong. We don’t talk like we used to and I’m seeing loads of other couples breaking up and I don’t want us to become one of them, but we don’t have time to talk about any of this stuff anymore. He hardly ever puts x’s at the end of his texts either now, I know I’m probably making a big deal out of nothing, I really hope I am.

I guess after everything blew up the last few days it’s given me time to over think everything, and he’s probably feeling the pressure to I just needed to get this out of my head and hope that if Scott does see this he doesn’t take this all the wrong way.

But right now I don’t know what I’d do without all my mates

Love you babe x

Laterz xo

I gotta pose for the cameras Even when my world's falling down I still wear a smile Lucky me

I made all of that money this weekend plus another £10 but I spent that. This will all probably be gone by midnight on Sunday.

So much has happened today I really hope we can work it out. Hopefully I can find out the truth from Scott not from anyone else.

I’ll explain the picture now when we got together the first time I wanted a way of showing Scott I cared about him so I got a notebook and wrote him a letter everyday, when we broke up I ripped the pages out and got rid of them because I was upset and hurt. Then when we got back together this time I decided I wanted to do the same sort of thing but this time it’s kind of like a scrapbook sort of thing.

This was the letter for today It’s the second letter I’ve written in it because I haven’t really had the time but I’m going to start doing it more if we get through this.

 

I promised more Prom pics so here they are.

This is our table, the theme was a Midsummer Nights Dream…

 

 

 

 

 

The champagne for our table…

 

 

 

 

Me and one of my bestest mates, Michelle, We’re dancing I don’t know who is behind us though…

 

 

Then it’s me and all of my best mates apart from one, I don’t know where Bethany was when this was taken.

It was such a good night.

Can’t wait for camp in less than two weeks!

I really want to sort things out with Scott.

SJ xo

Thank you for the memories

I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired.

Prom last night was really good but it’s really sad thinking I probably won’t see half those people again, especially those who I went to primary and playgroup with. Loads of pictures were taken some of them look pretty good can’t wait for Michelle to put hers up on facebook; there’ll be some pretty funny ones.

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I’ll add some more pictures tomorrow.

Work today has been so tiring and I saw Louis which I really didn’t want to do but we didn’t talk he tried to but I sort of pretended I couldn’t hear him. Got to be up really early for work tomorrow but £133 is worth it.

Hopefully I’ll be able to get some new clothes sometime this week and other new stuff, like hats and shoes; I need some new Airwalk trainers.

Camp stuff arrived saying the same stuff as last year, can’t believe how close it is now. I’m looking forward to it but in a way I’m not because I probably won’t get to speak to Scott all week. But I will get a chance to be away from everyone and everything and meet loads of new people which will be so good.

I need more sleep. I’ll catch up on Monday seeing as I have nothing to do.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx