Short But Sweet

I’m really tired so I’m going to try and keep this post really short.

I’m really worried about Scott as his concussion hasn’t really gone from the weekend and I can’t do anything to help him, I wish there was more I could do but there isn’t. I feel basically useless.

Today has been a fairly busy day, had every single lesson but managed to clear a few things up. I collected the pink form I’ve been waiting for for a few days and filled it in, just need to hand it in tomorrow, I’m applying to be a student mentor.

Life is just really crazy at the moment and I’m starting my own little project which has plenty of ways for it to expand but I’ll tell you all more about that some other time.

I just feel absolutely shattered, at college all day tomorrow but I have two frees so it’s not all bad.

- OVER AND OUT -

End of an era

I’m not longer using the e-mail that this blog is attached to so I’ve set up a new blogger account with my main e-mail that I actually use all the time. Plus this one is a little cluttered so I thought it would be good to start a fresh anyways. I will leave this blog active though so you can come back and look at it if you really want….

Please follow my new blog if you want to keep up to date with me!

http://sjmylittlejourney.blogspot.com/

I like ice cream

Well I have found out that I start applying to uni in September but I need to start deciding where I want to go (which I’ve almost nearly done) and writing my personal statement so that we don’t have as much to do when it comes down to it and its not all a big rush. I really can’t wait to start actually applying. It really isn’t that far away either.

But I am going to have to start saving some money in order to buy the stuff I need and to have some savings when I’m there. To do this I’m really going to need a job, I’ve already got my data entry job and I’m working on getting another one. my friend has got me a trial in the cafe at a wildlife centre which is on Saturday. Hopefully things on the money front will start working out. I’m planning on collecting bits and pieces over the course of the next year so that I wont be paying/ getting everything all at once.

I’m also thinking of setting up a new blog about my journey to uni/ and life while at uni sort of a blog about student life? What do you think…. it might be that I end up starting a whole new blog for it and not updating this one anymore….

Not a lot else going on really just getting ready for my exams and all the mocks that my teachers feel necessary at the moment.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Starting to get hectic

The past few days have been pretty good.

Yesterday it was the Royal Wedding, to be honest I didn’t really see much of it as it really isn’t my thing I saw bits of it on TV and in the paper today but other than that I haven’t really paid too much attention to it.

Although it did mean I had the day off from college which I spent at my Auntie and Uncles house having a BBQ. It was pretty good although I was a bit unsure about some of the food, the homemade burgers looked slightly ominous but were really tasty!

Scott wasn’t in too great a state last night, and there wasn’t really anything I felt I could do. He seems to be okay today though so that’s a good thing.

As I’m going to be applying to Uni’s soon I thought I really needed to start looking into it all properly. Through UCAS I will have 5 choices, I’ve been looking all day and have found my top two so far, Aberystwyth University which is in Wales will most likely be my first choice I just loved everything about it as it seems like my kind of place, I’ve ordered a prospectus and DVD from them so hopefully that turns up over the next couple of days! Bournemouth will probably be my second choice I’ve always wanted to go there as I love the place. This means I just need to find three others. I’m planning on continuing studying business as I have a real passion for it and am able to understand it fairly easily.

Not a lot else to say really. – Things are starting to get pretty hectic with exams coming up, plus the prospect of starting to apply for uni’s and the lack of a job.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Time for change and new experiences

It was a pretty short day at college today, only two lessons…. I LOVE WEDNESDAYS!

Last night/ today I have decided that I want to get into volunteering in my spare time, I’ve looked into a few different things and I’m now waiting for them to send me the full details, so far I’m looking at this hip hop crew, St. John’s ambulance and a longer placement over the summer with another company/ charity. Hopefully I’ll have something sorted soon, it’ll be something to add to my CV and to my personal statement for Uni. Plus I want to start helping people a lot more and as I have way too much spare time on my hands I think volunteering will be a good way to go about it. Plus I’ll be able to meet new people and gain some new experiences.

Last day of the week tomorrow at college, just happens to be one of my full days at college…. not so great, but I do have a long weekend so I’m not going to complain too much.

Haven’t really spoken to Scott all day, so not a lot to say about us really.

Definitely going to get back into posting here for you guys though, been abandoning this blog a bit.

I love the snooker, Ronnie O’Sullivan got knocked out just a minute ago which is a shame because he is one of my favourite snooker players, he has been since I was little. I would really like to see Judd win it now though.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Little update

I haven’t written anything for a while, been a bit hectic round here recently.

Well it’s been Easter half term, which has meant I’ve been able to spend time with Scott! We nearly spent the whole holidays together!!! He came to stay here to begin with and we had a really good time just having fun and being able to spend time together, Then I went to stay at his for a week, which was also really good. We did loads of different things, we saw Scre4m it was a really good film…. Scott’s hand got a little bit crushed though, we went to a beach and went sun bathing, Scott went in the sea but I decided I wasn’t going to risk getting hyperthermia, we also went to a castle place and had a picnic, we went for loads of walks together. I was just really glad to be able to spend some time with him.

I had an interview today for a part time job, I think it went okay, fingers crossed I get it… but I don’t think I will.

I was back at college today and feel really tired. I’m having to start my Uni search properly now and really work out what I want to do.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Finally…

It’s the Easter holidays, at last!

This time in two days time Scott will be here! I can’t wait to see him. Everything is all arranged too. It’s going to be really good to see him again.

My life has been pretty boring lately not a lot going on, I’m going to be applying to uni soon as well, that’s kind of scary to think how quickly that’s come around! I’m still waiting for my UCAS card to come through.

Having a BBQ tonight.

Later xo

Love you xxx

Night in for me

Sometimes I really don’t feel appreciated, I don’t know how to explain why.

I haven’t posted anything for a couple of days either so there is a fair amount to fill you all in on.

Firstly I was told by one of Scott’s ex’s that he had been cheating on my with her and four other people (this then when down to three) apparently it’s been going on for weeks. So a few e-mails went backwards and forwards she kept naming people to speak to, I did and they all told me it wasn’t true. Then she tells me that her and Scott have sorted everything out now and that there isn’t anything to worry about… What am I supposed to say to that….

Me and Scott have been together a year officially today. Things are okay between us I wouldn’t say they’re particularly amazing to be honest right now, they were last night but its slowly slipping again, he keeps saying one thing and then doing another and it really annoys me. Today he said he wasn’t playing football or going out and that he’d talk to me all night, but he’s gone out and played football and isn’t even replying to my texts. SOME ANNIVERSARY THIS IS. We were supposed to get seeing each other properly sorted last night too but we didn’t get round to it.

So I’ve resulted in having a long hot bath to relax and I’m going to watch Waterloo Road and Jamie’s Dream School in a bit, he’s busy tonight so I will be too…

I’ve been invited to go to a picnic with some mates from college but I don’t know if I can go because I have a lesson when they want to leave, I can’t skip it either because my attendance is rubbish and I need to keep it up so I can get in again next year.

I’m so annoyed at everything at the moment and I don’t know why, little things are really getting to me, definitely need an early night!

laterz xo

love you xxx

Monday is going to be busy…

Weekend is over, well practically anyways.

Got my mum a couple of DVDs and made her a video which she seemed to like so that was all good.

Finally got an e-mail about my training tomorrow, I’m really looking forward to it as I’ll finally be able to start earning a bit of money, which will be good!

Me and Scott are really good again.

Got the dentist tomorrow, I hate that place….

Sorted out Scott’s present for being together a year, hopefully he’ll like it.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

I’ve been busy lately…

I’m getting really bad at posting anything here lately mainly due to being busy as a result of leaving things to the last minute.

So…

I’m supposed to have my training on Monday, although it doesn’t look like that will happen now due to the fact they haven’t actually sent me any of the information to it that they were supposed to. So now I’m looking for a job again…

College is all going great which is pretty good!

My business blog that I mentioned before has now got it’s own domain name! Everything is starting to progress quite a bit with it. http://www.lessonsfromabusinessclassroom.co.uk/ (a link if your interested in taking a look)

Scott is coming to stay in just over a week, I’m really looking forward to seeing him! Next weekend I’m going to get him a present for being together for a year (I have no idea what to get him yet though) and an Easter egg. Then I’m going back to his to stay with him for a bit too.

It’s mother’s day tomorrow and I’ve still got to get my Mum a present, I’m cutting it a bit fine.

That’s about all that’s happening right now!

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Quick Catch Up

I’ve been kind of neglecting my blog the past few days, mainly because everything has been really hectic.


Well it looks like the time I’m already going to be spending with Scott in Easter half term is going to be extended. This is because I’m hopefully going to be going back with Scott when he leaves mine and then staying with him for a bit so I can watch him play his football match. It should happen seeing as both of our parents have agreed to it. So it looks like Easter really is going to be amazing! Especially as we’ll be celebrating being together for a year, and we’ve got our picnic as long as the weather is good, a shopping trip, Hannah and Milly’s party plus anything else we decide to do.

College is going really well at the moment too which is a bonus.

Everything is all good again

Today I’ve spent all day in the car because day wanted to pick up some new tyres for his landrover.

That’s all I’ve got to say really...

Laterz xo

Love you xxxxx

I’m a scorpio…

Basically I follow a scorpio horoscope thing on twitter and everything they wrote in this 90 facts about me are all basically true so I thought I would post them:

1. I'm a scorpio (I know.. *gasp*)
2. Most people think I'm mean but if you get to know me, I'm actually a cool person
3. I am a difficult person to get to know, Scorpios are secretive
4. You’ll never really know what I’m thinking. I could be feeling you but you wouldn’t know it
5. If I go out of my way to talk to you, I either care about you or you have something I want
6. Flirting does nothing for me. Confidence = turn on, as well as simple little things
7. I think about sex more than I care to admit
8. It may seem like I’m picky when it comes to love, but I’m really just weeding out all the dummies
9. I don’t trust anybody completely
10. I am irritable
11. I know how to push your buttons
12. I usually get what I want, I’m persuasive like that
13. I don’t let people in because they won’t understand the depths of my thoughts
14. So i keep it to myself and smile
15. I’m a people watcher
16. I like to be left alone, I need my space
17. You don’t want to see me mad
18. I’m independent but would love to love somebody
19. If I let you in you will see that I’m one of the most downest people you’d ever meet
20. I’m a serious person but I'm funny too, I’d do anything to make you laugh even at my own expense
21. I feel 1000000000 times stronger than most. But I know how to keep it together
22. I'm an affectionate person. Not in public though. Unless I'm in *that* kinda mood
23. I keep my friends close, and my enemies closer
24. I'm nocturnal
25. You probably don't know about it, but I have HUGE goals in life
26. You're all bark, no bite. I'M ALL BITE (Don't talk about it BE about it)
27. I'm a great multitasker..at work, home, in the bedroom (keep that in mind *wink wink*)
28. 1 of the best ways to lose me quick is to try to make me say or do something I don't want to do
29. When we're talking, give me your undivided attention or leave me alone
30. I will give you all of me, and I want the same in return
31. 98% of you wouldn't be able to handle me
32. Keep me happy and interested, and you'll have a loyal partner for life
33. I won't stick around if I'm not interested. I can't be fake, sorry
34. Hurt my family, I'll hurt you.. one way or another
35. WARNING: I can be addicting. When I'm gone you will experience withdrawal symptoms
36. I need someone who will support my ambition, not get in the way
37. I could be your best friend or worst enemy.
38. When I love, I love HARD. That's why I tend to love few. You have to be worth it
39. I could be difficult at times. I want to see you prove that you love me
40. I'm worth it. I promise <3
41. I don't like being bothered with questions. If you bother me, I'll ignore you
42. Don't play with me. I invented this game
43. I like to get my way, but I like it even more when there is a challenge involved
44. never show what I feel, NEVER
45. (We want) Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love
46. when we are quiet, we aren't being arrogant we are watching and thinking everything
47. I can sometimes forgive, but I NEVER forget
48. C0MPETETI0N ? BRING IT 0N
49. I love people, but I hate people
50. darkness is a state of mind we know too well.
51. Don't underestimate what I might know. I know everything about you!
52. we have an extreme passion within us. One that you'll probably mistake for what you think is love
53. I don't trust easy....so have patience...I will question you, deal with it...
54. I Never Let Some1 Play With My Feelings What So Ever!
55. The only thing that can stop ME from anything I put my mind to, is ME!
56. I know I'm a bitch...thanks for the compliment. :-) better a bitch than a doormat!
57. likes to read people but never let anyone read their minds
58. ready to have sex anywhere any time just give me a wink
59. Scorpios don't Trust easily. It has 2B Earned
60. we're so soft deep inside. our outside shell betrays big time!
61. Treat me good and I will treat you better, treat me bad and I will treat you worst
62. How about...I say what I want to say and I do what I want to do
63. I don't like being in emotional limbo. It's all or nothing.
64. If we fall down seven times, we'll get up eight times
65. I am not going to stick around if I see you flirting with someone else
66. I can be completely into you but if you do something I really dislike, we're done, YOU killed it
67. Once I see that other side of you, it will never be the same, I won't forget
68. It takes a lot to hurt me but fck... when I do hurt, it hurts SO bad
69. I'm super quiet when I'm upset. Nothing you do or say will get me to smile or react. Leave me alone
70. When I love someone I make them the center of my world, I put them above all others
71. I don't want to share you
72. Don't tell me what to do. If you do, I'll most likely do the opposite
73. I'm stubborn. Once I've made up my mind there's really nothing you could do. I'll applaud your effort though
74. I'm not impressed when you brag about superficial things. Don't throw yourself at me, it's tacky
75. I don't PLAY hard to get, I AM hard to get!
76. If I were to tell you what it takes to get me, I'd have to kill you
77. I like that subtle sex appeal and confidence. Nothing over the top. Don't try too hard
78. Lie to me and you'll get the blank stare
79. Sometimes I'll pretend I don't know something, to see if you'll admit to it or bring it up
80. I'm not afraid of you, you, or YOU! Try me, I DARE you
81. If I don't know you or don't like you, you don't exist. Don't flatter yourself thinking that you cross my mind
82. I could cut you out of my life in a split second if you cross me
83. Yea I'm a sexual person, it doesn't mean that I'll just sleep with ANYBODY though
84. It takes more than good looks to get me, I'm far from shallow
85. If I'm good to you, don't take my kindness for weakness. That can change QUICKLY
86. My mood can change in the blink of an eye. Be ready
87. It's hard to capture my interest, and hard to keep my interest.. but once you have it, you have it all
88. Seducing... it comes natural to me
89. I know I'm driving you crazy when I *casually* touch you in public. I act innocent though
90. I'm more in control than you think ;) I know exactly what I'm doing

Maybe it's time to cut lose

There have been good parts and bad parts to today.


College was really good it actually took my mind off of everything, which was great while it lasted.

Tristan at lunch was so funny, basically at our college like every other college round here there is a big thing about sexual health and safe sex and all of that and at the moment there are loads of give a ways and prizes if you do a Chlamydia test. Tristan really wants to win the Ipod that is one of the prizes so he has been trying to convince everyone to do a test so that he can enter for the Ipod on their behalf. His whole approach to it was really funny.
I have finally been able to sort out my bank account with Natwest, another stage closer to getting my job.
I honestly don’t think my parents are going to stay together much longer. I feel in away as if my whole life and everything I know is slowly falling apart. If they do split up I’m not going to choose between them, I’ll find somewhere where I don’t have to be a part of this anymore because what I have at home right now doesn’t feel like a family anymore. But what can I do? Nothing I just have to sit and watch as my whole family, everything I know falls apart.
Me and Scott aren’t feeling right at the moment either. He’s broken a promise to me and apparently people are going to try and break us up. Just what I need on top of everything else.

I really feel like cutting myself loose of everything and everyone and just working on getting through college and university and then worrying about everything afterwards.

Laterz xo

Love you xxx

Sometimes life goes back in time

Today feels like my life has gone back to where it was three years ago. everything was going down hill, nothing was going right and I felt like an outsider to my own family. Exactly how today has been and I guess the last few weeks has been working up to.

I’m glad that I’m starting my job in two weeks as then I’ll be able to start learning to drive and once I’ve done that I’ll be able to get away from home a bit. Especially at times like these when home doesn’t actually feel like home.

If things get any worse I’ll end up being where I was then and I really don’t want that.

I don’t want to be contemplating running away from home and turning my back on everything and everyone but if things continue to get worse then that’s what it’ll be again and I don’t want that. But sometimes you can’t fix things.

I don’t get on with anyone in my family anymore.

To be honest going to uni won’t come soon enough.

It would be nice to know that people are proud of me like my parents. All they ever do is put me down. Like when I decided to go to uni the best thing they could say was how are going to afford it yet when it was my sister they were telling everyone about it… life just isn’t fair sometimes.

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My second ebook is getting close to being finished.

I didn’t get to go skating today because the weather was terrible this morning.

Haven’t really done a lot at all really other than get shouted and having people have a go at me for various things.

I really need to get away but I can’t sacrifice how I’m doing at college.

Plus other people in the world have it worse than I do so really I can’t complain.

laterz xo

love you xxxx

It’s not about the money

I don’t really know what to right to be honest because there hasn’t really been a lot  happening.

I'm down to my last £10 so I’m really glad I’ve got my training for my new job coming up. I've already worked out what I want to save towards and buy when I get the job:

1. Driving lessons/ intensive course
2. Some new skates
3. Save for uni

they are the three things that I really want to work towards and hopefully I can buy once I’m earning.

Ringing last night was pretty good.

Went out shopping today and bought some new jeans which look like these:

I thought they were pretty cool plus I needed some new jeans.

Ermm not a lot else going on apart from waiting for this software to download but it’s taking forever…

Later xo

Love you xxxx

^{Title – Jessie J, Price Tag}

Such a good day!

Today has been so good!

I had college this morning which was actually alright. My group in media finished our project which looks really good and we're all really pleased with how its ended up looking. Then my ICT lesson was great I've finished all my coursework which means I get last lesson off tomorrow, which is a bonus.

Then this afternoon I went into town with Milly, Hannah and George. First we walked all the way from college to the Lucky Star which is an all you can eat chinese buffet. We all ate ALOT because it was all so nice and we had a good chat about everything. Once we finished eating lunch their we carried on walking into the main part of town we visited the museum of zoology because Hannah and Milly needed to take some pictures of all the bugs, bones and stuff... Me and George saw this as an opportunity to mess around and pose with all the skeletons which was pretty funny. Then we went shopping, I bought my self a new necklace which had a pair of boxing gloves on it, which I absolutely love! We spent ages walking in and out of all the shops, when college finished Lucy, Matt, Charlie and Koshie came and met up with us we all went and messed around making Matt and Charlie dress up in all these clothes in topman which was pretty funny. Me and George then went over to the other side of town to look in Primark as George needed to get an outfit for rednose day (She's being sponsored to dress up as a man). Once we finished there we walked over to the bus stop and met up with Matt and got the bus back home.

When I got home I found out I've been put on the training for my new job on the 4th April! I really can't wait I'm going to be able to start earning money for myself!

Me and Scott aren't really talking much anymore, I don't know I feel like he's pushing me away. Like tonight we have hardly spoken, the other day we didn't speak all night, it's just getting less and less. Tonight I didn't even know we weren't going to be able to talk because he didn't tell me he was busy. It seems like he's telling me less and less and I don't know what to do.

Laterz xo
Love you xxx

Everything goes from bad to good

It's true everything really does go from bad to good, in a constant circle yesterday was no different.

This guy from my college died yesterday he was in a car accident another person from another college near mine is stll in hospital fingers crossed they are going to be okay.

My media lesson was also a bit of a disaster one guy in my production group didn't like what we had done but he hasn't been turning up and doesn't contribute to the group.

Then when I got home from college yesterday I found out my guinea pig had died... she was my first pet but she was quite old so I guess it was her age. I'm not getting another pet for a while because of college and then going to uni so 'm going to wait for life to calm down a bit first then I'm gioing to think about it.

Today things have been on the up! I got up and checked my e-mails I don't usually bother doing this until I get home from college as it's normally mostly junk, but today was different. I haven't been having much luck on the job front lately but in my inbox this morning I have been offered a job by a data entry company. This means I'll be able to work from home and do the hours I want when I want all I have to do now is get on one of their training sessions hopefully their is still places on the session for the 31st March as then I'll be able to start working in April. But in order to be able to get on that training session I need to get my bank account finalised so I need to get an appointment with them for this week so I'm going to spend my free later today at college trying to ring them up and sorting that out.

Getting that job has really made things seem a lot better as I'm now hopefully going to be able to afford stuff and not have to rely on other people all the time which will make me more inderpendant. Plus I'm now going to be able to start saving for uni too which is going to be a massive bonus.

It all just relies on me being able to sort my bank account out and being able to get on that training session.

Other than that there hasn't really been alot going on at the moment really.

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx

Today, well not a lot has happened today if I am honest.

Although something positive has come out of today, I have found a new hobby I want to start. This has been what I have spent most of today trying to find, I wanted to find a hobby that would be fairly cheap to start and that I can do whenever I have any spare time. So, I've spent most of today looking at different sports as I want something that I can get a bit of an adrenalin buzz out of. I kept coming back to the same thing, some kind of skating I know that skateboarding definitely isn't my thing as I've tried it before so I started looking at different forms of rollerblading and rollerskating and I came arcross in-line figure skating it's like figure skating but on land and looks like something I would enjoy and can get into especially after I used to dance and I used to rollerblade for a while so it's basically combining the two... Watch this space.

That's about all I've got to say really.

Laterz xx

Love you xxx

Please Take A Look

I don't normally advertise anything on my blog but this is a little advertisement for my OWN book.

Ever since I was 16 I started writing poetry and that is exactly what is in this ebook. My poems this is the first volume that I will be releasing. All you have to do to read the content is buy it and dnowload it as it is an ebook.

Everything that I earn from any books I write and sell I am planning on saving the money for uni.

Glory Glory Man Utd

Manchester united beat Arsenal tonight 2-0 I was quite happy about this fact.

Not really spoke to Scott all day as he’s been busy with a show he’s involved with.

I’ve spent the majority of the day putting together a poetry book that I am currently in the process of self publishing so that I can sell it and hopefully get some funds together for uni.

Not a lot else to say really,

Laterz xo

Love you xxxx